


The Start Of Something Good

by ScaliaFics94



Category: Bellarke - Fandom, The 100
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-04-10 07:25:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 47,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4382645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScaliaFics94/pseuds/ScaliaFics94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke has a dream about Bellamy and finds it hard to face him after as they head out to Mount Weather for their people. Set after 2x05. Bellamy can't ignore the feelings he has for Clarke any longer. Octavia never expected the one person she hated more than anything to fall for her. Murphy can't keep lying to himself about Octavia. Mind the typos, I'm lazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bellamy Blake surrounded me. His brown eyes raked over my body making my skin crawl with excitement and my heart pound in my chest. That sexy smirk crossed his lips. "What do you want, Princess?"

Wasn't it obvious? "I want you." My voice said with confidence.

He backed me up into the nearby wall, his hands grabbed my waist. Fire shot throughout my body at his touch. A sound a lot like a moan left my lips as he pushed his body against mine. I could feel his breath on my lips. Desire shown through his eyes. "Now that I can give you." He hoisted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, my arms locked around his shoulders.

My lips crashed into his, both of us biting and nipping, trying to devour each other. I felt movement, all of sudden it was Bellamy lowering me onto his makeshift bed. My nerves far out weighted my awe at the sight of him without clothes. He surely heard my heart pounding out of my chest as he gazed at my bareness.

His eyes sought mine as he brought his hand to my cheek, barely touching it like a soft caress. "Clarke," Just like that all of my nerves went away. "Clarke, wake up."

I stared at him in curiosity. "Huh?"

"Wake your ass up, Princess. We've got work to do."

My body shot up at the touch of his hands. "Bellamy." Our eyes met. A blush crept to my cheeks. I looked down at my body, realizing that I kicked off my blanket in the nights, leaving me in my underwear.

His hands draped the blanket over me with a smirk. The same smirk that was in my dream. "We need to get a move on if we want to find the rest of our people." He stood and turned his back to me.

I stood with shakey legs, slipping on my clothes. "Right. Mt. Weather." A chuckle escaped me.

"What?" He asked, his back stiff.

I slid on my boots. "I was just thinking how different our lives would be right now if we were dropped on the right mountain. You wouldn't have had to step up as leader. None of us would've had to learn how to fight, how to kill. I wouldn't have fell for-"

His eyes found mine. "For Finn."

Words escaped me, so I just nodded. Had I fallen for Finn? Probably, but that was water under the bridge. Not when he had Raven. Not when we had more important things to worry about. Not when I started reading too much into the looks Bellamy gave me. Like the one he was giving me now.

I pushed past him. Fresh air and sunlight slapped me in the face. Guards and civilians worked and walked around. My eyes zeroed in on the group of Guards standing around. We needed more people than just me and Bellamy if we were going to get back Monty, Jasper, and the rest of our people from Mt. Weather.

"We need Finn and Murphy. Raven can't help us out on this one."

He came up behind me. "We don't need Finn." A bit of bark in his voice.

I headed towards his sleeping quarters. "Yes, we do. I know he's not in the best condition right now, but maybe that's what we need."

"Clarke, we have Guards. We have other people."

"He can do this. I know he can."

"Clarke!" He grabbed my arm and whirled me to him. His brown eyes unreadable as he took in my face. When he spoke his voice was lower. "We have other people."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, then tore my arm away. "Fine." Anger seeped into me as we headed to the group of Guards. Bellamy spoke to them with authority, briefing them on what to expect. Most of them have come in contact with the Grounders by now, they hadn't experienced the Reapers or the booby traps. They looked at him with inspiration in their eyes, all of them ranging in different ages and races, looking at Bellamy for wisdom.

His eyes locked on mine. "Clarke was held captive there. They're providing food, clothes, shelter for our people. They're not going to want to leave because they don't think of it as a prison. But when Clarke tried to leave the tried to kill her. She saw what they were doing to the Grounders, draining them of their blood. It's only a matter of time before they get around to our people. I don't know about you guys, but I want our people back."

The Guards cheered, amped up for our adventure as we started for the woods.

Bellamy stuck by my side no matter what pace I was going. "You have something to say, Princess?"

I gave a noncommittal shrug. "No, it's just some things never change."

"Oh yeah, what's that supposed to mean?"

My eyes scanned the forest for traps, for Grounders, for anything threatening because I couldn't meet his eyes just yet. "You're always inspiring people. You're always the rebel leader with a cause."

He grinned. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No," I shook my head. "It's sexy." My face blushed. Did I just say that out loud?

"It looks good on you, too, Princess."

My eyes met his. "Uh…" My feet fell from under me. It felt like I was falling. A hand grabbed my wrist. My eyes locked on Bellamy's as my hand wrapped around his wrist. My heart threatened to pound out of my chest as Déjà vu passed between us.

A few of the Guards tried to help him, but he had me all on his own as he pulled me up to him. He clutched me to his body. "Dammit, Princess."

I completely ignored how good it felt to be this close to him. "It's your fault. You distracted me."

He looked stunned. "I distracted you?"

The Guards made sure I was okay, but I waved them off.

I avoided that accusing stare. "Thank you."

He left it at that, walking ahead of everyone as we continued on.

"Ouch." Murphy said, coming up behind me. "Looks like the king has a weakness after all. Really it shouldn't be a surprise that's it's you of all people."

I gave him a look. "What are you talking about?"

He chuckled without humor. "You're both so clueless."

My irritation rose. "Murphy just spit it out or leave me alone."

He raised his hands in surrender, amusement clear on his face. "Why don't you ask Bellamy about his time spent on the Ark." He walked off.

Curse Murphy and his mind games. I had too much on my plate right now to be worrying about Bellamy and his nonexistent feelings for me. He thought I was good looking, so what? I knew I wasn't unattractive. Just like he knew wasn't either. That didn't equate to something more. Even though I wish it had.

What I needed to do was take the emotion out of it. We all needed to survive. Bellamy was a distraction, what happened earlier proved that. Now all I had to do was not stare at his ass.


	2. Take Me Into Your Loving Arms

Okay, after reading the reviews this morning I'm giving the people what they want. Another chapter. Just kidding, I was already making this a multi chapter. And if you've read by Teen Wolf fics then you know I like to switch up the POV's. I doubt I'll ever do a crazy POV like Abby or Jaha, mostly if not only Clarke and Bellamy. Let's do this shit…

BELLAMY'S POV

She can't be dead. Not Clarke. She's stronger than that. I clutched her watch in my hand, hoping to hell that my princess hadn't left me alone in this fucked up world.

"Let's keep going. We can find a trail." Finn suggested.

As much as I wanted to find our people I knew it wasn't that easy. Finn was slowly losing it, losing grip of who he was. Clarke would be disappointed in him. Which was even more pathetic because he was doing this all for her. A streak of jealousy ran through me like it always did when I thought about Finn and Clarke.

"Even if we do find a trail, how do we know its Clarke's? They've been gone for days. Let's not forget about the Grounders and Reapers that live in these woods." I spoke up.

He turned to me. "We have to do something. I don't see you coming up with ideas."

"Hey, I want to find Clarke just as much you do. All I'm saying is there are smarter ways to go about it."

He gave a slight nod. "I thought you wanted to find 'our people'." Bitterness dripped from his voice. "Now it's about Clarke? Your 'Princess'?"

Murphy stepped between us. "I don't care who we're finding as long as someone unties my hands."

I pushed Murphy aside. "That's right, my princess. Last time I checked you had a girlfriend." I chuckled without humor. "Oh, that's right. I slept with her, too." Even though I hadn't slept with Clarke I wanted Finn to think I had. How caveman of me, right? It irked me to no end to know he was her first.

Finn's hand flew out so fast I didn't see it coming as it knocked me back a few feet. "What'd you say to me?"

I charged him, knocking him to the ground. Finn taking the first punch was all I needed. Every flare of anger that I had in the past few days came out through my fists. Finn kicked me off of him far enough to get the drop on me.

"Guys, we really don't have time for this. Need I remind you, I'm a sitting duck." Murphy interjected, waving his trapped hands as much as he could.

Finn turned to Murphy long enough for me to punch right in the jaw. He fell over from the unexpected impact. "Why don't you ask Raven how it was? She was the one that came to me."

Monroe and Sterling pulled me off of him before it could go any further.

"Clarke would never fall for you." He spat. "She's not that stupid." He rose on shaky legs.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I pulled away from them.

"Murphy's right, we don't have time for this. We are sitting ducks right now." Monroe argued. "We need to go."

Finn pushed past us, his sole mission to find Clarke. I couldn't say if in his position I wouldn't be the same, but I wasn't. Clarke didn't want me. She wanted Finn. Out of the dozens of things I couldn't decipher about her that much I knew.

Hours later we still didn't have an actual plan. We were unprepared and it was reeking off all of us.

"How about we split up. We could cover more ground that way." I suggested. Honestly, I couldn't stand to be around Finn any longer. If Clarke was gone and this was my punishment I could do without Finn for a few hours.

"That's the only smart thing that's come out of your mouth all day." Finn turned to Monroe, Sterling, and Murphy. "Either you're following me or you're following him."

"I'll follow whoever unties me."

Finn frees him. "You guys coming or not?"

Sterling and Monroe looked at each other. "We're staying with Bellamy."

A sense of loyalty ran through me. Clarke would tell me it was because I inspired them when there was no hope. I knew better though. From the moment we landed here, it was only fear that we persuaded them to listen to me. As much as I wanted to believe Clarke's words I knew her intentions were pure. She didn't want me to run away like a coward. A smile crossed my lips.

"What's the plan?" Monroe asked.

"We look in the opposite direction. That's the best we can do."

After hours of nothing, I pointed out, "Keep your eyes peeled. It's been too quiet for too long."

Just then a spear shot Sterling in the chest, pinning him to a nearby tree. Monroe and I ran for cover. A spear nicked my arm before flying past me. Monroe groaned in pain. She was shot in the leg.

A familiar voice came from nearby. I couldn't understand what was being said, but I knew that voice. "Octavia?" I called out.

Her face came into view, slightly bruised and bloodied. Relief flooded me. She warned them off in whatever language they spoke. How did she learn to speak it so fast?

I rose to embrace her. Tears welled in my eyes. "I'm glad to see you." I hugged her tight.

She laughed as she squeezed back. "Nice to see you, big brother." She pulled away. "Where's everybody?"

"Finn and Murphy went to look for everyone. They're at Mount Weather."

"Why aren't you with them?"

"They kept fighting over Clarke." Monroe added as she tried to stand.

Octavia went to help her. She broke the longer part of the arrow off, then looked at me. Her brow suggestive. "What else is new?"

I gave her a look. "Where's Lincoln."

Her face darkened and I knew something had happened. "He's gone." She started walking with Monroe.

As much as I didn't want to see my baby sister hurt she was a tough girl. She tried to make peace with Lincoln's people. She learned how to fight, how to kill. She went up against Grounders and Reapers. Her she was in front of me looking like a Grounder. A tiny bit of happiness ran through me because she was okay. Now she was heading back in the direction we came from.

"Where are you going?"

"She needs to get medical help. I could dress her wound, but that's about it."

I walked beside her. "It'll take hours to get back to the Arc basecamp. She doesn't have that much time before she loses a lot of blood and infection sets in."

She spoke to the leader of the group she was with. The leader gave her a nod of approval before we set off. "I know a short cut."

"O, I need to look for our people. You can take Monroe back."

"Bellamy Blake, there's no way you're going to last in these woods at night by yourself. Look at you. You need food, you need rest. We can look for your princess tomorrow."

How do I know she'll be alive then?

"Relax. Clarke's a fighter. She can handle herself."

Her words rang true, but I needed to know for myself. How would Abby feel when I showed up empty handed? I would get a few hours of sleep, then I'd go out looking by myself. I wasn't afraid of some Grounders.

With what only felt like minutes the base camp came into view. Dread filled me. I didn't want to be a failure. I didn't want Abby looking at me with disappointment. The Guards spotted us then escorted us in. My hand clutched onto the watch I stashed in my front pocket as the Guard took my gun.

Abby came up to us. "You guys okay? Where are the others?"

"We broke off from Finn and Murphy. Sterling's dead. We came back because of Monroe's leg." I supplied, although I knew it wasn't good enough.

She nodded. "Get her to medical." She gave me a parting glance.

I locked eyes with Octavia. I was about to tell her I didn't need the rest, that I was going back out there when something knocked the breath out of me. Arms wrapped tightly around my neck. A sigh of relief came from the person. All I could see was long blonde hair. My body's reaction to her told me it had to be Clarke. My arms locked around her, pulling her even closer. I needed her to be closer. We swayed from side to side as I tried to remember everything about this moment because I didn't think I was going to get it again.

"Now there's something I thought I'd never see."

My mind flashed back to every argument, every battle, every feeling I've ever had about the girl. I let out a sigh of relief.

She let go way too soon for my liking to give Octavia a hug.

"I'm glad you're okay." Octavia told her.

"You, too."

The tactical part of my brain needed to know. "How many with you?"

"None. Where's Finn?"

My face fell. Whether because our people were still at Mount Weather or she was primarily concerned about Finn, I wasn't sure. I saw Raven looking around for him and I regretted my comment from earlier. She was a nice person and I degraded her to get at Finn.

I turned back to Clarke. "Out looking for you."

Her face fell.

We heard gunshots nearby as we searched for Finn and Murphy. It had to have been them. We were the only ones with guns. What we didn't expect was to find Finn holding the gun surrounded by dead Grounders. We moved looked around in disbelief.

Clarke moved forward in horror. Finn took a few steps to meet her but she backed away from him. A large part of me wanted to throw her over my shoulders and run far away from him, but she needed to come to whatever conclusion on her own. My hands gripped my gun in case he tried to hurt her.

He sighed in relief. "I found you."

She shook her head.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When I went to wake up Clarke the next morning the last thing I expected was to find her sprawled in her under wear. It wasn't just any ole sprawl, but one that stirred something primal in me. Throwing my lust aside I called out to her. "Clarke." No answer. "Clarke wake up." She muttered something. It was hard not to smile at her, all disoriented and sexy. A big part of me wanted to forget why I came in here and just lay with her, but I was certain she'd wake up and slap the shit out of me. Besides, if I wanted to lay beside her she'd be the one to initiate it. I touched her calf. "Wake your ass up, Princess. We've got work to do."

She shot up like a rocket. Maybe she had a nightmare. She realized I'd seen her without much clothing and I placed her blanket back on her. I couldn't hide my smirk at the blush on her face.

"We need to get a move on if we want to find the rest of our people." I turned around, giving her the privacy she needed. A big part of me longed for the day that there was no privacy between us.

"Right. Mount Weather." She laughed.

My back stiffened. A few hours I wasn't sure if I'd ever hear that laugh again. "What?"

"I was just thinking how different our lives would be right now if we were dropped on the right mountain. You wouldn't have had to step up as leader. None of us would've had to learn how to fight, how to kill. I wouldn't have fell for-"

My eyes bore into hers. "For Finn." I didn't say it as a question because I already knew the answer. How could she not see how I felt about her? I've wondered if she knew the whole time used that to her advantage.

She nodded.

I took her in. Even with the bruises and cuts and dirt she was still gorgeous. I thought back to the Arc and how she seemed prim and proper, but I knew there was deviancy underneath it all. When we landed part of me egged her on because I loved getting a rise out of her, but my need for survival outweighed whatever crush I harbored for her on the Arc.

She pushed past me. "We need Finn and Murphy. Raven can't help us out on this one."

It was like a slap in the face. After everything she saw she still choose him over me. "We don't need Finn."

She started to find him. "Yes, we do. I know he's not in the best condition right now, but maybe that's what we need."

"Clarke, we have Guards. We have other people."

"He can do this. I know he can."

"Clarke!" I grabbed her arm, pulling to me. A look of fear-no, shock-crossed her face. I scared her. That was the last thing I wanted to do. "We have other people." I said gently.

"Fine."

We headed to the Guards waiting for us. I could tell she was pissed at me, but I couldn't think about that right now. I had to pep up these guys. They've been down here for a few days and most of that has been behind the protection of the base camp with weapons. They didn't know what it was like for us.

My eyes found her baby blues. I had to rip them away for fear of throwing her onto my bed and having my way with her. "Clarke was held captive there. They're providing food, clothes, shelter for our people. They're not going to want to leave because they don't think of it as a prison. But when Clarke tried to leave the tried to kill her. She saw what they were doing to the Grounders, draining them of their blood. It's only a matter of time before they get around to our people. I don't know about you guys, but I want our people back."

They cheered, as ready as they could be for our trek. From the moment we left base camp I glued myself to Clarke's side. I lost her in the chaos once, I didn't want to go through that again. My body was fully aware of every step she took. Though beef-headed sometimes, I wasn't stupid. Clarke was still pissed at me.

"You have something to say, Princess?"

She shrugged. "No, it's just some things never change."

Was that a dig?

"Oh yeah, what's that supposed to mean?"

She wouldn't meet my eyes and it was frustrating as hell. "You're always inspiring people. You're always the rebel leader with a cause."

I couldn't fight the grin on my face. I still wasn't sure how she managed to paint into that light. Ever since we met all I've done are terrible things. "Is that a bad thing?" The sun kept catching the gold in her hair, distracting me to no end.

"No, it's sexy."

My eyes landed on her face. She looked shocked as hell that it came out her mouth. The redness in her cheeks proved my point, she hadn't meant to say it. "It looks good on you, too, Princess."

She looked up at me with those blue eyes at a loss for words. "Uh…"

I watched as she fell into what had to be a booby trap. Damn Grounders. My hand grabbed her forearm. There was no way I was letting her go. She looked up at me with scared eyes, then all of a sudden they weren't scared anymore, like she knew I would take care of her. Ironic, the last time we were in this situation she thought I wanted to kill her. All of it was hype so the others would follow me in fear.

I pulled her to me, not wanting to let her go. She felt so good against me. "Dammit, Princess." Dammit for making me want you, for you not wanting me, for you almost dying.

"It's your fault. You distracted me."

"I distracted you?" That was golden.

She wouldn't meet my eyes as the Guards checked her over. Abby would give them hell as the new Chancellor if Clarke came back banged up. She had yet to realize that there wasn't a day down here that went by where we didn't get banged up. The only difference between them and us was that we were used to it now. We expected it.

"Thank you."

Anger ebbed in me as I stalked away from her. How could I forget how we couldn't go long without arguing? It wasn't like she actually liked me. She respected me. She trusted me. That was it.

Octavia came from nowhere. "Trouble in Paradise?"

"Where'd you come from? I thought you were sleeping back at base camp."

She grinned in satisfaction. "Please, I've been following you since you left." She glanced behind us. "So what's going on between you and Clarke?"

I shrugged. "Nothing." Absolutely nothing.

"Please, you two reek of sexual tension."

My eyes widened. "Would you keep your voice down?" I glanced around us, my eyes finding Clarke walking about lost in thought. "What are you talking about?"

"Crazy's out of the picture. Man up, Bell."

My guess was that 'Crazy' was Finn. I wasn't quite sure Octavia was right about him not being in the picture anymore. Just this morning Clarke confirmed that she fell in love with him. Who's to say she still isn't? Did that mean I couldn't try? That I had to give up? No.

I cut my eye at O. A grin crossed my lips. "How are you so wise? I'm the big brother." My arm fell across her shoulders, pulling her to me.

She smiled. "All that testosterone got to you."

I laughed. "Probably."

I glanced back to check on everyone, finding Murphy next to Clarke. Jealousy coursed through me. What were they talking about? I forced myself to turn around or I'd be back there marking my territory.

"Calm down, Bell. Clarke's not that stupid. The way I see it, there's nothing stopping you from marching back there and laying one on her."

My eyes rolled. "That's not going to happen. We have people to save, I don't have time to woo Clarke." My mind went back to our interaction before she fell in the trap. Just because she said I was 'sexy' didn't mean she felt something for me beyond mutual respect. But there was that blush, then there was the way she talked to me. Whether she was reprimanding me or lifting me up it was with passion.

A sigh escaped me as I pinched my nose. "I can't do this right now."

"Fine." She stopped as I kept walking on. "Be a coward."

By nightfall we made it within a few miles of Mount Weather. It was easy to see from our campsite, but we were far enough away to retreat if we had to. We had a few Guards posted as most of everybody ate around the campfire. I knew I should eat, but right now food wasn't on my mind. My eyes fell on Clarke as I stood against a tree. The fire lit her golden blonde hair making it even more golden. She talked with Octavia, laughing, smiling, and looking every bit of desirable. On the Arc, I just had a stupid little crush on her. That was it. Down here, I wanted to get to know her. I wanted to please her, I wanted to be the one she came to when she had a problem and not a problem with. Finn beat me to it.

I lowered my gaze as I let out a small humorless laugh. She couldn't be all I thought about. There were more important things than Clarke Griffin. But I couldn't bring myself to care about them more than Clarke.

Needing a break, I pushed off the tree and headed for the woods.

"Where you going, Blake?" One of the Guards asked.

"For a walk. I wanted to do another sweep." When one of them tried to come with me I threw out, "By myself."

Shortly after I found a lake. All I wanted to do was listen to the water moving and the natural noises of the forest. My eyes drifted to the full moon surrounded by stars. How odd it is to be down here looking up when most of my life I was up there looking down.

"You mind if I sit?"

I turned to see Clarke with her hands in her jacket pockets, wearing an expectant grin. "You can do whatever the hell you want, Princess."

She sat a few inches from me, her body heat warming me right up. "We're back to that again? Doing whatever the hell we want?"

I thought back to when I was a really big dick. Probably still am, but at least now Clarke trusts me. "Not even close." I looked over at her. If I did whatever the hell I wanted I'd have you wrapped in my arms right now. "What are you doing out here?" Did she need some air too?

She propped her head on her knees as she looked at me. "I was a bitch earlier."

"I wouldn't go that far." I grinned.

She punched me in the arm. "Hey." Her smile made some of this all worth it. "I wanted to talk with you."

My heart pounded in my chest. Did she know?

"I didn't want to leave you when the Reapers came. They were telling me to close the door, but you were right there, getting beaten to a pulp." Her eyes looked moist in the moonlight. "Finn tried to help you, he did that for me. And then it was too late and I didn't have a choice." She wiped at the tears that slipped down her pale cheek. "I thought you were dead, Bell."

My heart squeezed at both the tears and her calling me by the nickname Octavia gave me when we were younger. I had no idea Clarke cared that much if I lived or died.

"It was all I could think about while I was at Mount Weather, besides escaping. I owe Finn for trying to save you, that's why I don't want to give up on him."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I said, "I've already forgiven you, Clarke."

She grinned through whatever was causing her pain. "I know, I just wanted you to know."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "That means a lot to me." I didn't know what that meant to her.

CLARKE'S POV

I felt like a weight lifted off my chest after I told Bellamy that I regretted how things went down. "Bellamy, what happened on the Arc?"

His dark eyes looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Nerves racked through me. What if Murphy was just messing with me? What if he said he never thought of me that way? Well, there was only one way to find out.

"Earlier Murphy told me to ask you about how you spent your time on the Arc. Do you know what he meant by that?"

I swear his olive skin turned pink. Was he blushing?

"Oh, he knew about…" He hesitated.

I gave him a look that encouraged him to go on.

"Murphy knew about my crush on you."

Now it was my turn to blush. "What?" I could help but laugh. Bellamy having a crush on me while we were on the Arc.

"Ouch, Princess."

"I'm not laughing at you, I promise. It's just weird."

He looked hurt. "That I'd have feelings for you?"

"What? No. I meant about the Arc. When we got here I assumed you wanted me dead with me being in the way of your master plan and all."

He chuckled. "I never wanted you dead, Princess."

"So what was it about me?"

"What do you mean?"

I looked at him expectantly. "I didn't know you then so why'd you have a crush on me?"

He huffed, probably feeling uncomfortable talking about this. "Honestly, I thought you were hot."

I couldn't help but laugh.

He joined in. "Among other things."

"You're not going to tell me what those other things are, are you?"

He shook his head.

"Once you got to know me I'm sure that went away."

"Who said it went away?"

The breath left out of me. Was he admitting to having feelings for me?

He stared down at my lips.

"Bellamy."

A rain drop hit me right on the forehead. I looked up just as rain started beating down heavily on us. Our eyes locked and broke out into laughter.

"Maybe we should get back." He suggested as he rose.

I nodded as he held out his hand for me. When I placed my hand in his warmth tingled up and down my body. He pulled me to him, not expecting us to slip and fall into each other, hitting our foreheads together.

"Ow." We groaned simultaneously.

Bellamy reached his hand over to survey my forehead. The feel of his fingers on my skin made me hyper aware of him. His eyes slid to mine. I wanted to move forward, to taste his lips, to feel his hands on my hips, but something stopped me.

He pulled away. "You need to get some sleep for tomorrow." He rose, helping me up.

I avoided his eyes. "You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself."

He stalked off. "Night, Princess."

I wanted to call out to him, but what would I say? That I was scared? That the last person I'd given myself to had totally screwed me over? Bellamy's track record with women has only been rising. I trusted him completely with my life, but with my heart? I wasn't so sure.


	3. Trying Not To Love You

CLARKE'S POV:

I groaned internally as I made my way through the thick darkness. Bellamy headed back, clearly frustrated with me. I knew I wasn't helping out with whatever was going on with us, but I had a right to pull back. Bellamy Blake wasn't exactly a romancer and from his many conquests one could gather he liked different flavors.

How had I dug myself into this hole? First Finn and now this. Maybe I should just give up on romance, it's distracting. Survival and peace are top priority. Not Bellamy Blake and his rebel hotness.

"Clarke." A voice whispered from above me.

Thinking it was a Grounder I drew my knife only to find Bellamy dangling in a trap. A laugh bubbled out of me. I couldn't help it.

"You think this is funny, Princess?"

I snorted a laugh as I tried to compose myself. "No, I'm-yeah! You've been an ass pretty much the entire time I've known you, so yeah this is a little funny."

"Fine, I deserve that. Just get me down. Who knows when the Grounders are going to be back?" He struggled, only making it worse.

Realizing his life was in danger I sobered up. "You're right." I jumped, but I wasn't tall enough to reach him. I backed up a few feet and ran to reach him, but I fell to the ground clutching the knife in my hand.

"Relax. You can do this, Clarke."

The fog horn rung its warning.

"We have time. Don't panic."

I backed up again and ran full force and propelled myself into the air. My fingers couldn't get a hold of the rope. A groan escaped me.

"It's almost here!" He warned. "Look at me."

Our eyes met. I didn't want him to see failure in mine. If I didn't get him down then we'd both die.

"You need to run," He demanded.

"What? You can't be serious."

"You can't cut me down and run for safety at the same time. We don't have time to argue about it."

Determined, I ran from where I came. I heard a gasp that had to be Bellamy's before I charged forward. He wasn't going to die today, not because I was weak.

When he saw me he yelled, "No, what are you doing?!"

"I'm not leaving you!" My fingers found holes, I eventually pulled myself up to cut a line through the trap.

Without warning, Bellamy pushed forward, sending us both falling to the ground. A sharp pain came from my leg. I looked at the source to find the makeshift knife sticking through my leg. "Ahhh!"

Her cursed, then picked me up and ran with me in his arms. I didn't know how he was able to keep speed and carry me at the same time, I wasn't as little as Octavia or Charlotte. Bellamy was strong, that much I knew.

"Hold on, Princess. We're going to make it."

My eyes fell on the fast approaching fog trailing behind us. "Bellamy, hurry!" My heart was already pounding out of my chest for close proximity reasons, but now our lives were very much in danger. My arms tightened around his neck, enjoying the warmth in this bitter, cold weather.

He groaned in pain as the fog closed in on us. He somehow ran faster, cutting across a path it hadn't hit. "There's some caves around here."

"No, we don't have time. There's an abandoned bunker through those trees." I pointed to where I meant.

He opened the latch, threw me on to his back before descending the stairs. We couldn't see a thing until our eyes adjusted to the new darkness.

"There should be candles all over the place. We just need to find something to light them with." I hobbled to the counter.

Bellamy lifted me up unexpectedly and set me on the couch. "You need to get off that leg, Princess."

A flick of anger coursed through me. "You know, I'm not some damsel in distress. I don't know why you insist on calling me 'Princess'. I'm not spoiled."

He lit a few candles with some old matches Finn and I found the last time we were here. He grabbed a blanket as he pulled a chair in front of me and sat down. "I've never seen you as a damsel, Clarke." His brown eyes met mine.

"Then why do you call me that all the time?"

A tiny grin touched his lips. "Maybe I thought of as a princess, Princess."

I tried to hide my smile as his hands grabbed my injured thigh. "Yeah, right." I bit back a cry as he yanked out the knife. "What's the real reason?"

"You don't want to know." He ripped a piece off the blanket and wrapped it around my wound. "That's the best I can do." His hands rested on my thigh, sending thrills all through my body.

My face felt flushed, I knew there was no way to hide it in the candlelight.

He winced.

"What?" I surveyed him, but couldn't find anything wrong. "What is it?"

"My back. I picked the wrong night to leave my jacket behind." He pulled the shirt over his head, revealing his…

"Abs for days." I muttered.

His eyes met mine. "What'd you say?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Oh, wipe that smirk off your face. You know you're hot."

He grinned. "What am I supposed to say to that?"

A laugh bubbled up in me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Let me look at your back."

He turned around in the chair, showcasing a few tiny blisters here and there.

I snorted a laugh. "You big baby, there's hardly anything here." I ran my hand down the planes of his muscled back, liking the contact too much.

"Doesn't mean I can't feel it."

My eyes stung. "Bellamy…"

"Clarke." He turned back around to face me. His eyes roamed over my face, understanding. "I know I'm not alone in this." His thumb reached out to wipe away a fallen tear. "Why are you crying?"

The tenderness in his voice only made it harder to stop crying. I wiped at my eyes and pulled myself together. "I can't afford to lose anyone else I care about." I searched his eyes, realizing how true this was. I may have been scared by Bellamy's past and experience, but that wasn't the only reason. "I care about you, Bellamy." My hand found his. "I just-I'm scared that whatever it is we have could jeopardize-why are you smiling?"

"You think I'm hot and that we have something?"

I tried to hide my smile. "Shut up, I'm trying to say my piece and you're distracting me. Again."

"I'm just smiling."

"Oh yeah?" I pointed to his toned muscles and face. "What's all that?"

His thumb and forefinger held my chin. "Clarke," He closed the distance between us, leaving a few inches of space. The heat lapped between us. "You're not the only one that's scared."

My eyes fell to his lips. Every reasoning I had slipped away as his lips gently fell on mine. An embarrassing sigh came from me.

He pulled away. "I had to do that once." His thumb ran over my lips as he pulled away.

There were no words. All I could was stare at him.

He rose from the chair, finally noticing the one thing I tried to avoid. "The fog's going to be a few hours, we're going to need our rest for tomorrow." When he see me eyeing it he said, "What's with the stink eye, Clarke?" He chuckled. "I'm not going to ravish you if that's what you're worried about."

I laughed despite my nerves. "That's not what-that's not it." I cleared my throat, afraid of his reaction. "This is where Finn and I, uh…" I blew out a heavy breath. "We-"

"Here?"

Our eyes met. I nodded before looking anywhere but his eyes.

"Hey, I hate when you don't look at me." He kneeled in front of me.

I huffed. "You make me nervous."

He chuckled. "Given our history I find that highly unlikely." His hands grabbed my waist, making me gasp at the contact when he picked me up and laid me on the bed. "We can make new memories." He grinned before turning to rummage through the boxes and cabinets. "Cards?" He held up a deck.

"You have me in a bed and you want to play cards?" I asked amused.

His brow rose. "You up for other activities, Princess?"

I grinned as I took in his chest again. "Maybe."

A rueful smile played on his lips. "If I thought you were, we'd be having a different conversation." He sat beside me, emptying the cards onto the bed. "What do you want to play?"

BELLAMY'S POV:

"What are you smiling about, Bell?" Octavia asked me as I sat down next to her.

Was I smiling? I was just thinking about that blonde girl I saw punch the daylights out of this perv that grabbed her ass. I didn't know who she was, but I kept seeing around. The Arc was big, I didn't know everyone.

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"You little liar." Octavia teased as she poked my side.

I grinned at her. "Knock it off. Let's go over History. Mom said you barely passed the last test she gave you."

A few months later

John Murphy sat in front of me at the cafeteria with a devious glint in his eyes, blocking my view of the girl.

"Need something, Murphy?"

"Just looking to have a good time, Bellamy."

My eyes narrowed at him. "I'm not into dudes, Murphy."

He laughed. "Good, neither am I. I was talking about a party. I know you're training to be a Guard and all, but I heard you know where I can get some medicinal fun."

My mind went to Jasper and Monty. They took some special herbs from the garden sometimes, but they never got caught because they always replaced it. I didn't feel the need to turn them in mainly because they were my friends – sort of – and they always replaced what they took. No harm no foul.

"Why are you asking me? Like you said, I'm training to be a Guard." My eyes went back to the girl as she rose with a black guy.

Murphy turned to see what had caught my attention. He grinned. "You got the hots for Clarke? I hope not Wells."

"That's her name?" I kept calling her princess in my head. There was something about her prim and proper outside that made her regal. That hair, it reminded me of spun gold.

He gave me a look. "How are you apart of the Guard and you don't know royalty when you see it?" He pointed to the girl he called Clarke. "That's Clarke Griffin, her parents are the nurses, and that's Wells Jaha, as in Chancellor Jaha's son."

"Shit."

When we were training I never saw her. Thinking about it, Wells did look familiar.

"You're never tapping that. Wells has been doing his time with that one. I picture a wedding in a few years." He took a sip of his drink. "What? You think you have a shot with her?"

No, I didn't.

I rose.

"Hey, you gonna help me out or not?" He called after me.

"Not."

A grin passed my lips as I watched Clarke yawn. "Sleepy, Princess?"

"No, we can keep playing." She fought to keep her eyes open.

I wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her to my chest, careful not to hit her injured leg. I pulled the covers over us. Her body was rigid. I could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Now, I'll never get to sleep."

I grinned. "Relax, Princess. No funny business, I swear."

After a few moments her heart calmed down, most of the tension left her body as she wrapped her arms arm around mine. "Thanks." Her voice barely above a whisper.

"For what?"

"For giving me a better memory of this place."

My heat skipped a beat. "You know, you're making this really hard."

"Please tell me you're not talking about your…you know what?"

I laughed. "No, but I don't want to speak too quickly."

"Then what did you mean?" The amusement was clear in her voice.

"Just trying not to love you."

She gasped as her body froze. "Bellamy…"

"You don't have to say anything, Clarke. What I've been feeling for you has gone on longer than our time spent down here, remember?"

Her fingers slid between mine. "Bellamy?"

"Yeah?"

"You're my best friend."

The weight of what she said brought unexpected tears to my eyes. What was a best friend? Someone who you cared about unconditionally. Someone you bickered with, but forgave five minutes later. Someone who had your back no matter what. Someone who completely challenged you. Someone who made you laugh and smile. Someone who made you glad you were alive. Someone you couldn't imagine not having in your life.

I realized that I had all of that with Clarke. "You're my best friend, too."

"Night, Bellamy."

I kissed the top of her head. "Night, Clarke.


	4. Breathe

The song for this chapter is Matt Corby - Breathe   
CLARKE'S POV:

I rolled over to find the bed empty.

"Clarke." Bellamy's strained voice came from nearby. There was something wrong.

My eyes found Tristian holding a spear between him and Finn. My heart jumped out of my chest as I rose from the bed.

"Tristian, you don't have to do this." Tears stung my eyes. "Look, we had to fight back. Your people would've done the same thing."

There was a look of betrayal in Finn's eyes, he assumed Bellamy and I had slept together. Bellamy's held something else; understanding, respect, yearning, regret, and maybe love.

"Chose."

"What? I can't-"

"Chose!" He spat.

"I can't!"

My eyes went to Bellamy. I regretted so much; not telling him how I felt sooner, not being with him last night. When I looked at Finn I saw that the betrayal turned to sorrow in his eyes. He mouthed that he was sorry. I nodded in forgiveness.

Bellamy fell to his knees with the spear in his chest.

"No!" I cried. My chest felt hollow as I scrambled to him. His struggled to breathe as blood spilled from his mouth. My hand caressed his face. "How could you?" I screamed at Tristian.

Just as I spoke he cut Finn's throat from ear to ear. Finn dropped to the ground, clutching at his bloodied throat.

All the air escaped me as Tristian turned to leave as if none of this affected him. I looked at Finn dead on the floor. My eyes went back to Bellamy. He was gone.

"No." I shook him, careful not to move the spear. "Look at me." I begged. His words came back to me. This is all on you, Princess. You should've kept your mouth shut. My other hand gripped his shaggy black hair. "You of all people can't leave me."

"What the hell is this?" A familiar voice yelled, stirring me awake.

"How'd you find us?" Another familiar voice asked.

"What happened to her leg?"

"She fell with a knife in her hand. Keep your voice down. She's resting."

My vision blurred I called out. "Bellamy?"

My thoughts worked back to my dream. Relief washed through me. It was just a dream.

Bellamy sat in front of me on the bed. Concern in his eyes. "You okay, Princess?"

My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him to me. Worry still sat in the pit of my stomach. I lost him. But it was just a dream.

"Bad dream?" He guessed.

I winced as I tried to stand. How'd I forget about my leg? In the dream my leg wasn't a problem.

My eyes went to Finn as my hand grabbed Bellamy's shoulder. Once again relief flooded through me. A smile crossed my face. They were alive.

Finn walked over. "Hey." He said awkwardly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I can't sit cooped up for that long. I need to help you guys. I want our friends back just as much as you do."

"I thought it was just Clarke you were worried about." Bellamy bit out.

I gave him a look. Now was not the time to do the whole love triangle thing. We have people to save.

"Finn, have you been to camp? Did you see any casualties?"

He shook his head. "No, I came straight here after the fog hit."

Bellamy and I shared a look. "We need to go back." He said. He helped me up and outside.

I breathed in the fresh air. It felt good to be outside again. Then Bellamy set me down and it became hard to walk. He moved to pick me up again, but I backed up into Finn on accident.

"You go ahead. Finn and I'll catch up."

His brown eyes met mine. Unmistakable hurt was etched on his face.

How could I make him understand that I wasn't choosing Finn over him? I trusted Finn before I trusted Bellamy, but then I trusted Bellamy when I didn't trust Finn. Things just got so complicated and I didn't know how to stop the melodrama.

"My leg is slowing us down." I huffed. "Bellamy, you have to check on Octavia."

He eyed Finn. "Octavia can take care of herself."

"That's true, but you should go check on the others. We're right behind you, I promise." I gave a nod in good faith. I would be okay with Finn. He wasn't going to hurt me. He couldn't anymore.

Bellamy nodded before running ahead of us. A big part of me wish I were running with him.

It seemed like forever that Finn and I walked in silence. Nature was our background noise and it was eerily quiet.

"So are you guys together now or what?" He blurted out rudely.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know, Clarke?"

I huffed. "Bellamy and I are friends, okay?"

"And you sleep with all of your friends?"

I stopped in my tracks. "What the hell is wrong with you, Finn?"

"What's wrong with me is that you and I are supposed to be together."

"Yeah, and who messed that up?" I walked away from him, as far as I could with a bum leg.

He walked beside me. "I thought we were over the whole Raven thing."

I scoffed. "Raven thing? You cheated on her with me. You slept with me knowing there was a chance she'd make it down here." Tears stung my eyes, but I pushed them back. "You don't know how much you hurt me."

"Clarke, that's not fair."

"What wasn't fair was me finding out like I did!" I groaned. "Whatever." I scanned the trees. "I'm not mad at you." I locked eyes with him. "I'm worried that if something happens to me you'll go for the Grounders again."

He rubbed his eyes. "That was a mistake. I was stressed out and tired. I had to find you."

"You don't just murder people on mistake. You need help."

He gave a sour laugh. "So you want to get me out of the way so you can be with Bellamy, huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You slept with him!" He spat.

It was becoming increasingly hard to control my anger. "Last night we didn't do anything."

His eyes had a crazy glint. "Then when?!"

I paced ahead. "I don't even know you anymore." I gave a humorless laugh. "I guess I never did."

"Don't avoid the subject. Bellamy said he was with you just like he was with Raven."

My heart thumped in my chest. "He what?" He slept with Raven? He said we slept together? When? Why?

"You didn't know?"

Words escaped me. "I-"

"So you didn't? Or you didn't know about Raven?"

I ran my hands through my hair. "I don't know what you want me to say. I didn't sleep with Bellamy." I stalked off.

"Wait…Clarke?"

"I didn't sleep with him, Finn!" I yelled.

Tears pricked my eyes. There had to be an explanation. I trusted Bellamy to not hurt me. He wouldn't say something like that, not about me.

As we walked back, Finn kept his distance. I was glad. When we got back to camp everything was packed, but there were two guards on the ground. Octavia and Bellamy were talking to the rest of the guards while Murphy just sat on the ground. They looked up at our presence.

Octavia ran up to me. "Bell said you were injured and with Finn. Both of those aren't too good." She eyed Finn carefully as she pulled me into a hug. "Thank you for saving my brother."

I gave a smile. "It was my pleasure."

Finn walked over to everyone else.

She smirked. "I bet."

"Oh, God." I laughed. "Octavia, no." I shook my head.

"No?" Her brown eyes narrowed.

"No. We're just friends." Even as I said it I didn't believe it.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, "Princess"." She mocked her brother.

I nodded to the bodies. "Fog?"

"Yeah. We tried to save them, but it was too late. The other guards want to bury them, but we don't have the time." She went back to everyone as Bellamy came to me.

His dark eyes looked worried. "What's wrong?"

I pushed past him to talk to the others. "I know you all want to honor our people, but we don't have time to spare. They're dead and I'm sorry about that, but the rest of the hundred could still be alive. Every minute we waste on burying these guards the hundred could be picked off. If you want to stay, good luck finding your way back to the basecamp before a Grounder finds you."

"So we just leave them?" A guard asked.

"We don't have a choice." Bellamy stepped in. "Clarke's right." He shot me a glance. "They're already dead. We need to head out now."

Regardless if I was ticked off at him, his rebel leadership still was a sight to behold. "I mentally smacked myself as I stared at his butt. Come on, Clarke.

The guards carried what little we had. They weren't trained in combat, but in gunhandling. Sometimes that wasn't enough to handle the Grounders.

Bellamy grabbed my forearm, turning me into him. His dark eyes held burning curiosity. "What happened between you and Finn?"

I pulled my arm away. "Nothing, geez."

"Then what's wrong with you?" He almost begged.

Part of me knew that he told Finn he slept with me as soon as I saw him. I just knew it. Sure, I wanted to know the truth, but I also wanted Bellamy to tell me what had happened and why'd he lie about something like that.

No matter how big and brown his eyes were I wasn't about to make this easy for him. If he was my best friend then he'd prove it to me.

"I'm fine." I didn't try to hide my anger.

BELLAMY'S POV:

Clarke was no doubt pissed off at me, but I had no idea what I did. Maybe she was just tired of being manhandled by Finn and I.

I looked away from Clarke to meet Octavia's confused eyes. She gestured towards Clarke in question. I shrugged. I don't know, I mouthed. Octavia slapped her forehead. I wasn't sure why, but Octavia really wanted me to be with Clarke. Now that Clarke knew about the crush I harbored on the Ark, things felt different. Especially because she admitted to feeling things for me and that kiss. God, that kiss. I didn't mean to but those blue eyes and pink lips were right in front of me, lit by candle light.

I groaned out of frustration. Clarke cut her eyes at me. I'm not going to lie, Clarke scared me half the time, but I liked that.

There was a limited speed she could walked, we both knew that. I didn't care how slow she walked I wasn't leaving her side, even if she seemed ready to bite my head off.

OCTAVIA'S POV:

Whatever happened between Bell and Clarke was surely Bell's fault. No even a few minutes ago she seemed fine with him, now they were at each other's throats again. It was an endless cycle, I swear. Whatever the case, I needed to talk to her. Bell was down here because of me and besides I wanted my big brother to be happy.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Murphy asked as he walked beside me.

"Huh?" I almost tripped over a root, but corrected myself. "What's a penny?" I said more to myself than him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I heard my dad say it to my mom a while back."

"I don't really care, Murphy. I don't want to talk to you."

Finn headed our way. As much as I hated Murphy for trying to kill my brother, I hated him less than Finn.

I grabbed Murphy's arm and pulled him back. "On second thought, explain it to me."

He stared behind us and chuckled. "Wow, you must really hate Finn, huh?"

I glared at Murphy. "Don't flatter yourself, John."

His face hardened. "You know, I did what I had to do to survive. We've all done something."

He had a point. I was willing to slit a Grounder's throat in order to get Lincoln back. Luckily, I didn't have to.

"Yeah, well…you didn't have to go after Charlotte or my brother."

He huffed. "You're right. I'm an ass, but so is Bellamy." He took in my expression. "Look, no one here has a sibling besides you two. We don't know what that's like."

I shrugged. "That doesn't change the fact you tried to kill my brother, Murphy."

"Yeah, it doesn't. But he tried to kill me, too."

"Why are you talking to me?"

He eyed me as if I was stupid. "You're the fastest to piss Bellamy off." He glanced in their direction. "Besides Clarke."

I chuckled despite myself. "You're just talking to me to piss him off?"

"Well, that and you're hot. But I'm glad that you admire my work, little Blake."

I stopped walking for a moment. "Don't call me that. Got it?"

He smirked. "Whatever you say."

We walked in silence for a while.

He tripped on a root, but I caught him before he could fall.

"Thanks."

I ignored him.

"Don't you want to know why I'm down here with the rest of you?"

"Not really." I looked for Bell.

He was watching me and Murphy with an intense stink eye.

CLARKE'S POV:

"What is he doing?" Bell spat out.

I looked back at him to see his jaw clenched and his eyes hard. He was looking at Octavia talking with Murphy.

"They're just talking."

He headed over, his gun ready.

"Woah," I grabbed his arm, careful not to swing the gun in my direction.

"What do you think you're doing?"

His eyes met mine with a fierce intensity. They softened just a fraction. "Things aren't like they used to be, Bell. You can't just kill Murphy because he talked to Octavia."

His brow arched. "I wasn't going to kill him. Just shoot him a couple times."

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "Whatever you're planning to do will only slow us down and tell the Grounders where we're at."

He lowered his gun. "Whatever you say, Princess." He marched off in front of me.

"Hey," I headed for him. "Okay, you win. Go shoot him." I demanded.

He wouldn't look my way.

"You know, you're not as tough as you want everyone to believe."

He continued in silence.

How had the situation reversed? I was the one that's supposed to be mad at him. Whatever the case, now was not the time to talk about our personal problems.

"What do you mean we lost him? One of the guards said.

My attention turned to them, doing a head count. "Shit."

Bellamy and I locked eyes. He stepped forward. "Hey, listen up." He walked closer to the crowd. "We are in their territory and-"

"Whose territory?" A Guard asked.

"The Grounders." He shouted.

"If one of us is missing that means they're after us."

We all looked around.

Octavia and Murphy ran toward us. "I can blow the fog horn, scare them away." Octavia reached for the horn.

"If they're watching us they'll know it was you." He told her.

"We have to run." I suggested.

"To where? We're in their territory, its booby trapped to hell!" He looked at me.

"We don't have a choice."

"What are you talking about?" Another Guard asked.

"Everyone be careful. We have to run. Keep your eyes peeled. There are booby traps everywhere. The Grounders like to hide in the trees. They have spears and knives. They will kill you."

To prove his point a spear came out of nowhere, pinning a Guard to a tree. The Guards freaked out.

"Run!" Murphy yelled, tugging Octavia with him.

I tried, but my leg slowed me down. "Bellamy!"

He looked back and understood. He cursed, then pushed us both to the ground and dropped on top of me, acting as my shield.

"What are you doing?" I shouted.

"Keep quiet. Maybe they'll think we're dead."

As unlikely as that may be that wasn't what I was focused on; Bellamy's warm body pressed against mine. His rough hands cradled my head to his chest. His heart practically beat out of his chest. He groaned as I felt his body jump. He'd been hit.

"Bellamy, where were you hit?"

No response.

"Bell?"

"I'm fine. Just in the back, which is still sore."

I held onto him, hoping by some miracle we'd be able to catch up to the others. My mind quickly went to Octavia and even Murphy, sending silent prayers their way.

Bellamy was yanked up by his jacket. He groaned in pain as the Grounders came into view. Another pulled me to my feet. My eyes never left Bellamy's.

"We're trying to save our people from the mountain men." I told them, not really sure if these particular Grounders spoke English or not.

Apparently, if they did they didn't care because they knocked me in the head and the last thing I saw was Bellamy's worried expression.

I woke with a bad taste in my mouth. My head throbbed as my eyes flickered open. "What?" My eyes adjusted to the darkness. Another body laid haphazardly on the hard ground a few feet away from me. "Where the hell?"

The previous events played in my mind. Bellamy. I took in the dark curly hair and Ark clothes. "Bellamy." I crawled to him, ignoring the pain in my leg as the worry set in. I didn't want to think it, but what if he was gone? The arrow was gone from his back. My hands went to lift his shirt to check for wrapping, but he flinched awake, pulling away from me. "Bell, it's me."

"Princess?" He groaned.

A bead of happiness filled me. "Yeah." I grinned.

Ever since we talked the other day my heart pounded when he called me princess.

He tried to turn, but with his wounds I wouldn't allow it. "You need rest and heal."

He turned to face me anyway. "No, I need to see you." His dark eyes scanned me. He grinned at the blush in my cheeks. How the hell he saw it in his darkness was beyond me. His hand reached up to touch my cheek. "You okay?"

My skin tingled under his touch. With a shaky breath, I said, "Yes."

He gave a small grin. "That's good."

My mind went back to when Murphy infected the camp and how Bellamy looked when he asked if I was okay. My heart fluttered.

"What are we doing here? What do they want with us? Why not kill us?"

Just then a Grounder threw a knife in our prison, then left. Bellamy and I shared a look.

"They can't be serious." He muttered.

So we waited in silence for what felt like hours in the dark and cold while nothing happened. Our stomachs growled, but we were used to the hunger. Finally, I grabbed the knife and gave it to Bellamy.

He looked at the knife then met my eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure you see Octavia again."

His eyes grew darker. "What? I'm not killing you just to see my sister again."

I shoved the knife in his hand. "Take it. This may be your only chance to leave."

He knocked the knife out of my hand. There was definitely anger in his eyes. "What's wrong with you? Why are you so hell bent on me killing you?" He all but growled at me.

"Because you came down here to save your sister. I don't want to stand in the middle of that."

"Clarke-"

"If Octavia dies while we're in here, I'm scared you'll never forgive me." My voice cracked.

His eyes softened. "Hey, I wouldn't do that."

"Well, someone has to make it out of here. My leg is still injured so I can't run if I need to. But you can help get our people back. You can lead them."

"Clarke, stop it. I'm not killing you and I'm not leaving you. I can't."

Tears sprung to my eyes. "You have to get over that. They're not going to let both of us leave."

"Like hell their not." He spat.

"Whatever your plan is don't get yourself killed. I can't do this without you."

Unmistakable anger passed in his eyes. "So you were going to let me do this without you?!" He turned away from me, groaned in pain.

"Something has to be done. We're wasting time."

He didn't say anything for a while. Maybe he fell asleep or maybe he was just that mad.

BELLAMY'S POV:

How could she even think for a moment that I'd be okay with her offing herself for my sake? I was so angry I wanted to shake some sense into her, but I couldn't ever be that aggressive towards Clarke. I loved her. I mean, I think that this was what love felt like. I thought about Clarke just as much as Octavia, I worried about her the same. The only difference was with Octavia, it was in my DNA to care for her. With Clarke it was something else entirely. Thinking about her not being by my side for however long we had left on this planet was unbearable. People say it's better to have known then lost than to not have known, but with Clarke…If I was going to lose her I didn't want to know her at all.

She hadn't spoken for a while. Hopefully she was regretting her idiotic plan.

"I hope someday you forgive me."

There was something in her voice that made me turn. A protest caught in my throat as I witnessed her cut her throat. Blood oozed out endlessly. Her crystal blue eyes held mine until life drained out of her. All the air in my body left me. "No."

I stood to my feet, in shock. My eyes locked on the bloodied blade in her pale, lifeless hand. Tears sprung to my eyes as I fell into a crouch. "No." I grabbed the knife, twirled it in my hand. "NO!" I yelled, stabbing the knife into the ground. "You can't be dead." I fell to my knees. "You can't leave me."

I loudly gasped awake. My eyes searching for Clarke.

"Are you okay?" She surveyed me, the knife in hand.

I yanked it out of her hand and threw it clean across the room, then pulled her into a hug.

She hugged me back. "What's wrong? Bad dream?"

I took in her scent. Even sweaty and dirty she still smelled feminine. My eyes found hers. "You're alive, that's all that matters."

"What are you talking about?" She tried to hide her laugh.

"I'm in love with you, Clarke."

All traces of her laugh were gone as she stared at me with those big doe eyes. She could tear a man down with those eyes. "What?"

"You heard me."

She started to tear up as her face crumbled.

"What's wrong? Do you hate me that much, Princess?" I pulled her into a hug, ignoring my back yelling at me. I made sure to prop her leg up.

She shook her head on my chest.

"Then what?"

"I'm scared." She tried not to shake, but her body gave away her trembles. "What if we don't make it out of this one? What if one us isn't around anymore? I can't tell you I love you then lose you, I just can't."

My arms squeezed her harder. "So you are in love with me?"

"I hate you." She tried not to laugh.

I grinned. "Well, then I hate you to, Princess."


	5. Leave Your Lover

OCTAVIA'S POV:

One of the Guards was speared by the Grounders.

"Run!" Murphy yelled.

Panic settled in. My eyes went to Bell and Clarke until a hand pulled me along and my feet picked up. I glanced at Murphy for a brief second as we ran for our lives. I heard Clarke call out Bellamy's name. I turned to see them staring at each other and then Bell covered Clarke with his body.

"Octavia, we have to go." Murphy yanked me from my stance forcefully.

I pulled my arm away. "Get off of me!"

After a few minutes of running no one else was speared. Murphy and I panted as we looked at each other. "Are we in the clear?" He asked, as if I knew the answer.

I shrugged as I looked at the tree line.

"Do we need to keep running?" A guard asked.

"It can't hurt." Another said.

"Where? For all we know we're running in circles."

"Keep your voices down." Murphy demanded.

I huffed. "We're not running in circles."

A Guard got huffy. "How do you know? How do we know we can trust you? You lived under the floor your whole life and you're infatuated with a Grounder!"

Murphy aimed his gun on him. "Come again?" It was Murphy's twisted way of trying to be noble, I guess.

My hand lowered his gun. Who gave him a gun anyway? I think it was Bell…What had he been thinking? Maybe it was only a matter of time before he turned full Finn. Bell would surely kill him then.

"Apologize!" He threatened as he raised his gun again.

The other Guards raised their guns at Murphy. "Put it down, Murphy."

"Hey," I called their attention to me. "We don't have time for this. We're still in their territory."

Murphy looked at me. "Why don't we hide in your boyfriend's cave? It's not like he's using it at the moment."

I rolled my eyes. "Dick." I turned to the others. "We don't have time. Why don't you all get that? We can't stop."

"What about Bellamy and Clarke?" A Guard asked.

There was no part of me that could entertain the thought of Bell being dead. I needed my brother, even though he could be a selfish dick half the time, the other half he was worrying about me.

"They can take care of themselves."

"What do you mean they can take care of themselves? Jones was speared to a freaking tree! How could they be alive?"

"We've been down here for months. We know how to take care of ourselves."

They pfft'd in unison.

"Okay tough guys. Murphy and I will go to Mount Weather. Everyone else can go back to basecamp. Good luck finding your way back if the Grounders don't get you first or booby traps."

Murphy met my eyes and smirked. "Give us the guns."

There was no need for more than two guns for us, but we had nothing in the beginning.

"Yeah," I grinned at Murphy for a moment. "We had to make it without guns for a month. You guys can do it. Oh, don't forget to steer clear of water what with the giant snake and all, learned that the hard way." I tried not to lose my serious composure.

Murphy chuckled as he crossed his arms. "Go ahead."

They all hesitated, they knew they needed us to survive out here. Murphy and I raised our brows at each other in amusement.

"No takers?" He asked.

"That's what I thought." I concluded.

Murphy leaned into my space. I leaned back. "What are you doing?"

His blue eyes held amusement. "Relax, I'm not trying to kiss you."

I still couldn't relax. His close proximity made me feel flushed. "Then what are you doing?"

"We need to get rid of them. They're dead weight."

What he said made sense, but they needed us. "We can't just leave them. They'll die."

"Why are you defending them?" A moment ago they were ready to kick you out of the group because of Lincoln." He rationalized.

"What's wrong with you?"

His forehead creased. "I'm not going to let us die or get captured again because they just got here."

"Us? Why do you care so much about saving me? You know I hate you, right?"

"Don't do that."

My brow arched. "Huh?"

"Don't try to make this into something it's not." His cheeks burned red, by the looks of it he wasn't happy about it.

"You have a little crush? Its okay, Murphy. It's creepy, but it's not the worst."

"Shut up." He headed towards the Guars with irritated eyes and a blooming blush.

Wait? Did he really have a crush on me? No way. I refuse to believe that. He was a psychopath… But he wasn't always this way. He couldn't have been.

As we ran to flee the territory he kept glancing back at me. I wanted to flip him off, but that was a bit childish.

"Hey," A Guard strode by me as we slowed to a run. "Greg." He grinned. He was handsome, but had nothing on Lincoln.

"Yeah?" I questioned.

His grey eyes were skeevy. "So you and a Grounder, huh?"

I gave him a look. "What's your point?"

He grinned like a cat. "You into that rough stuff?"

I sort of gasped and scoffed at the same time before putting some distance between us.

"How old are you anyway?" He eyed my body and suddenly I couldn't have enough clothes on. My arms covered my chest uncomfortably as I ignored him.

"Whoa." He said. "Chill out. I was just talking to her."

I turned back to see Murphy holding a gun at him. I groaned. Not again.

"No, you were trying to hit on an underage girl, who happens to be sixteen."

"So you're going to shoot me for talking to her? That isn't a crime and if you kill a Guard you'll be floated so fast."

Okay, psychopath or not Murphy seemed to have made a habit of trying to help me. He was probably doing it to get on Bell's good side. Though I was sure it would take a whole lot more for Bellamy to forgive Murphy for what he did.

"Murphy, for the last time quit it before you get yourself killed."

His blue eyes met mine. There was a flicker of something recognizable amongst anger before he turned back to Greg. I really wanted to know what his deal was, but connecting with him wasn't a part of the plan.

He marched off without another glance my way.

"Thank you." I said only to be met by silence.

It was almost dark, which meant we needed to set up camp soon. Murphy didn't acknowledge me as I walked beside him. "Hey." I flicked his arm, bringing his eyes to mine. "I said thank you earlier, you know."

He looked ahead. "Yeah, whatever."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Just leave me alone, alright?"

I rolled my eyes. "Is this about earlier? Because I didn't ask you to do that. Hell, I don't even like you, but I did appreciate it. But I can fend for myself, don't ever think that I can't."

He turned those sinister eyes on me. "Got it." He headed in a different direction.

"Where are you going?" I called.

"Don't worry about it."

I huffed. Great.

We set up camp or I set up pretty much everything as the Guards watched me. I kept meeting Greg's eyes uncomfortably. His gaze made my skin crawl. I gave a humorless laugh. If it was just Bell, Clarke, Murphy, and I we would've been there by now. We knew the shortcuts, well I did thanks to Lincoln. We knew these woods a whole lot better than they did. They were slowing us down, Murphy was right. If I knew there was a chance they'd make it back in one piece I'd slip away when they were all sleeping to go look for Mount Weather myself.

My thoughts went to Bell and Clarke as I gazed up at the starry sky. They had to be alive. I couldn't go on without them. All I'd have left was Raven and Murphy and that'd suck big time. I wasn't very partial to Raven, but she continued to help keep us alive. For a moment, I thought she'd be a problem with Bell, but it was just a passing thing. He had found what I found with Lincoln with Clarke. If he'd just grow a pair and fess up already then things between them would be gravy. Lincoln…he was all I had without everyone else. If something happened to him then I'd really be screwed.

"Where's Murphy?" A guard asked.

I shrugged then started into the distance. If I do say so myself I came pretty far from chasing Butterflies to kicking Grounder ass. Speaking of Grounder ass, Lincoln had a nice one. I chuckled to myself.

"What's so funny?" Greg asked.

I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough. "Don't you have some other innocent girls to scam on?"

His grin faltered, but only a little. "You're hardly innocent."

I walked away from him, but he followed. "I'm taken." I threw over my shoulder. "I'm not the girl you're looking for."

"I don't see this Grounder around, do you?"

I walked faster. "Go back to camp. It's not safe out here."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. That grin much like a cat's produced a bead of panic in my stomach.

"Seriously, take a hint guy." I yanked my hand away.

His demanding hands yanked my waist to him, exposing his manhood to me. His body pressed heavily on mine as I tried to get away, but he was far stronger than me. I punched him in the jaw and I felt my hand crack. One of his hand held mine above my head as the other squeezed my chest.

"No." I cried out. "Please, don't do this."

He was pulled from me. Relief flooded me as I spot Murphy. He rammed Greg to the ground and started punching the crap out of him. Greg got him in the stomach, he sneered with a busted lip. He glared at me as he rose.

"Now you've done it."

Fear spiked in me. This guy had about thirty pounds on Murphy who had twenty or more on me.

"Please."

Tears spilled from my eyes. I wanted my big brother.

Murphy knocked Greg's feet from under him, knocking him to the ground. "You piece of shit." Murphy kicked him in the side. "You apologize to her."

"Fuck you." Greg spat out blood.

Murphy was on him so hard I was sure he'd kill him.

"Murphy! Stop, you're going to kill him!"

He glanced back at me with those sadistic blue eyes and they softened for a few moments before returning it to danger blue. "What do you think he's going to do, Octavia? Stop?"

Greg groaned in pain. I underestimated Murphy's ability to fight, which I shouldn't have because he had to go through torture…something none of us had to experience. I both loathed and respected Murphy with equal measure as of late. Well, as of today. Maybe I already respected him for what he endured, but it doesn't changed the fact that he tried to kill my brother. That was unforgivable. But I couldn't look past the fact he pulled me out of harm's way three times today. What the hell was my problem today that I needed to be saved by Murphy?

Murphy fell to the ground as Greg bled out on the ground. Blue eyes found mine, but they weren't really seeing them.

"It had to be done." He groaned as he clutched his side.

"No, it didn't. We could've banished him!" I yelled.

"Yeah and he would've came back like I did!" He rose. "He tried to rape you, Octavia! Sexual assault is a capital offense, I wasn't going to let him live with what he'd done!"

My composure crumbled. I fell apart. I just wanted my brother and Lincoln.

After a few moments Murphy patted my shoulder awkwardly. "There, there."

Once I pulled myself together, I said, "You're terrible at comforting someone." My good hand wiped my eyes as I clutched the other to my chest.

"Sorry, I'm a little out of practice, little Blake." His hands wrapped around my shoulders as he helped me to my feet. His eyes ran over my face, focusing on each feature for a few moments.

Despite myself, my face felt hot. There was no way he could see that in this darkness though.

His eyes flickered back up to mine. "You okay?" Sincerity hung in his voice.

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Let's get back to camp." His hands slid down my arms, creating an endearing warmth that was quickly followed by cold.

"Okay."

We walked in silence and it was the most awkward silence in my life. There was something that needed to be said before it became a problem. I turned to him to find him watching me. Earlier today I would've found that creepy, but now I saw it for what it really was.

"Murphy," I started.

There was no easy way to tell someone that you don't want them having feelings for you. Granted, all of my flings have been on Earth for a few months, I still knew the heartache.

"Octavia." He smirked.

I found the corners of my mouth turning up into a grin, then I organized them back to normal. "Look, I really do appreciate everything you've done for me today, but-"

"But you don't want it to go any further."

My brow furrowed. "How'd you know what I was going to say?"

He wiped at his nose. "Look, I like you. That much is obvious. I know you're with Lincoln and you're Bellamy's sister, but I like you." There was nothing sadistic or sinister in his eyes now.

My mouth went dry as my pulse pounded in my ears. "I…"

"Trust me, I know how you feel about me. It's not hard to guess. All I'm asking is for you to keep your options open."

There were no words. We came into view of the camp. I realized something important; I was more comfortable with Murphy than a potential rapist. That was a big deal for me.

He grinned at my surprise. "Okay?"

I had no idea what to do so I just nodded. What was I thinking?

He posted up against a tree. He was going to be on watch. "Goodnight, little Blake."

I internally groaned. "Don't call me that, Murphy."

I headed towards the camp. Rest was much needed. Tomorrow was going to be a hell of a day.


	6. Run

song for the chapter: ALEX VARGAS - Till Forever Runs Out/ Mahogany Sessions watch?v=z8HEMnYLoVs

Sorry it's been a while! I've been working on this chapter for a few weeks. I wanted to make sure it hit the correct spots. I hope yall like it. I

CLARKE'S POV

We slipped in and out of consciousness for what seemed liked weeks. It was rare either of us were awake at the same time. "Bellamy." I'd mutter without an answer before slipping back into sleep with heavy eyes.

"Weak, the both of you." A voice stirred me awake.

I peeked an eye open only to come face to face with Anya. My feet scuffled against the ground as I moved back. How was she in front of me?

She smirked. "You call yourself a leader, Clarke." Her eyes landed on Bellamy.

I mustered up all the strength I had to move closer to him. She wouldn't hurt him.

"The mighty leaders of the Sky People. That's laughable. You chained up like dogs."

I had to make sure we weren't actually shackled.

"What do you want from me?" My throat croaked.

"I'm here to help." She offered a bowl of water, bringing it to my lips. The cold liquid trickled into my veins, giving me a little energy. I made sure to save some for Bellamy.

A cough escaped my throat. "I got you killed."

"Bygones." She gestured with her hands. "I didn't die for nothing, so pull yourself together and get the hell out of here."

"How?"

She smirked. "You and I escaped Mount Weather, figure it out."

She disappeared.

My mind ran a mile a minute. Why hadn't we tried to escape? It was all a swirl of nonsensical images and memories. Did they drug us? My eyes scanned the best they could in the darkness, spotting the shells of those nuts that made everyone hallucinate at camp. Gobi nuts? Something.

I focused on Bellamy. The water was sitting between us as opposed to where Anya left it. I crawled over to him. My hand cupped his face as I willed him awake.

"Come on, open your eyes."

His dark eyes flickered open, then widened. "Mom?"

"You're hallucinating." I brought the remaining water to his mouth.

His adam's apple bobbed in his throat. His eyes pleading. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I glanced at the entry way, then back at him before pulling him up as I stood. "We have to go."

"It's my fault you're dead."

I stopped in my attempts to make sure he was okay to stand by himself. "What? No, don't say that."

"You're dead because I took Octavia to a party." Tears filled his eyes as his mouth twisted in regret. "I'm so sorry."

My thumb wiped at his eyes. That was the last thing I wanted to ever see.

"I'm sorry that I don't regret it because I got to meet her." He gave a wry grin. "I got to meet Clarke and that wasn't so bad."

My heart skipped in my chest. His mom knew about his crush on me? Did Octavia know?

"Bellamy, it's Clarke. You're having a hallucination. You need to snap out of it."

He grinned with a nod. "Yeah, she's a princess. Not because she's spoiled, but because she's special." His eyes looked far away.

"Bell, look at me." I brought my face closer to his. "Look at me, it's Clarke."

"I think she likes me. It's pretty hard to tell half the time. There's this Finn guy." He shook his head. "He's not all there at the moment."

For the love of God! My lips crashed into his fiercely, making sure there was nothing motherly about it. My tongue won control easily. He tugged at my lips as his hands grabbed my hips, pulling them closer to his. Unless he kissed his mom like that I'd say he'd awoken from his drug haze.

He pulled away with a grin, his eyes gazing at me.

Unnecessary nerves filled me. I knew I looked like hot-pressed garbage and I didn't want him to see me like this, but it's not like I've been looking like a Mount Weather girl since we've been on Earth.

"You're beautiful, Princess."

There was no hiding my smile, but I couldn't.

He caught my eyes. "How much of that did you hear?"

I laughed. "Just that I've been your "Princess" for a while."

He shook his head in embarrassment. "That was-"

"Adorable."

He gave me a stern look. "I'm not adorable, Clarke."

"You can be."

His brow lifted in mock annoyance. "Aren't we supposed to be escaping?"

"Oh, right."

We headed out of the entrance.

OCTAVIA'S POV

"That's all you got, Murphy?"

We circled each other, our weapons ready.

He smirked devilshly.

"What? Are you afraid to hit a girl all of a sudden?"

The smirk disappeared. I struck a nerve. I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings by alluding to Charlotte, but to distract him. And I did. My knife sliced his arm, dropping him to his knees with the blade to his throat. The Guards laughed.

I grinned. "It's really not that hard boys."

A hand slipped down my leg, electrifying my nerves, then pulled me to the ground hard. Murphy trapped me with his hips as one hand held his knife to my throat and the other trapped my wrists above my head. The tip of the blade pressed hard enough to draw a little blood.

Warning bells should've been ringing in my head, but this was Murphy. He gazed down at me. There was something else behind those clear blue orbs, a range of emotions. I couldn't pinpoint the one that was aimed at me. He could probably hear my heart thudding through my thin shirt and jacket. I tried to wiggle my hips free, but he wouldn't let me move too far, his hips pressing down harder on mine, creating a friction I didn't want to enjoy.

His gaze went to my mouth that moments ago let out a tiny moan of pleasure.

The clapping of the Guards broke our trance and he removed his grip and hips and reached out a hand as he stood.

I ignored it and stood on my own two feet, dusting myself off, not that it really mattered. We were all infinitely dirty. It was unmistakably noticeable that everyone that came down on the Arc were quite cleaner than we were.

As the Guards praised us Murphy walked away, not that I noticed.

A WEEK LATER

Lincoln intertwined our fingers in a possessive as he did lately, which only meant that Murphy was close by. I pulled away as soon as I felt Murphy's presence.

"We need to talk." He leaned against the mop he'd been holding. His mouth got him a few days of work detail. I could always see the anger in his eyes from being treated like scum. I knew exactly how he felt. More than a few people from the Arc eyed Lincoln and I warily.

Monty and Jasper rounded the corner. "So it's been a few days and the Guards haven't made any plans to go after Clarke and Bellamy. We need to move now." Jasper said. Monty nodded.

I felt Lincoln's gaze on me, but I didn't want to look at him.l

"What good was an alliance with the Grounders if they can't hold up their end of the deal?" Monty asked, looking in our general direction.

"I'm not really a Grounder anymore. I can't go back there and look for Bellamy and Clarke. Besides, new traps are made often. I don't know where the new ones are."

A huge part of me was disappointed in Lincoln because he'd become cowardice. I understood that the reaper rug the Mountain Men gave him did some damage, but it was time to bounce back on his feet. Maybe he just needed a little motivation. But if I were honest, I knew a huge part of me was pulling away from him because he wasn't there for me like I needed him to be.

"When do we leave?" Murphy asked, eyes on me with a slight smirk in place.

Before I could stop it a relieved grin escaped my lips. I knew he'd step up. I tore my hand from Lincoln's as I faced Monty and Jasper. "We wait until nightfall."

"If you wait until night, there's no way you'll spot the traps." Lincoln chimed irritably.

Murphy glared at him. "It's better than sitting around and doing nothing. They got captured by your people."

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "It's still dangerous."

Murphy walked the distance between them, his mouth set into an angry line. "So you're gonna be scared the rest of your life, Lincoln?" The challenge clear in his voice.

I groaned. "John, you made your point."

Lincoln cut his eye at me, suspicion written all over his face before he stalked off.

I ran my hand through my hair, forgetting I had a big braid. "We're leaving tonight." I headed in the opposite direction Lincoln had. His jealousy over Murphy was so irritating. We hadn't talked about it directly, but it was plain as day who this was over.

Admittedly, Murphy was attractive and I appreciate that. He helped me a lot in the last few weeks, something I never expected, something I wasn't getting from Lincoln. He tried to kill my brother, whom he was no trying to save when my own boyfriend wasn't. I didn't know how to feel about Murphy. Right now I didn't know how to feel about Lincoln. I didn't love him any less than I did a few weeks ago, but with everything that's changed since we landed on Earth, I didn't know how to navigate the mess before me.

"Hey,"

A spike of excitement ran through me at the voice. I turned to see Murphy with unreadable eyes.

"If you want we can leave now."

My brow raised. "You afraid of the dark, Murphy?"

He smirked. "You wish, little Blake."

The corner of my mouth turned up in amusement. His endless blues dare me to look away.

"Seriously, Lincoln has a point. The less risk we take the better our chances of coming out alive are."

"I thought you weren't scared."

"I'm cautious, Blake. Not scared." He backed down the hall. "You can talk Lincoln into going."

No, I couldn't. Honestly, I needed some time away from him, but he didn't have anything to worry about. It wasn't like I was going to walk up to Murphy and lay one on him.

"Tell Monty and Jasper to wait at the gate." I called over my shoulder before going to find Lincoln in our sleeping quarters lost in thought.

"We're leaving." I announced as I leaned against the entrance. "Are you in or not?"

He waited a few seconds before answering. "I wouldn't do anybody any good."

I sighed. "Not true. You're the most experienced."

He gave me a wry laugh. "With the least amount of courage."

What could I say? That it wasn't true? Well, it was. At least in the last few weeks.

"Look," I moved my hand to his bicep. "You don't have to prove anything to anybody, but yourself."

"I'm losing you, Octavia." He muttered after a few moments of silence. "Can't you see that or are you too busy somewhere else?"

My temper flared. "This isn't about Murphy."

He just looked at me with sad eyes. "I didn't say any names."

My eyes went to the ceiling. "Murphy likes me, it's obvious. But I love you, I told him as much weeks ago. Besides he told me to come ask you to again. He's not that bad."

He scoffed.

"He saved my life."

He stared at me. "I know he helped you out when you all were attacked by my p... by the Grounders. But you can take care of yourself."

"No, one of the Guards tried to rape me." I shoved him. "Murphy took care of him when you weren't there!" I glared at him as tears pricked my eyes. "You weren't there for me!"

He stared at me with wide eyes, his face slack. "When was this?" He moved closer to me.

I moved out of his touch, it just didn't feel the same. "The Guard felt me up, tried to force himself on me. Murphy came along and he killed him."

His eyes bulged. "He what?"

"He had to! This guy wouldn't stop."

It dawned on me that it didn't freak me out that I was defending Murphy. At the same time It dawned on me that I had never really reacted to the whole incident despite that it was almost all I thought about, that a girl who lived under the floor for the most of her life was almost a victim of rape.

Victim.

I hated that I was a victim. It angered me. And I hated that I was blaming Lincoln for what was out of his control. It wasn't fair.

Lincoln engulfed me in a bear hug. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I squeezed back. "I didn't want to talk about it, especially not about you."

He pulled after a seconds. "I understand now." His eyes searching mine.

"What do you mean?"

"You feel safe around him, he protected you when I couldn't. I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there for you, I'm sorry that this happened to you."

There it was. The look I didn't want to be given. Sympathy. Like I was a victim.

I knew I had to tell Bellamy this when I saw him, which reminded me.

"We have to go now, you can come if you want, if you're ready."

He stilled. "I want to be, but I need more time."

I nodded. I gave his cheek a peck. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

I headed for the exit.

They were waiting for me gate, weapons ready.

"Way to be conspicuous, guys."

Jasper and Monty laughed. "That's the only way we know how to be."

I shoved him in the shoulder as me we headed out.

"Lincoln didn't want to come?" Monty asked.

"Not this time."

I could feel Murphy's eyes on me, gauging my emotion. I glanced at him. "I'm fine."

"Yeah?" He shoved my shoulder.

I grinned and bumped him with my shoulder. "Yeah."

He laughed and I looked at him wide eyed because of how genuine it sounded, the crinkle in his eyes. His smile distracted me and I tripped over a fucking root. My cheeks blushed scarlet red.

His hands pulled up. "You okay, O?"

Jasper just laughed while Monty scolded him.

I was at a loss for words. Bellamy was the only one who called me "O". My heart thudded in my chest as I composed myself. His eyes knowing.

I pulled away from his grip a little too hard. "I'm fine."

"Sure."

I gave him a look.

CLARKE'S POV

"You've been here before, does anything look familiar?" Bellamy asked me.

I looked around desperately. "It all sort of looks the same."

"Well, we still need to get out of here."

"Thanks, captain obvious." I rolled my eyes as I led the way down the corridor.

He grabbed my hand as he followed. Neither one of us had no idea how long we'd been locked up, but we sure smelled like we'd been stewing for a while. We heard voices coming from the distance. He immediately shoved me behind him. I tried to move around him, but he was so strong. "Would you just stay behind me." He demanded.

All I could do was stare at his back, frozen by the meaning of his action. He thought I was weak, that I needed to be protected. Anger flared in me. I wasn't some damsel! Sure, I wasn't great at combat, but I knew how to hold my own and the fact that Bellamy thought I couldn't stung.

The shadows on the wall receded along with the voices. As soon as I was sure they wouldn't be back I shoved him hard.

"Ah." He turned to me. "Why?"

I looked at him expectantly. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He groaned. "Don't start Clarke. Neither of us have the energy to waste."

"Fine. I don't want you always protect me. I can handle myself. No argument." I marched past him. "We have to go."

He followed.

MURPHY'S POV:

"Why would the Grounders not release them if we have the truce?" I asked Octavia.

She'd been walking ahead of me for a while, albeit annoyed that she couldn't ignore what she was starting to feel for me. I could see it in her eyes, behind all that determination and strength.

Monty and Jasper weren't quick to welcome me back into the fold, once I sat them down separately to apologize they started to accept me. I wasn't naive, I knew I had to prove myself. As luck would have it, the two people they trust and respect the most are in need of rescuing. This was my chance with Bellamy and Clarke. Oddly enough, I think Bellamy would forgive me before Clarke did. She was kind of scary. Bellamy had his hands full with that one.

Still, I had a lot of making up to do for who I was before. When we landed I wanted to be an alpha male, I wanted to feel genuinely strong for once in my life. Instead I acted like a huge dick, thinking fear would get me somewhere. All it got me was everyone's resentment. For a while I thought it meant they respected me. Now I knew they just hated me. Hated me enough to string me up for Charlotte's crime. Her suicide was on me. I knew that.

"This happened before the alliance. Maybe whoever had them was too afraid to give them up." She suggested.

"But Indra and the Commander said they did a sweep of their grounds and couldn't find anything." Monty said.

Octavia kneeled to the ground, then looked at us. "The ground's shaking."

There was a sound like roots snapping and a roar that shook my bones. We collectively decided it was time to high tail it. I almost crapped myself when a tree branch flew by my head and shattered a nearby tree. A string of curse words left my mouth. I called on the only person I trusted with my life.

"Octavia!"

She looked back at me, panic written all over her face. "No!"

Something grabbed me by the jacket and pulled me back. The few seconds I was airborne I'm quite sure I did in fact shit myself. My head hit the ground and my vision blurred as I groaned. Black swirls came into view as my left arm was being pulled away from my right leg, I felt the arm pop out of socket. That pain cleared my vision and I came face to face with sharp white teeth and foul breath. What in the holy hell was that?

An arrow flew into the beast's arm causing it to roar louder than before. Another arrow hit it in the chest, sending it stumbling back. I crawled out of the way, reaching for my sword with my good arm. His fist smashed the spot where my head used to be.

"We have to run." Monty demanded.

"If we run, it'll just chase us." Octavia shouted, drawing another arrow with a scowl in place.

"If we don't run it'll kill us." He argued.

He was right.

Octavia ran towards it, ready for a fight.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Jasper ran along with her. They stabbed and jabbed at the beast. It roared so loud the trees shook. Monty and I shared a look, both of us worried. The beast threw Jasper a few feet into the air, Monty rushed to him, leaving Octavia the focus. Octavia held her own as I ran behind the beast and got in a few shots as I held my gun with my good arm. It stumbled for a few feet, then grabbed my gun, swirling as bullets flew.

I went down with a ringing in my ears. Someone was screaming. Jasper held Monty. My hand went to my stomach. Dark red stained them as my eyes fluttered shut. I groaned as I fought to get up. Jasper sobbed. The beast was down while Octavia stood over it, her sword disappearing into the body over and over again. I tried to speak, but blood pooled out of my mouth. Octavia wouldn't stop stabbing it even with the blood splattered on her face and the faraway look in her eyes. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

BELLAMY'S POV

We walked forever. Neither one of us spoke. What had I done to her that was so bad?

"I'm just going to say it." She turned to me, but stilled.

We felt the ground shake, then heard the roar seconds later.

We headed for the opposite direction. I grabbed her hand so she wouldn't fall behind, but she yanked it away harshly. I turned to face her only to have her run into me, which sent us tumbling over a nearby edge and into a rocky ravine. I groaned as we landed in the stream of water, the fall producing new bruises and cuts. Clarke just layed there. Great. She was unconscious.

With the sun high in the sky I had ample time to catch some food. I just didn't want to leave Clarke here by herself. What if she woke up and thought I left her on purpose? What if she needed assistance? Our need for food outweighed those worries.

Before leaving, I marked the spot I left her with by tying my jacket on the tree that was closest. It was warm enough at the moment that I didn't need it.

By the time I caught the fish - I didn't understand how there were fish that survived the radiation in this area, every water source was fresh water - The temperature in the air had changed to tolerable, but chilly. I headed back to where I left Clarke, which wasn't too far. Maybe she had awoken. I hoped she wasn't freaking out.

"Clarke?"

The spot I left her was empty except for her jacket. Where the hell was she? I thought she hit her head and would be out a bit longer.

"Clarke!"

I dropped the fish and started to build a fire from nearby wood. It was hard to find dry enough wood, being that it must've rained overnight, everything was damp. Luckily, I'd grabbed the knife from where we were held captive, which made skinning the fish easier. I couldn't help, but think that our escape was too easy. Why keep us locked up for however long then just let us walk out without a fight?

A twig snapped in the distance. My head shot up. I rose with the knife ready. "Who's out there?" I looked around.

There was a sound of footsteps, but I couldn't pinpoint where they were coming from.

"Hello?"

Something hit me in the back. I turned over a rock in my hand. What the hell? A Grounder wouldn't throw a rock. Would they?

"Alright, come out. I'm not looking for a fight." I reasoned, even though I was fully intending to kick Grounder ass if need be.

A flock of birds croaked as they flew over the tree canopy, making me jump. Another twig snapped.

"If you've taken an unconscious blonde then I'm going to have to ask for her back."

A laughing came from a nearby tree.

My eyes narrowed. "Clarke?"

Her head popped out from the tree. "You're going to have to ask for me back?" She came from behind the tree. "Really brave, Bell."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you get a kick out worrying me? I thought something happened to you?"

She shrugged. "I went for a dip in the lake."

I gave her a look. "The one with the giant snake that attacked my sister?" I gave her a hand in getting down the rocky slope. Taking in her appearance, she did look cleaner and smelled like her old self.

"No, but I made sure to make my presence known before I jumped in." She looked me up and down. "You could use one, you know." Her tone teasing.

"Well, I was out making sure we lived through the night, so..." I mocked.

She faked a smile.

I was wary as to how she seemed to forgive me so quickly. I thought our little tiff from earlier was going to last awhile. I met her gaze.

"You want to finish cooking these while I go wash up?"

She grabbed the knife. "Sure. It's only a few minutes east of here. If you've hit camp Jaha you've gone too far."

"Ha ha."

She grinned before spearing the fish.

When I got back the fish were about done and the sun was about an hour or so from setting, which meant our body heat would deplete, which meant I needed to make sure Clarke was up for a little cuddling.

I took her in. The flames bounced off her golden hair and fair skin. Even banged up she was still gorgeous. Oddly enough, I prefered her with cuts and bruises. She was a fighter and I loved that. She was by no means Octavia when it came to combat, but she could still hold her own. I didn't doubt that, I just didn't like the idea of her directly in the face of danger. I knew I couldn't protect her forever and I knew she'd hate me for smothering her, but I'd much rather have her hate me then not be alive.

Her eyes found mine, a question in them. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Go on." I gestured with my hand.

She grinned. "Dick."

I laughed.

Her grin faded as she stared at the fire.

Dammit. I knew what this was about.

"I don't think you're weak, Clarke."

She looked up.

"That's why you were upset?"

"It wasn't because someone thought I was weak. It was you that thought I was weak."

I huffed. "Look, I don't want you getting hurt."

She crossed her arms. "Well, I don't want you getting hurt because of me."

I nodded. "You're my partner, Clarke. My best friend." I gazed at her intently. "I don't know who I'd be down here without you. I'm going to do everything I can to protect you, even if that means putting my life on the line. And I don't think you're weak or defenseless."

She nodded, her eyes understanding. "I just don't think I could live with myself if something happened to you because of me."

My heart skipped a beat as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Being that I'm in love with you, I don't have much control of that."

She froze. All she could do was stare at me with those big blue eyes.

A/N: Sorry for the weird formatting. I copied and pasted this from google drive because I no longer have Word because I had to reset my laptop. How heartwrenching was Bellarke last week?! Here's my Youtube Bellarke playlist, which consist of fan videos, scenes from the show, and songs that I think fit Bellarke (no pressure to folllow). playlist?list=PLBtjQJj3LJquwAYcpOqi5rcQrhfrlHax0

PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Encouragement and feedback get me motivated to upload for yall.


	7. Resolution

OCTAVIA'S POV:

"Murphy!" I ran from the beast to his unmoving body. "Can you hear me?" I checked his pulse.

He was still alive, but I didn't know for how long with a shot like that to the stomach. Jasper's screaming wasn't helping. I knew Monty was dead. I didn't know how to process that. All I could focus on was Murphy and keeping him alive.

I picked him up after I tied my jacket around his would. There was no time to think about how heavy he was as I walked as fast as I could manage.  
"Jasper. We need to get back to camp." I called over my shoulder.

No response.

"Jasper!" I screamed.

His red puffy eyes met mine. "He's dead!" He yelled back.

I groaned. There wasn't time to worry about this. "I'm heading back to camp to try and save Murphy."

Who knew how far I got or if I was going in the right direction? When I looked for the sun it was significantly lower than when I left. Angry tears filled my eyes as I set him down to make sure he was still breathing. My hands went to his neck, searching for any sign of a pulse. It was faint, but still threre.

My chin trembled. "No." The cold night air passed through me, chilling me to the bone.  
I shook him. "Murphy!" Come on, he couldn't be dead. "I need you right now!" I fell onto him, crying into his neck. He survived torture. He could survive this.

"Please."

"Octavia."

My eyes met his half cracked baby blues. I sighed in relief. My hands held his head up.

"You have to let me go." He croaked, blood spilling out of his mouth.

"What? You're going to be okay."

His hand gripped mine. "Listen to me."

"I'm not going to let you die!"

He gave a weak grin, his teeth bloodied. "I don't really know what love is." He swallowed hard. "But I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you."

It was becoming hard to see through the tears. "I know."

He grinned. "I'm glad you got to know me before I died."

I didn't know if I was in love with Murphy, I didn't think I was. But I did know that it'll hurt like hell if he didn't make it. My eyes fell to his mouth. I couldn't lie to him, but I could give him something else. My mouth sought his, knowing that it wouldn't be all that romantic because of the blood. I gave him a soft meaningful kiss.

When I pulled away he just layed there.

My chin couldn't stop trembling. "No." I sobbed into his chest.  
CLARKE'S POV

I felt like I was going to throw up. Bellamy just casually told me he was in love with me like it was obvious to everyone and I felt like I was going to throw up.

He looked at me with those intense brown eyes.

"AH!" A scream came from the distance.

"Octavia?" Bellamy stood.

The crying continued. Without a word, he ran toward the noise.

"Octavia?" He called.

"Bell?" She called back.

I followed him until we found her kneeling over Murphy, who had a fatal stomach wound.

"What happened?" Bellamy asked.

She looked up at me with hope in her red puffy eyes. "You can fix him."

He looked pretty dead to me. "I don't have any-"

"Fix him!" She demanded, something dark in her voice.

I knelt to the ground, checking his pulse. My eyes met both of the Blake's. "He's gone."

She stared at me like I told her that her world was coming to an end before crumbling down into tears as she layed on Murphy's legs.

Bellamy rested a hand on her back. "What happened, O? Did he do something to you?"

She turned her glare on him like a viper then shook him off. "No, he didn't do anything to me! How could you say that?"

We shared a confused look.

"He didn't deserve this, he was a good person."

How long were we captured? Murphy, a good person? That was laughable.

Murphy coughed then groaned.

What the hell?

His eyes cracked open.

Octavia grinned through her tears, her arms wrapping around him.

Bellamy just looked really confused.

"Okay. Let's get him back down to the ravine." I told Bellamy. "I'll have to make due with a poultice."

Bellamy moved him with Octavia's help. She placed his head on her lap and held his head while I applied the poultice.

"This should stop the infection. Sadly, that's all I can do right now. If he makes it through the night I'll cauterize it with the knife."

Murphy nodded. "Thank you."

"He's going to make it." Determination was heavy in her voice.

Bellamy and I shared another look. Now didn't seem the time to ask, but all we was time.

"What happened?" He asked.

Octavia all of a sudden looked so very tired. "We came looking for you. Something attacked us on the way. We all fought it off, but it killed Monty and shot Murphy, so I killed it."

"Monty's dead?" Murphy asked meekly.

Dammit.

"So that means you got everyone out of Mount Weather?" I asked.

She nodded. "We have a truce with the Grounders, which is why it took us so long to come find you. Indra promised that there was no sign of you."

I brought some water to Murphy's mouth, Octavia grabbed it from my hands. What the hell happened between those two? I could tell Bellamy was trying to keep calm. He couldn't stand Murphy.

"Who else was with you?" He asked.

"Jasper. I don't know where he is."

My eyes widened. "What do you mean you don't know?"

Her eyes found mine. "I don't know where he is. I left him with Monty. I didn't have time to make sure Jasper was okay. Murphy was dying, what was I supposed to do?"

"Calm down, O. We're not trying to blame you. We just want some answers."

She gave Murphy more water, her hand played with his hair. Murphy seemed to be in absolute bliss despite the gaping hole in his stomach. I mean, I kind of guessed that he liked her before we were kidnapped. Finding out that I was right was satisfying. Now the question left was how did Octavia come to stand Murphy? He did try to kill Bellamy, which was pretty unforgivable. Not to mention he tried to kill Charlotte. Even though she was the devil she didn't deserve the search party Murphy led. He was an all around awful guy. He couldn't be trusted, yet Octavia cried over what she thought to be his death.

She looked like she had a lot on her mind, which I could relate to. My eyes found Bellamy. I gestured for us to leave.

"Octavia, we're going to run down to the lake for more water." I stood.

She nodded.

Our walk to the lake was silent, a bit awkward. My hand found his.

He looked over at me, the big question in his eyes.

I couldn't help my grin from turning into a laugh as I bumped into him. "So you're in love with little ole me, huh?"

He smirked. "I'm pretty sure that's what I said earlier."

I gave him a look. "Don't be an ass or else I'm not going to tell you that I'm in love with you, too."

His smirk fell away as he gazed at me. "You are?"

I nodded. "Yes, but I-"

"Not with the buts, Clarke. There's nothing standing in our way."

My eyes found the stars. He was right. I was just scared. This was all new to me. The first relationship I had was with Finn and looked how that turned out. Excuse me if I was hesitant to jump into another one. I knew what I had with Finn wouldn't be anything like what I imagined being with Bellamy would be like. For one, the sex wasn't that great with Finn. I had a strong feeling with Bellamy I'd be waking up with a genuine smile on my face and not the fake scared one I had with Finn.

He stopped walking and turned me to him. "If you're not ready, then I don't want to rush you into anything. I'll wait until you're sure, until the idea of us doesn't scare you."

My heart fluttered in my chest. "Why can't you be more of a dick about this? You're making this so hard."

He laughed, he brought me in for a hug. His chin rested on top of my head. "You're worth fighting for."

Go ahead. Reduce me to a puddle of feelings. I just wanted to punch him. Punch him and kiss him. Well, mostly kiss him.

"I don't know how to tell you thank you."

"For what?"

My eyes met his, my chin resting on his chest. "You're just so patient and willing with me." I grinned, then laughed at the piece of information I'd been keeping from him. "I remember seeing you on the Arc as a Guard."

He got a faraway look in his eyes. "You do?"

"I thought you were very hot in your uniform." My hands grabbed the loops in his pants.

He grinned. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I stood on my toes to reach his mouth. My arms wrapped around his neck as I tried to demonstrate how much he meant to me.

His strong manly hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer.  
watch?v=dFh4zwhjGdo This version of Matt Corby's Untitled is amazing and I think the song fits with this part below.

MURPHY'S POV

As cliche as it sounds my life flashed before my eyes and I realized how alone I still was. There were only a handful of people on Earth that even acknowledged me as a person and one of those people died because of me. How was I going to face Jasper?

Octavia...I couldn't believe how she reacted. I heard everything even when I was unconscious. She actually cried for me. She'd never know how much that meant.

I layed with my head still in her lap, watching as the flames licked her already golden brown skin. The warmth of the fire kept us toasty. Her eyes were white again, but still a bit puffy.

"I almost died today."

She continued to play with my hair, soothing us both down. "Yeah, but you came back." She looked down at me with intent eyes. "What you said earlier about letting you go...I couldn't do that."

"Thank you."

She cracked a grin. "I wasn't going to let you die."

"I meant for believing in me. I haven't had much of that lately."

Her eyes turned sad. "Tell me about it. I want to know about your parents."

My gaze faltered. "You didn't hear about them from Raven?"

She made me look at her. "I asked you, not Raven."

"Long story short my d-"

"I don't want the short story, John." She encouraged.

I huffed. "About a year ago-"

"Don't you mean about a week ago?"

"Huh?"

She refrained from laughing. "Nevermind, go ahead."

My eyes narrowed. "Are you okay?"

She gave me a look. "Tell the damn story."

I rolled my eyes. "Some time ago, I came down with the flu. It didn't look like I was going to make it. So my dad snuck into medical and stole the medicine. Abby Griffin turned him in. After he got floated everything kind of went to shit for me. My mom blamed me, which I could've handled if she hadn't started drinking everyday. After a while I couldn't take it anymore, I lashed out on one of the Guards. Bellamy broke it up. He was the one who threw me away and locked the key."

"So you think that makes it okay for you to be a dick to people?"

I shook my head. "I know I have a lot to make up for. If I died today you'd be the only person that I cried over my death. While I'm flattered, I'm not okay with that."

"You've been much better lately." She chuckled. "I mean, you still have a ways to go until you're not a total ass."

"I agree with you, O."

She grinned, then huffed. "What are we going to tell Bell and Clarke?"

"You mean you weren't planning on telling them we kissed?" I reached up to brush my thumb over her bottom lip. "Or are we going to pretend that it didn't happen because I was dying?"

She seemed to be at a loss for words. Her eyes sad.

I started to rise, but she pushed me back down. "If I weren't dying, would you have kissed me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know exactly how I feel about you and I know that that's not good enough, but I'm with Lincoln. I love him and I can't leave him when he needs me the most."

I gave a slight nod. "Okay. I get it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I could use all the friends I can get."

BELLAMY'S POV

I huffed as we headed back to our camp. "How are we going to handle what's going on with Murphy and my sister?"

Clarke laughed. "I admit Murphy isn't my favorite person, but I don't think it's something that we need to worry about."

I cut my eye at her. "You can't be serious?"

"You saw how she was with him. Maybe she's good for him."

I shook my head. "I don't like it Clarke, he's a psychopath."

"I'm not saying that you're wrong, but he did what he had to when he got down here. You weren't exactly a good samaritan either."

"How did this get turned around on me?"

"All I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't stress out about something that probably won't amount to anything."

Now I was confused. "Huh?"

She groaned. "You're such a guy. Octavia likes Murphy, but she's not going to leave Lincoln because of whatever they have. She's not an idiot. Murphy will understand that and then they'll try to be just friends. It may or may not work. He'll probably do something to screw it up."

"I'm not really sure I understood any of that."

A gun went off.

My eyes scanned Clarke. "Are you okay?"

She nodded as we ran for the camp.

What the hell could've gone wrong now? I swear, if something happened to my sister because of Murphy I'd kill him!

We didn't expect to see Jasper standing over My sister and Murphy with crazed eyes.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" Clarke asked calmly, taking a few steps toward him.

Octavia helped Murphy stand, he groaned in pain. She met my eyes and in the first time in a while I saw fear in them.

Jasper turned his gun on Clarke. "Back up! I don't want to hurt you, Clarke, but I will!"

Her hands went up in surrender. "Alright, calm down. We don't want any-"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" He walked closer to us, then backed up a few feet. "I'm sorry." He cried, then laughed. "It's not your fault." He swung his gun back to Murphy. "It's his fault! He got Monty killed!" Tears ran down his face.

I silently begged Octavia to move away from Murphy. If that gun went off it could hit her.

"Jasper." I moved into his line of sight, taking the heat off of O. "What happened to Monty wasn't Murphy's fault. He's injured, too. He died earlier. He had no control over what happened." My eyes begged him to understand.

Clarke inched her way behind Jasper. If she got hurt I' kill her.

Jasper thought about what I said for a few seconds then pointed the gun back at Murphy. "It's not enough. It's his fault. He has to pay!"

"You don't have to do this," Octavia begged. "Please." She pushed herself in front of Murphy.

He shook his head."No." Tears wet his face. "Blood must answer blood."  
Clarke knocked him in the back of the head. He turned around as they struggled for the gun. Instincts kicked in, I couldn't let her get hurt. I couldn't lose her. I headed for them just as she gained control. He pulled the trigger while she tried to get it back from his grasp. The gun went off. Our eyes met and I froze.

"No!" Octavia cried.

Thanks again for reading! Again, no obligation to review. I hope yall liked it. Anyway, I wish I had this up sooner thanks for the read!


	8. Resolution

OCTAVIA'S POV:

"Murphy!" I ran from the beast to his unmoving body. "Can you hear me?" I checked his pulse.

He was still alive, but I didn't know for how long with a shot like that to the stomach. Jasper's screaming wasn't helping. I knew Monty was dead. I didn't know how to process that. All I could focus on was Murphy and keeping him alive.

I picked him up after I tied my jacket around his would. There was no time to think about how heavy he was as I walked as fast as I could manage.  
"Jasper. We need to get back to camp." I called over my shoulder.

No response.

"Jasper!" I screamed.

His red puffy eyes met mine. "He's dead!" He yelled back.

I groaned. There wasn't time to worry about this. "I'm heading back to camp to try and save Murphy."

Who knew how far I got or if I was going in the right direction? When I looked for the sun it was significantly lower than when I left. Angry tears filled my eyes as I set him down to make sure he was still breathing. My hands went to his neck, searching for any sign of a pulse. It was faint, but still threre.

My chin trembled. "No." The cold night air passed through me, chilling me to the bone.  
I shook him. "Murphy!" Come on, he couldn't be dead. "I need you right now!" I fell onto him, crying into his neck. He survived torture. He could survive this.

"Please."

"Octavia."

My eyes met his half cracked baby blues. I sighed in relief. My hands held his head up.

"You have to let me go." He croaked, blood spilling out of his mouth.

"What? You're going to be okay."

His hand gripped mine. "Listen to me."

"I'm not going to let you die!"

He gave a weak grin, his teeth bloodied. "I don't really know what love is." He swallowed hard. "But I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you."

It was becoming hard to see through the tears. "I know."

He grinned. "I'm glad you got to know me before I died."

I didn't know if I was in love with Murphy, I didn't think I was. But I did know that it'll hurt like hell if he didn't make it. My eyes fell to his mouth. I couldn't lie to him, but I could give him something else. My mouth sought his, knowing that it wouldn't be all that romantic because of the blood. I gave him a soft meaningful kiss.

When I pulled away he just layed there.

My chin couldn't stop trembling. "No." I sobbed into his chest.  
CLARKE'S POV

I felt like I was going to throw up. Bellamy just casually told me he was in love with me like it was obvious to everyone and I felt like I was going to throw up.

He looked at me with those intense brown eyes.

"AH!" A scream came from the distance.

"Octavia?" Bellamy stood.

The crying continued. Without a word, he ran toward the noise.

"Octavia?" He called.

"Bell?" She called back.

I followed him until we found her kneeling over Murphy, who had a fatal stomach wound.

"What happened?" Bellamy asked.

She looked up at me with hope in her red puffy eyes. "You can fix him."

He looked pretty dead to me. "I don't have any-"

"Fix him!" She demanded, something dark in her voice.

I knelt to the ground, checking his pulse. My eyes met both of the Blake's. "He's gone."

She stared at me like I told her that her world was coming to an end before crumbling down into tears as she layed on Murphy's legs.

Bellamy rested a hand on her back. "What happened, O? Did he do something to you?"

She turned her glare on him like a viper then shook him off. "No, he didn't do anything to me! How could you say that?"

We shared a confused look.

"He didn't deserve this, he was a good person."

How long were we captured? Murphy, a good person? That was laughable.

Murphy coughed then groaned.

What the hell?

His eyes cracked open.

Octavia grinned through her tears, her arms wrapping around him.

Bellamy just looked really confused.

"Okay. Let's get him back down to the ravine." I told Bellamy. "I'll have to make due with a poultice."

Bellamy moved him with Octavia's help. She placed his head on her lap and held his head while I applied the poultice.

"This should stop the infection. Sadly, that's all I can do right now. If he makes it through the night I'll cauterize it with the knife."

Murphy nodded. "Thank you."

"He's going to make it." Determination was heavy in her voice.

Bellamy and I shared another look. Now didn't seem the time to ask, but all we was time.

"What happened?" He asked.

Octavia all of a sudden looked so very tired. "We came looking for you. Something attacked us on the way. We all fought it off, but it killed Monty and shot Murphy, so I killed it."

"Monty's dead?" Murphy asked meekly.

Dammit.

"So that means you got everyone out of Mount Weather?" I asked.

She nodded. "We have a truce with the Grounders, which is why it took us so long to come find you. Indra promised that there was no sign of you."

I brought some water to Murphy's mouth, Octavia grabbed it from my hands. What the hell happened between those two? I could tell Bellamy was trying to keep calm. He couldn't stand Murphy.

"Who else was with you?" He asked.

"Jasper. I don't know where he is."

My eyes widened. "What do you mean you don't know?"

Her eyes found mine. "I don't know where he is. I left him with Monty. I didn't have time to make sure Jasper was okay. Murphy was dying, what was I supposed to do?"

"Calm down, O. We're not trying to blame you. We just want some answers."

She gave Murphy more water, her hand played with his hair. Murphy seemed to be in absolute bliss despite the gaping hole in his stomach. I mean, I kind of guessed that he liked her before we were kidnapped. Finding out that I was right was satisfying. Now the question left was how did Octavia come to stand Murphy? He did try to kill Bellamy, which was pretty unforgivable. Not to mention he tried to kill Charlotte. Even though she was the devil she didn't deserve the search party Murphy led. He was an all around awful guy. He couldn't be trusted, yet Octavia cried over what she thought to be his death.

She looked like she had a lot on her mind, which I could relate to. My eyes found Bellamy. I gestured for us to leave.

"Octavia, we're going to run down to the lake for more water." I stood.

She nodded.

Our walk to the lake was silent, a bit awkward. My hand found his.

He looked over at me, the big question in his eyes.

I couldn't help my grin from turning into a laugh as I bumped into him. "So you're in love with little ole me, huh?"

He smirked. "I'm pretty sure that's what I said earlier."

I gave him a look. "Don't be an ass or else I'm not going to tell you that I'm in love with you, too."

His smirk fell away as he gazed at me. "You are?"

I nodded. "Yes, but I-"

"Not with the buts, Clarke. There's nothing standing in our way."

My eyes found the stars. He was right. I was just scared. This was all new to me. The first relationship I had was with Finn and looked how that turned out. Excuse me if I was hesitant to jump into another one. I knew what I had with Finn wouldn't be anything like what I imagined being with Bellamy would be like. For one, the sex wasn't that great with Finn. I had a strong feeling with Bellamy I'd be waking up with a genuine smile on my face and not the fake scared one I had with Finn.

He stopped walking and turned me to him. "If you're not ready, then I don't want to rush you into anything. I'll wait until you're sure, until the idea of us doesn't scare you."

My heart fluttered in my chest. "Why can't you be more of a dick about this? You're making this so hard."

He laughed, he brought me in for a hug. His chin rested on top of my head. "You're worth fighting for."

Go ahead. Reduce me to a puddle of feelings. I just wanted to punch him. Punch him and kiss him. Well, mostly kiss him.

"I don't know how to tell you thank you."

"For what?"

My eyes met his, my chin resting on his chest. "You're just so patient and willing with me." I grinned, then laughed at the piece of information I'd been keeping from him. "I remember seeing you on the Arc as a Guard."

He got a faraway look in his eyes. "You do?"

"I thought you were very hot in your uniform." My hands grabbed the loops in his pants.

He grinned. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I stood on my toes to reach his mouth. My arms wrapped around his neck as I tried to demonstrate how much he meant to me.

His strong manly hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer.  
watch?v=dFh4zwhjGdo This version of Matt Corby's Untitled is amazing and I think the song fits with this part below.

MURPHY'S POV

As cliche as it sounds my life flashed before my eyes and I realized how alone I still was. There were only a handful of people on Earth that even acknowledged me as a person and one of those people died because of me. How was I going to face Jasper?

Octavia...I couldn't believe how she reacted. I heard everything even when I was unconscious. She actually cried for me. She'd never know how much that meant.

I layed with my head still in her lap, watching as the flames licked her already golden brown skin. The warmth of the fire kept us toasty. Her eyes were white again, but still a bit puffy.

"I almost died today."

She continued to play with my hair, soothing us both down. "Yeah, but you came back." She looked down at me with intent eyes. "What you said earlier about letting you go...I couldn't do that."

"Thank you."

She cracked a grin. "I wasn't going to let you die."

"I meant for believing in me. I haven't had much of that lately."

Her eyes turned sad. "Tell me about it. I want to know about your parents."

My gaze faltered. "You didn't hear about them from Raven?"

She made me look at her. "I asked you, not Raven."

"Long story short my d-"

"I don't want the short story, John." She encouraged.

I huffed. "About a year ago-"

"Don't you mean about a week ago?"

"Huh?"

She refrained from laughing. "Nevermind, go ahead."

My eyes narrowed. "Are you okay?"

She gave me a look. "Tell the damn story."

I rolled my eyes. "Some time ago, I came down with the flu. It didn't look like I was going to make it. So my dad snuck into medical and stole the medicine. Abby Griffin turned him in. After he got floated everything kind of went to shit for me. My mom blamed me, which I could've handled if she hadn't started drinking everyday. After a while I couldn't take it anymore, I lashed out on one of the Guards. Bellamy broke it up. He was the one who threw me away and locked the key."

"So you think that makes it okay for you to be a dick to people?"

I shook my head. "I know I have a lot to make up for. If I died today you'd be the only person that I cried over my death. While I'm flattered, I'm not okay with that."

"You've been much better lately." She chuckled. "I mean, you still have a ways to go until you're not a total ass."

"I agree with you, O."

She grinned, then huffed. "What are we going to tell Bell and Clarke?"

"You mean you weren't planning on telling them we kissed?" I reached up to brush my thumb over her bottom lip. "Or are we going to pretend that it didn't happen because I was dying?"

She seemed to be at a loss for words. Her eyes sad.

I started to rise, but she pushed me back down. "If I weren't dying, would you have kissed me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know exactly how I feel about you and I know that that's not good enough, but I'm with Lincoln. I love him and I can't leave him when he needs me the most."

I gave a slight nod. "Okay. I get it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I could use all the friends I can get."

BELLAMY'S POV

I huffed as we headed back to our camp. "How are we going to handle what's going on with Murphy and my sister?"

Clarke laughed. "I admit Murphy isn't my favorite person, but I don't think it's something that we need to worry about."

I cut my eye at her. "You can't be serious?"

"You saw how she was with him. Maybe she's good for him."

I shook my head. "I don't like it Clarke, he's a psychopath."

"I'm not saying that you're wrong, but he did what he had to when he got down here. You weren't exactly a good samaritan either."

"How did this get turned around on me?"

"All I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't stress out about something that probably won't amount to anything."

Now I was confused. "Huh?"

She groaned. "You're such a guy. Octavia likes Murphy, but she's not going to leave Lincoln because of whatever they have. She's not an idiot. Murphy will understand that and then they'll try to be just friends. It may or may not work. He'll probably do something to screw it up."

"I'm not really sure I understood any of that."

A gun went off.

My eyes scanned Clarke. "Are you okay?"

She nodded as we ran for the camp.

What the hell could've gone wrong now? I swear, if something happened to my sister because of Murphy I'd kill him!

We didn't expect to see Jasper standing over My sister and Murphy with crazed eyes.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" Clarke asked calmly, taking a few steps toward him.

Octavia helped Murphy stand, he groaned in pain. She met my eyes and in the first time in a while I saw fear in them.

Jasper turned his gun on Clarke. "Back up! I don't want to hurt you, Clarke, but I will!"

Her hands went up in surrender. "Alright, calm down. We don't want any-"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" He walked closer to us, then backed up a few feet. "I'm sorry." He cried, then laughed. "It's not your fault." He swung his gun back to Murphy. "It's his fault! He got Monty killed!" Tears ran down his face.

I silently begged Octavia to move away from Murphy. If that gun went off it could hit her.

"Jasper." I moved into his line of sight, taking the heat off of O. "What happened to Monty wasn't Murphy's fault. He's injured, too. He died earlier. He had no control over what happened." My eyes begged him to understand.

Clarke inched her way behind Jasper. If she got hurt I' kill her.

Jasper thought about what I said for a few seconds then pointed the gun back at Murphy. "It's not enough. It's his fault. He has to pay!"

"You don't have to do this," Octavia begged. "Please." She pushed herself in front of Murphy.

He shook his head."No." Tears wet his face. "Blood must answer blood."  
Clarke knocked him in the back of the head. He turned around as they struggled for the gun. Instincts kicked in, I couldn't let her get hurt. I couldn't lose her. I headed for them just as she gained control. He pulled the trigger while she tried to get it back from his grasp. The gun went off. Our eyes met and I froze.

"No!" Octavia cried.

Thanks again for reading! Again, no obligation to review. I hope yall liked it. Anyway, I wish I had this up sooner thanks for the read!


	9. Untitled

MURPHY'S POV

Jasper shot him

"No!" Octavia screamed.

Lincoln dropped to the ground, blood gushing from his chest where.

Octavia rushed to him.

Clarke stared wide eyed from beside Jasper, her hands shaking as she dropped her hold of the gun. Bellamy took the gun from Jasper who seemed pretty spooked. He stumbled back, regret spread over his face.

"Octavia, I'm sorry."

She held Lincoln in her arms similar to how she held me. "I love you."

He grinned sheepishly. "I've loved you the moment I saw you." He laughed. "I bet you regret me kidnapping you now?"

She laughed wryly through tears as she shook her head. "No, I don't regret anything."

I had to look away.

After a few moments I heard Octavia say. "Yu gonplei ste odon."

Exerted from standing I fell to the ground. My stomach turned and it felt like I was going to throw up, so I rolled over on my side.

"I'm so sorry. I was after Murphy." Jasper said.

Clarke made sure I got it all out, then helped me drink the water they brought back from the lake before I passed out.

Two months later

"Hey, Murphy." Roma called from the lake. "You want to take a dip?" She took off her top and slowly worked down her pants.

"Uh." My eyes went to Octavia hunting further down the lake.

She changed in the last few months. Before Lincoln died she was halfway supportive of me. Now she was stone cold hearted. No smile, no laughter. Just focused determination on becoming Indra's apprentice. Yeah, I still loved her, but it was hard to continue to love someone who was dead inside. I should know.

Roma looked back at Octavia in question. "Am I walking into something?"

Yes and no. I wasn't a fool, I knew Octavia and I wasn't going to happen. I know she blamed me for Lincoln's death. It was hard not to. I provoked him about being a coward, I got Monty killed, an Jasper was there for my blood.

She couldn't even look at me.

So I looked at Roma. Dark hair and slender, much like Octavia. She was pretty in an innocent way, but the way she casually undressed led me to believe otherwise.

"I can't, Roma. Apologies and all." I gave a wry half smile.

She couldn't hide the disappointment in her eyes as she headed for the water. "No problem."

I went back to washing what little clothes were left, thinking about how I couldn't just jump in with Roma and see what happens. It was abundantly clear that my feelings for Octavia weren't reciprocate, yet I couldn't take that step to move on. Truth be told, I knew I was waiting around for her. You don't just get over someone like Octavia. Maybe this was Karma for all the bad I'd done.

OCTAVIA'S POV

We needed food, so I got more food. I didn't have time to sit around not get stuff done. If I kept busy I was okay, otherwise I was weak and I didn't have time to be weak. My eyes landed on Murphy and Roma chatting on the other side of the lake. Roma seemed to be putting on a show. Not that it bothered me, but he could do way better than Roma. She was passed off as innocent because of her baby doll looks, but she was a skank if there ever was one.

Murphy, he deserved someone and who believed he wasn't the monster he thought he was. A twinge of sadness nestled in my chest. Ever since Lincoln died I hadn't really tried to be around him much and when I was there was radio silence. Like I said I couldn't afford to be weak. The way Murphy used to be with me made me weak.

My focus returned to hunting.

On the walk and my sword ready, I almost chopped off a tree branch at Roma's high pitched laughter. She was almost on top of Murphy with all the touching. A seed of jealousy bloomed as he grinned back at her. She was a weakling, nothing strong about her but her p game.

With a roll of my eyes I put away my sword as I continued behind them.

A week later

I was skinning the camp dinner while Indra talked with Clarke and the council when Roma approached me.

I didn't have the patience to be civil with her. "What do you want?" I sliced as precisely as I could to scare her.

She wasn't hardened by the ground like most of what was left of the hundred. I didn't like her. What had she been doing when the rest of us were surviving? Obviously making googly eyes at Murphy.

She shrank back. "Uh, I just want to check that I'm not stepping on any toes."

I faced her, knowing that my grounder look frightened her. "What?"

Her eyes went to Murphy, who was chatting with my brother and Miller.

Had he put her up to this?

He met my eyes mid sentence and my heart fluttered and I truly understood butterflies in the stomach.

Angry, I rose from my seat, the knife stiff in my hand.

She froze.

"Speak."

"Woah, woah, woah." Murphy came running to her side like she was a damsel in distress.

The thought made me sneer, then he put some distance between her and me, which really was a punch in the gut. I pointed my knife at him without really meaning to. I'd never hurt him, the look in his eyes said otherwise. I lowered the knife.

"Did you put her up to this?" I demanded.

He looked a little shocked that I spoke directly to him.

It had only been a few...months.

"What happened?" I didn't put Roma up to anything."

I hated the way he said her name. I blew out a heavy breath. This was weakness.

"You know what, nevermind."

Roma ran off as I sat down, focused on feeding all these people.

"You know all I've done was wait for you. Now that I've moved on you try to kill her."

I scoffed. "You could do better than dirty Roma. She can't even stand up for herself." The knife flowed smoothly through the meat.

"Not every girl can be you, Octavia."

My motions halted. I reluctantly met those blue blue eyes that used to look at me like I was the only person, the only girl, who he cared about. That was gone now, replaced with empty sorrow. Weakness.

My face hardened. "Do whoever you want, Murphy. It's none of my business, so tell that to the next girl who wants to ask my permission to sleep with you." I spat.

He shook his head then walked off.

MURPHY'S POV

What the hell was Roma thinking by going up to Octavia? We weren't even dating. We weren't even doing anything. Just some harmless flirting. If I hadn't stepped in who's to know if we wouldn't be having Roma for dinner instead of whatever Octavia was skinning.

Octavia really pissed me off. Who was she to act all jealous suddenly? No, it wasn't jealousy. She was bitter. Except for the first few seconds she looked at me, her eyes held the fondness from before everything went to shit, now replaced with anger and resentment.

I understood that she still hadn't forgave me for Lincoln's death, which I could live with, but I didn't want her to continue down this road. That was the first thing Bellamy and I agreed on.

I walked through his door to find Clarke pacing in front of Bellamy who perched on the end of the bed.

"Hey, Clarke."

She stopped pacing to wave at me then went back to it.

Bellamy grinned as he grabbed her waist and pulled her to him. He looked at her with kind eyes. "Princess, you're stressing me out."

She propped her hands on her hips. "I can't help it, Bell. How are we going to convince Indra not to send her people to the City of Light? It's a death trap."

I envied what they had.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go."

They both looked at me. "Huh?" They asked simultaneously.

I've thought about it ever since Jaha brought it up. I shrugged. "I don't know, I just need a change in scenery."

"You mean, you want to get away from Octavia." Bellamy supplied.

Clarke gave me a sympathetic look. "If Indra sends anyone with Jaha, it'll be Octavia."

"I can handle the trek, I just need to get as far away from Octavia as I can."

OCTAVIA'S POV:

"I can handle the trek, I just need to grt as far away from Octavia as I can." Murphy told my brother and Clarke.

My eyes stung in the first time in months and it was all because of stupid Murphy. I came to apologize, to maybe ask him to talk after dinner, but he can forget about it now. I stormed outside and finished dinner.

Indra talked with the other Grounders on camp over dinner. I walked up to them. They acknowledged me with a respectful nod. "You're going with me to the City of Light tomorrow."

"Wait, that's real?"

"We've never heard back from anyone who's gone. The Dead Zone isn't a place you want to get caught in."

Roma and Murphy's laughter from across the camp brought back my anger. "I'll go get supplies for the trip."

She nodded. "Stay alert, Okteivia."

Two Guards followed me. "I can handle it alone."

They came anyway.

Anything to get my mind off of Murphy, which was going to be really hard considering I had to be near him for who knows how long to get to the City of Light.

A blood curdling scream came from the distance. Roma?

I ran towards the sound, praying that Murphy was okay. My heart pounded in my chest.

"Roma?"

She continued to scream. "Help!"

A Reaper had caught her. For a moment I thought I saw Lincoln. One of the Grounders knocked the Reaper back with his sword while the other helped Roma up. She fought of his grasp and hightailed it from us, screaming in terror.

The traps! She didn't know where they were and it was dark.

"Roma?" Murphy called. "Where is she, Octavia? What happened?"

"Hold him back." I told them. I ran after her without acknowledging him. "Roma, stop!"

A thought occurred to me, if I let her go chances were she'd get killed by one of the traps and my problem would go away. Of course, I'd feel crushing guilt, but at least I wouldn't want to rip her face off every time she laughed at something Murphy said. No, that wasn't smart.

"Why are you just standing there? Help her." Murphy demanded.

I stared at him. How had he gotten past the Grounders?

"What are you doing here? It's dangerous."

He pushed past me. "Oh, like you care."

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Listen to me, there are traps out here. You don't know where they are. You have to go back."

He closed the distance. "You don't tell me what to do, Octavia." He tried to go after her again.

My hand pushed him back by his chest. I didn't bother moving it after he was face to face with me. "You can't go out there, do you understand me?"

He looked at me with strange eyes that made my stomach do flips. "Why not?"

I could feel his body heat lap around me, warming me up for the first time in a long time. My eyes dropped to his chest where my hand still was placed. I slid it down to his stomach and let it rest over where the shot used to be before meeting his eyes. Even in the darkness they were still very blue. "You're safe here, so you need to stay here."

"Why do you care if I'm safe or not?"

My hand tightened on his shirt, grabbing a bit of it, then placing it back. "Just stay here."

I ran after Roma.

Not before long she crossed my path. "Roma, calm down! We're here to take you back!"

She shoved me down, surprisingly strong for such a tiny thing, then ran in the direction I just came from. Great, there were at least three traps back there and I wasn't sure how she didn't trip one coming this way.

I ran after her. I was getting really irritated. I didn't want to save her life, let alone run after her. She was coming up close on a trap. "Roma, stop!"

Murphy came into view. "Roma, what happened?"

"Stop!" I yelled. He was near a trap.

He stepped to the side.

"No!"

I pushed him out of the way, which left Roma in the cross hairs of the trap as we fell to the ground. The sharp edges of pikes rammed into her. Blood immediately gushed from her mouth.

Murphy pushed me over on the ground as he rose to try and help her.

I rose. "She's gone. I'm sorry."

He closed her eyes, then looked in my direction with sad eyes. "Help me get her down."

"You know I didn't mean to for her to get hurt, right?"

He ignored me and without another word he carried her back to camp.

I didn't know what to say to him. What could I say? That I thought about letting her die then thought it was a good idea? He couldn't even look at me. If anyone should be mad, it should be me at him. I told him not to go any further because of the traps, but he didn't listen!

Indra met me halfway. She could see the weakness in my eyes. "We'll get supplies in the morning. You should rest."

That's what I did or tried to do for most of the night, but all I could think about was Murphy. I replayed what happened between us over and over until I fell asleep.


	10. Jealous

BELLAMY'S POV:

This wasn't right.

"We can't go," Clarke argued. "The camp needs us."

Jaha shook his head. "Abby and Kane can handle it here."

Clarke closed the distance between them, her authority rearing it's head.

"The Commander trusts me more. Like I said, we're not going on a suicide mission. You clear on that?"

"If my people want to go you can't stop us, you're not the Chancellor, Clarke."

I could see her back tense up.

"I'm in charge over the thirty seven, you're not taking any of my people on a fantasy trek through the desert."

"John wants to go willingly and Octavia is under Indra's influence. They're all I need."

"If you die out there then that's on us. I'm not okay with that."

He nodded. "And I hear you, Clarke, but if we don't try to find a better solution then what are we even fighting for? There has to be somewhere better than this."

Her hand ran down her hair. "Fine, but if Murphy or Octavia die out there, their blood will be on your hands."

"Noted." He left.

She huffed then propped her hand on her hip.

I couldn't help the smile on my face. My girl's a badass.

My arms wrapped around her waist while my face buried in between her neck, lightly kissing her.

"You're not supposed to use seduction to distract me." The smile evident in her voice.

"I'm not trying to persuade you, you're right. That trip isn't going to end well. I just want to kiss my girlfriend."

She turned in my arms, her arms draped over my shoulders. "I never said I was your girlfriend."

"Okay, you're my woman then."

Her eyes held that sexy authority, her lips held a smirk. "Go ahead then, kiss me."

"I love it when you're bossy."

She laughed. "I know, so what are you going to do about it?"

She didn't have to tell me twice. My lips sought hers, her tongue sought mine. She backed us into the bed, then pushed me down. Her ocean blue eyes held hunger before she jumped on me. My shirt was the first to go, her hands were everywhere.

I tore away from our kiss. "You know, I'm beginning to feel like all I am to you is a piece of meat."

"Aw." Her eyes mocked me. "You'll get over it."

I gave her a hurt look which she laughed at.

"Ahem."

Clarke turned to look at who I knew had to be Abby. Perfect. She already doesn't like me.

Instinctively, I threw Clarke off of me, she fell to the ground and shot me a glare. "No, I will not have sex with you."

I put on my shirt as she stood.

"Hey, mom. What's up?"

She stared at me long and hard. "I don't know, you tell me, Bellamy."

My hands shot to my pants, covering it from her scrutiny.

"Mom." Clarke stood in front of me. "What's going on?"

Abby lo oked at her daughter like she didn't recognize her. There was a lot of that going around lately.

"I just spoke with Thelonious, I think it's a good idea that someone else goes along with him. As much-"

"Hey," Finn walked in like everything was normal. "Jaha told me about the trek.

I moved towards him, worry setting in.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke asked him. "The Grounders could see you."

"It's okay, Princess." He held up his hand as a sign of peace as he grinned at her.

My blood boiled.

CLARKE'S POV:

Finn stood before me after three months of what was supposed to be his escape.

Bellamy's hand rested on my waist. I leaned into him.

Finn's smile vanished, he swallowed the lump in his throat. "I-uh...I made a deal with Indra and the Commander. I'm their soldier now."

I blew out a confused breath. "What?" You can't be serious?"

His eyes willed me to understand. "I belong to the Grounder's now. Thirty years in their army." He tried to hide the sadness in his voice.

He looked about as thrilled at the idea as I was. He was allowed to come back to us, but at what price? I could only imagine how he must've felt. Finn was a pacifist after all. Now he was fate to kill and be reminded of his treachery for thirty years.

My hand sought Bellamy's in comfort, his fingers laced through mine.

"I'm sorry."

He gave a slight shake of his head and waved it off. "I deserve it."

Well, yeah.

"I want to go with Jaha." He added.

"Sure thing. They're leaving soon. You can catch them if you hurry." I told him.

Clarke cut her eye at me, then looked back at Finn. "It's not a matter of not wanting to find better, but not wasting resources we don't have on a maybe."

"You can't stop me, Clarke."

"I know, just be careful." I stepped toward him, letting go of Bellamy's hand to hug Finn.

He pulled me to him tight, his mouth near my ear. "I'm sorry."

"I know and I forgive you." I whispered back before pulling away.

He headed for the door with a nod goodbye and completely ignored Bellamy.

My mom cleared her throat. "I'm going to talk with the Commander about what we should do about the rest of the Mountain Men. We can't keep them locked up forever." She gave me a knowing look, then glanced at Bellamy before leaving.

Hesitantly, I turned toward him, nervous he'd be angry or jealous. I didn't expect to find him just standing there, looking nonchalant.

"What?" He asked.

"You're not angry?" I assessed him. "Not even a little bit jealous?"

His eyes narrowed. "Should I be?"

God, he was so cute.

"No, it was just a hug." I rationalized.

"Okay." He shrugged.

My eyes grew. "Okay? That's it?"

He grinned. "What do you want me to do? Go beat him up?"

"Well..."

He laughed as he pulled me to him. "You told me I had nothing to worry about and I believe you." He kissed my forehead. "But if he tries to make a move I can't make any promises."

When it came to Bellamy, there were certain bodily reactions I couldn't control. My smile couldn't be tamed.

"Let's go flaunt you around." He put his arm around my shoulder.

"You're pretty hot yourself." I grabbed his package without really thinking about it.

He instantly hardened in my hand. A sly grin played on his lips when I didn't remove my hand. "You don't want your mom to catch us like this do you?"

"I could care less if my mother doesn't approve of us, I'm going to see whoever I want."

His big brown eyes gazed into mine, slipping to my lips. "Careful, Princess. You don't want to start anything you can't finish. I've already gotten blue balls around you more times than I can count."

I removed my hand. "You're so romantic." My voice laced with sarcasm as I tried to to act like hearing him say that didn't affect me.

His lips slid down my ear, his breath heavy, sending sparks all down my body. "Trust me, when I take you to bed, you won't be thinking about romance."

A heavy sigh slipped out as he moved behind me, his big strong hands slowly ran down my body while his nose traced my neck. Nerve endings I didn't even know I had sparked as his breath splayed across my skin.

"Please, let that be soon."

His lips grinned against my ear. "You begging for my body, Princess?" His hips pressed into me.

Another involuntary moan left my lips. "God, yes."

He chuckled and the deep gravely sound of his voice made my thighs squeeze together.

"Now, who's giving whom blue balls?"

He grinned. "If that were true, we'd be having a different conversation, Prince." He left me as he headed for the exit.

"Cute." I turned to him.

He winked as he held his hand out for me.

I took his hand. "I love you."

"Oh, I know." He said cockily.

I pinched his nipple.

He squealed. "Ouch." His free hand rubbed his pec.

"That's what you get for being a douche." Then I felt bad as those big puppy dog eyes gazed down at me. I kissed his nipple through his shirt. "Sorry." I apologized.

His eyes held admiration, his lips held a trace of happiness. "I love you, too, Clarke."

My heart melted.

"Let's go."

I followed him, worrying that he could break my heart at any moment, but this was Bellamy. He cared about me. We needed each other.

OCTAVIA'S POV:

The sun beat down on our backs, weighing us down. It didn't help that most of wore dark clothing. My throat had passed the point of desert dry from lack of water. We all had to make what we had last.

Indra and I walked side by side. As usual, she spoke to me in Trigedasleng, then in English so I'd pick it up faster. She was full of trade secrets and techniques I had yet to learn. Anything that kept us alive and kept my mind off of Murphy helped.

My eyes involuntarily found him walking along side Jaha and a few others. Jaha had this cool walking stick I kind of envied. They were into deep conversation until Caspian bumped into Murphy.

He turned to Caspian, that cold look in his eyes that he used to carry so often. "Bump into me again and I'll end you."

That wasn't who Murphy was. What had made him backtrack?

He glanced at Jaha, then back at Caspian. "In a non-criminal way."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me.

Indra stepped in my line of sight, a scowl on her face. "Your feelings for that boy is a distraction. You've come so far to let a distraction hinder your potential."

The remnants of my laughter faded quickly as I slapped a stoic look on my face with a curt nod. We marched on. My anger from the Guard that attempted to rape me, Lincoln's death, and my inconvenient feelings for Murphy fueling my fire. I wanted to fight through all of that. I needed to.

Some time later, we came across a wagon of sorts. I didn't see how that wouldn't slow us down. A few of the men headed towards it only to have a Grounder jump out. Everyone drew their weapons.

What was obviously a woman, she told us to stay back or she'd kill us in Trigedasleng, I doubt anyone besides Indra and I and the two other Grounders understood, but her death grip on the makeshift knife was universal.

Jaha spoke on our behalf. "We mean you no harm. Do you speak English?"

"What do you want?" She asked.

"Nothing. It looks like you could use a hang. What are you doing out here alone?"

She stowed her weapon and unmasked her face. Olive complexion, brown hair, and face tattoo. She was gorgeous.

"My brother and I were on our way to the City of Light when we were attacked. They took our horse. All our water. Everything. They killed him." She had a faraway look in her caramel eyes. "This cart is all I have left."

"Give her some water." Jaha spoke to Murphy.

Caspian intervened. "We barely have enough for ourselves."

Murphy ignored him and headed for the woman.

"Caspian's right." I spoke up. "No offense, but we don't know you."

Murphy rolled his eyes as he handed her the water jug.

She assessed him warily.

"It's okay."

She grabbed it and drank eagerly, her cloth wrapped hand holding it in the air.

"We're our way to the City of Light, as well." Jaha informed her. "What's your name?"

"Emori." She told us skeptically. "Everyone in the Dead Zone is looking for the City of Light. Almost no one finds it. I could get you there...if you pull my cart."

I locked eyes with Indra. She, too, didn't seem fond of this new alliance.

"Done," Jaha called for Caspian. "You're on the first shift."

Emori handed the jug back to Murphy. "Thanks for the water."

He stammered. "It's no problem." He grinned at her after she turned ahead.

My eyes couldn't roll hard enough.

Indra spoke of their history, as if I didn't already know it. No matter how hard I tried to focus I kept peeking over at Murphy and Emori. They seemed pretty chummy for the past half hour or so. His hands shoved into his pants pocket as they strolled about nonchalantly. Not that I was jealous. There was no need to have a green eyed monster clawing it's way out of me because he was talking to a girl. I mean, it's not like he was going to fall in love with her or anything. I mean, come on.

"I don't trust her." I told Indra.

She stared at me blankly. "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

I huffed, irritated beyond belief. "What are we going to do about Emori?" I nodded in their direction. "How long has she been out here? Why wouldn't she just leave the cart? If it's survival, it's just a cart. Why didn't they kill her?"

Indra grunted. "I've thought about all of that. Time will tell. It's best not to rise suspicion. What are you doing, Octavia?" Her hand wrapped around my arm and yanked me back.

"She could be dangerous."

"She's one of us, of course she's dangerous."

My mouth set into a frown. "I'm not going to let her hurt Murphy."

Disappointment sat in her eyes. "So far, he's the only the one she seems to like. We can use that."

Anger coursed through me. "Not if he's dead, we can't."

"Love is weakness, Octavia. You'd do well to remember that." She stalked past me.

I noticed that Murphy and Emori stopped behind. She pulled off her makeshift glove. Even from this distance I could see he hand was deformed from radiation, which was enough to freak me out into walking ahead.

The sun was getting low in the sky, leaving us with only an hour or so left of daylight. A break from the blistering heat would be nice.

The sound of an animal ahead caught my attention. A man with what appeared to be a tiny missile aimed at us on horse caused us to halt.

"That's far enough." He spoke in Trigedasleng. "Nobody move.

Murphy and Emori set down the cart. My hand went for my sword as she moved closer to Murphy, her knife in hand.

"Hold your fire." Jaha demanded.

She brought the knife to his throat and moved forward. "Everybody put your weapons and supplies in the cart and nobody gets hurt."

I moved for them, my weapon ready for some action as red hot anger fueled me. I knew we couldn't trust this bitch.

"Stop right there." She warned, the knife pressed deeper into his neck, drawing a bead of blood.

The sight of the red substance pushed me forward as I sneered at her. "Let him go!" I demanded in Trigedasleng.

"Octavia," Someone warned.

I was too focused on Emori holding the life of Murphy in her hands to know who spoke.

"Back up or I'll cut his throat from ear to ear." She threatened.

"Do it and I'll rip you limb from limb!" My hand gripped the handle of the sword so hard my fingers hurt, but I ignored the pain.

She smirked. "And risk the lives of the rest of your people?"

"I could care less about their lives." I took another step toward them. "Now let him go. I won't ask again." I glared daggers at her.

She shoved him to the ground and backed away cautiously, heading for her brother on the horse. Her eyes found Murphy's before fleeing, she sent him a silent apology as I moved to shield him.

A big part of me wanted to go after her, guns firing, but there was no need for unnecessary bloodshed. Who was I kidding? I wanted to kill her.

When they were gone I turned to Murphy. My hand reaching down to help him up. His hand locked onto mine, the first contact in months and it had me weak in the knees. His danger blue eyes held confusion, but also gratitude.

I turned to Indra only to have everyone staring at me with a mixture of offended and impressed expressions.

"Does anyone have anything to say?" I demanded.

Silence.

"Thank you." Murphy said.

My eyes went to him, recognizing the butterflies in the stomach feeling for what it was. I nodded, not wanting to look him in the eye.

Indra started ahead. A mixture of pride and disappointment wafting off of her. Great.

FINN'S POV:

My eyes felt heavy as I cried for the billionth time against this tree. There was no surviving this. Even if I was accepted back with my people I wouldn't want to. Eighteen dead. Killed in cold blood. Blood that was still on my hands and no amount of scrubbing would wash it away. The scars on my hands proved that.

Clarke would never forgive me, I could see it in her eyes.

I could only use the excuse that it was all to find her for only so long. The truth was I snapped. And I'm not sure I ever unsnapped. Why couldn't it be over? Why couldn't I have turned myself in and let them give me the death of the eighteen like I deserved?

Guilt racked through me. It was all I thought about. Blood. Eighteen. Dead. My fault. Blood. Eighteen. Dead. My fault.

The sky opened up in time chill be to the bone as I shook in desperation. I needed it to be over. I was a coward and cowards gave up easily. Who would miss a murderer? More people would show up to Murphy's funeral then mine, which didn't help to alleviate the unbearable disgust in the empty pit of my stomach.

The rain beat on me long enough before I dragged myself to my feet. My body felt sluggish as I pushed forward, hoping a spear would pin me to a tree or a trap would end it all. Unluckily that didn't happen. So my next option was to continue on to the cliff I passed a few days ago. Time dragged on endlessly before I found it. If I was patient, I'd take off the jacket and shoes and wait for Hyperthermia to set in, but I wasn't patient. This had to end.

My foot kicked off a few pebbles as I peered over the cliff and into the darkness. A peaceful solution. It'd all be over and I wouldn't have to feel the pain, the guilt. It'd just shut off.

A smile fell on my lips as I spread my arms and looked to the sky before stepping out into the abyss. My body went into panic mode, knowing it was in imminent danger, but I knew it was okay as I waited for it all to stop. A sharp pain spiked through my body as it hit the side of the mountain. The last thing I felt was the impact.

My eyes flicked open. I coughed, the blood thick in my mouth. I felt bile rise in my throat.

No. No, I was supposed to be dead! How was I alive? A fall like that, it should've killed me on impact.

I groaned as I realized I was draped over someone's shoulder, the bone in their arm hurt my stomach.

"Go back to sleep." A deep voice spoke.

The movement lulled me back to the darkness.

The feel of a wet cloth on my forehead and clinking noises stirred me. I groaned. My whole body ached and I was convinced at least half of my bones were broken or fractured. Great, now I was an invalid. Why couldn't I have died? This had to be karma.

My eyes looked around, only catching the ceiling made out of sticks. The air was damp. I layed on a makeshift bed that was actually very comfortable.

"You're awake." The same voice from earlier said.

I was to o afraid to move, so I waited until he was in eyesight.

A tall male in his mid twenties sat beside me on bed. His face tan with a stubbly dimpled chin and what looked to be green eyes and dark brown hair. In his hands he held a bowl of something much like soap.

"Eat."

"You don't know who I am, do you?" His eyes darkened. "I know who you are, Redshirt."

"Then why are you trying to save my life? I killed your people."

He ignored my question as he shoved the bowl into my hands. "Why'd you try to kill yourself?"

"I thought it'd be obvious."

His green eyes stared at me intently, as if to figure me out. "If I hadn't been walking through the area, you'd be dead for sure."

I was taken aback by how deep his voice was. "Thanks for the hospitality, but I should be going." I tried to get up, but my muscles screamed at me. I realized the whole place was a dome of sticks.

His hand pushed me back down, staying on my chest a moment too long before removing it. "You need to rest and heal. Eat."

I eyed the bowl. It smelled funky. "What is it?" Not that I was going to eat it.

"It'll help with the internal damage. Old recipe." He encouraged before standing and walking over to something out of my eyeline. He was broad shouldered and muscled, no doubt underneath his black shirt and pants.

"This goes without saying, but thank you. You didn't have to help me out. I was okay with dying."

"Was?" He arched a brow as he handed me a cup of water.

"I still am." I assured hastily.

He nodded. "Just not tonight." His green eyes persuaded.

He had gone through all this trouble, no doubt wasting his resources on me. The least I could do was eat whatever he gave me. I picked up the bowl and stared at it. Now or never.

He intently stared at me as I ate, his forehead creased.

"What can I call you?" I asked him.

"Eli."

Nice enough name.

He nodded in my direction. "And you?"

"Finn."

He smirked as he flipped the rag on my forehead. "Well, Finn. As long as you don't try to kill me, too, we won't have a problem." A hint of a smile played on his lips.

My face heated up as I focused on eating whatever was in the bowl

A/N: I thought I'd bring Finn in, not as a love interest for Clarke, but because I thought I could play around with his character and hopefully make him likable. Also, if anyone was confused, Finn's pov was three months ago, so this is really like a flashback, but I didn't want to label it was a flashback for some reason. I don't know, I'm weird haha. Hope you like the Bellarke and Moctavia parts. :) Thanks for reading.

Also, in case some of you didn't realize, all of my chapter titles have been named after songs. This chapter was Nick Jonas - Jealous. Don't judge me yall


	11. Shame Shame

The song for this chapter is Jessica Breanne & The Electric Hearts - Shame Shame  
Thanks to those of you who reviewed my fic, much appreciated! Also, I think I'm going to start putting a link of bellarke fan vids at the beginning of chapters. This one was amazing! watch?v=Rw_MxG_tQns

CLARKE'S POV:

With everything going on I needed a breath of fresh air. The irony made me grin as I sat down on a random log. A heavy sigh left me as my mind wandered a mile a minute. Lexa kissed me and I kissed her back. Guilt racked in me while tears stung my eyes. How could I do that to Bellamy?

Bellamy, who was so supportive and caring. He was one of the few people I trusted with my life. I loved him. I went to bed with him on my mind and woke up with wrapped in his arms. The last few days whenever we were in the same room together I could barely talk to him, let alone look at him. I knew the moment I gazed into those puppy dog brown eyes I'd be done. Bellamy's going to hate me when he finds out. I had to tell him, but I didn't want to hurt him.

I fell back on the hard ground that was elevated higher than my head, I could care less if dirt got in my hair. Why did bad things have to keep happening? On the Ark, things weren't peachy, but they were never this bad. I couldn't help but think what would've happened if I had never challenged Bellamy's authority when we first landed. What kind of relationship would we have had? Would Wells still be alive? My heart ached for my missed lifelong best friend. He'd tell me that it wasn't all bad, he'd make me believe in myself again. Regret joined the guilt. All I had to remember him by was my plea for his forgiveness.

A snap came from nearby, calling my attention as I sat up.

Bellamy came into view, his face filled with agitation and wonder, his body stiff as he stared at me. "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you or are you going to keep avoiding me?"

I couldn't help but look away from him as my face crumbled. I couldn't do this. I couldn't look at him and tell him I broke our trust. I wasn't ready to lose him. I'd lost so many people so far and I couldn't lose him.

His weight shifted the log just as he took me into his arms, rocking me back and forth.

Bellamy wasn't one to baby me and I wasn't one to let him, but at this moment I appreciated it. I needed it. I needed him. My hand wrapped around his bicep, needing more contact. After the crying stopped he pulled away to look me in the eyes.

"Tell me what's going on, Princess."

"I don't want to lose you, Bell." I muttered, pleading with my eyes.

Those brown eyes took on a whole other level of worried. "What did you do?" His tone curious.

I stood and he followed. "Lexa..." My throat felt really dry. "Kissed me."

He looked relieved. "I thought something happened with Finn." He waved it off. "As long as it wasn't reciprocated." He moved for me.

I side stepped him, my face fallen.

"You kissed her back?"

I nodded, shame pouring out of me.

"Look at me!"

I jumped as I met his eyes, anger evident in them. Not just anger, betrayal, sadness.

"Please, don't be mad."

His eyes widened. "Are you kidding me, Clarke? You kissed someone else and I don't have a right to be mad?"

Point taken.

"I didn't start it, if it helps." I threw out there, hoping for brownie points.

"When did it happen?"

I couldn't look at him for this, I focused on a tree off in the distance. "A few days ago. I couldn't tell you."

"You couldn't tell me?" Disappointment rang in his voice. "Besides when we first got here, since when have you not been able to talk to me? I'm here for you. I've been here for you, Clarke." He huffed and walked a few feet away, then came back. "I knew this wouldn't work out. I've always loved you more than you loved me." He started off.

"No," I grabbed his arm. "Please, don't leave like this."

He turned those angry eyes on me with a look I hadn't ever seen, including the first few weeks down here. "You and me, we're done." He shrugged me off like I didn't matter.

No. No. This can't be happening.

Fresh tears pricked my eyes. "Bellamy-"

"Just stop, Clarke!" He interrupted before reaching into his jacket pocket and producing a watch.

My father's watch. I thought that was gone for good.

Bellamy threw it to my feet before stalking off.

My heart thumped heavily in my chest, my stomach felt like it was going to rise into my throat as I fell to the ground. Uncontrollable sobs racked through me. I had lost the only thing that kept me going.

BELLAMY'S POV:

Rage filled me as I hunted the camp for Lexa. I knew she was there for a council meeting. A big part of me knew I couldn't really hurt her like I wanted to because she was The Commander and a woman, but I wanted to end her for making a move on my Princess.

Immediately after, I regretted speaking to Clarke like I did. It wasn't okay in any shape or form and I just left her in the middle of the woods to cry. I was scum, but my need to confront Lexa about stepping onto my territory controlled me. Maybe I was being too alpha male, but I worked hard, risked my life to be with Clarke and Lexa's just going to come in a take her away from me? Not going to happen. Assuming Clarke would forgive me for earlier, I was going to keep her beside me as long as I could.

I entered the tent I saw them congregate in before I went to find Clarke. Her, Abby, Kane, and the rest of the council and a few Grounders looked up at my entrance.

"Bellamy, do you need something?" Abby asked.

"You," I pointed to Lexa. "Outside now."

"Excuse me? I don't take orders from-"

"You kissed my girlfriend so today you will."

If the air wasn't already tense it sure thickened with the deafening silence.

She nodded at her guardsmen then followed me outside. She glared at me. "Who do you think you are? Speaking to me like that?"

My finger stiffly wagged in her face. "You knew we were together and you went after her anyway. You think you're just going to steal her away with a kiss or two? She feels nothing for you."

She leaned in. "Then why'd she kiss me back?" She smirked.

Doubt ebbed in me. For the first time I realized that even if I begged for forgiveness, Clarke might not want to get back together. What if she did have feelings for Lexa? Why would she kiss her back if she didn't? If it was just by instinct, why wouldn't she tell me?

"You're wrong." I spat. "You try anything else I'll end you myself!"

She sneered. "In case you didn't know, I'm in charge and one word from me would put my army against yours and we both know who's got the bigger ball in their court." She said satisfied with her innuendo. "That's right, Bellamy. I'm going after Clarke because I can and there's nothing you can do about it if you don't want a massacre on your hands."

My hands balled into fists at my side. I'm pretty sure heat was steaming from me as I prepared to light her fire.

"Everything alright out here?" Abby popped outside.

"Fine." Lexa went back inside.

I shook my hands out and stomped away.

"Hey," Abby called.

I kept walking. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her disapproval of me.

"I'm talking to you, Bellamy."

I turned to meet her. "Can you spare me a speech of motherly condemnation? I've already lost Clarke, what more do you want from? What else do I have to do to make you like me?" I huffed, running my hand down my face.

Part of me knew that I got so upset because I knew I wasn't good enough for Clarke and I knew Abby could see that. I was bound in my alpha male, violent ways and Clarke deserved so much better than what I could offer her. Someone like Finn. Abby would never approve of us, she hated me. How could Clarke really be happy with someone her mother didn't approve of? I gave her an easy out.

Abby gave a curt nod. "What happened?"

I motioned toward the tent. "Why don't you go ask your drinking buddy? If she's not too busy she's probably laying one on Clarke."

She cracked a half grin.

"This is funny? You think this is funny?"

"Bellamy, I'm only going to say this once, so hear me; You're overreacting."

Did I just hear correctly?

"Huh?"

"Clarke and Lexa may have kissed, but you're the one I catch her staring at when you're not looking. You're the one that makes her laugh and smile, which I've found hard to do since coming down here. And you're the one she feels safest with. She loves you, not Lexa, so don't let this get out of hand before it's too late."

All I could do was stare at Abby. She hadn't said once nice thing to me since finding out I was courting her daughter. Do people still say that?

"Why are you helping me with this? I thought you didn't want us together?"

She half shrugged. "I want my daughter to be happy and it's evident that you're that happiness in her life that I could never be. I may have been a little jealous, but I see that you're not such a bad guy, considering."

Approval?

I hadn't expected this to come so soon or at all. Did this change things?

"Where's Clarke anyway?"

With the little leeway I had made with Abby I didn't want to ruin it by telling her I yelled violently at her daughter and left her in the woods when she clearly needed me to tell her it was okay.

I avoided her eyes. "I'm going to go find her."

Her eyes narrowed. "You do that."

ABBY'S POV:

As I watched Bellamy run after my daughter, a sense of pride washed through me. My daughter's love life was forever confusing, in the short time they've been down her she's seemed to peak interest in Finn, Bellamy, and Lexa. I didn't know whether to be proud of her or worried. I knew she could handle it all, maybe she didn't make the best choices, but considering the circumstances they were forced into I know she did the best she could.

I felt rather than saw Kane behind me as Bellamy went out of view.

"He's so much like you were, Marcus." I turned to him. My mind going back to our somewhat crazed teenager days.

He turned his brown eyes on me, eyes much like Bellamy's. They told me what I already knew.

I patted his shoulder firmly. "If it were me, I'd hope my father would give me advice. Be there for me."

"You know I can't tell him. Even if he'd want a relationship, how would he forgive me for floating his mother?"

"If you don't tell him, you'll regret it." I headed back into the tent to let Marcus decide what would change his life forever.

MURPHY'S POV:

Everything kept playing over in my mind; Emori talking with me, the man on the horse, her knife pressed into my neck, and the one thing that stuck the most was Octavia ready to kick her ass. That was the biggest question mark of all.

The last we interacted, she practically killed me with her eyes and accidentally got Roma killed, which I was kind of torn up about. In the time that we spent getting to know each other she was pretty cool, but she knew I still harbored feelings for Octavia.

The sun was close to setting and I couldn't be more relieved to get a break from the heat. I was ready for the desert night chill.

"Hey," Caspian called, walking up beside me.

I cut my eye at him. "What?" I demanded.

"You and little miss Grounder Princess over there, huh? She's hot, sure doesn't look sixteen to me." He elbowed me with a grin.

My patience was waning at is is. "You talk about her like that again, I'll rip off your junk and beat you to death with it."

He stared at me in silence before walking away. Smart choice.

Well, here goes nothing. If I was wrong about Octavia forgiving me then she'd likely give me the same treatment Emori did.

She ignored me as I strode beside her.

"You know you didn't have to do that for me." I told her.

"It was instinct, I had no control over it."

My brow rose. "Since when?"

"Do we really have to have this conversation?"

"I guess not, but this is one of the few times you've talked to me in months, so if you don't mind."

She continued to walk in silence, her face a mask of controlled emotion that didn't give anything away, but her tense body told me otherwise.

"How'd you go Grounder on her ass so fast? I mean, by the time she had me at knife point you were ready to go down swinging."

She stopped walking finally turned her hazel eyes on me. "Do you want me to tell you I was watching you with her? Because I was. Are you satisfied now?"

"Not really," I gave a half grin.

She rolled her eyes and continued on. "You know, you seem to have a type."  
"You caught onto that, did you?"

"Should I be concerned?"

I laughed. "No." I gazed at her, even dusty and lips peeling she was still so stunning. Her eyes meet mine and for the first time in a long time they didn't look away after a few seconds. "You know, no girl's ever going to be quite like you, O."

She tried to remove the emotion off her face that what I said affected her before I could notice, but I saw it real good. "John..."

That was the second time she said my first name, both times in an attempt to stop me from some personal interaction. There was begging in her eyes. Did she have feelings for me? If she did, I'd let her tell me on her own terms.

"You know, you can hide behind this Grounder facade all you want, but I know you. This may be the new you, but you're still the same Octavia I fell for. Please, don't shut me out anymore."

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Her voice all of a sudden angry.

My eyes searched her face. "What are you talking about?"

"'I can handle the trek, I just need to get as far away from Octavia as I can.' The words from your mouth."

I sighed. "Of course, you overheard that. Look, that's not what I meant. I just..."

"You needed time away from me. So let me help you out." She marched ahead and I knew it was best to leave her alone. For now.

Me and my big mouth.

I sighed. What can you do?

CLARKE'S POV:

Get up, I told myself. You're not a coward. One person doesn't define you.

Bellamy's inevitable rejection left me lifeless and alone on the cold hard ground. Anger spiked through me. That son of a bitch! How could he do this to me? I was going to give him a ear full he'd never forget. I gave a harsh satisfied breath.

All I had to do was get up and dust myself off.

I screamed as a tightening around my neck harshly yanked me back as my hands tried to pry the hard plastic cord away while trying to get air to my brain before passing into the darkness.

BELLAMY'S POV:

A scream came from far into the distance. Clarke's scream.

Panic ebbed in me.

"Clarke?!" I ran towards where I thought she was.

Empty green woods surrounded me for yards. Did I go the right way? Now was not the time to get turned around. Something was wrong. I could feel it, that she wasn't alright just as clear as I could see the sky.

"Clarke?!" I bellowed.

Only the sounds of the woods answered me as my heart sank in my stomach. This can't be happening, not now. Not when the last thing I said to her was 'we're done'. I couldn't have her thinking I hated her if I never saw her again. No, I mentally kicked myself. Don't think like that. She had to be around here somewhere. Maybe she had just fallen over a branch or something. No, a scream like that demanded panic.

"CLARKE?!"

With no answer I fell to my knees, anger and heartache yanking at my mind as I screamed for her, knowing I'd lost her, and not knowing if I'd get her back.

For the second time in a long time, I let myself think of my mother. How I ached for her to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. Thanks to Jaha and Kane she could never do that again.

The only thing that I could do was focus my anger. It was the only thing I had control of. He'd suffer for what he did to me, to my family. I wanted so badly to watch the life drain from his eyes as I slit his throat.

I rose to my feet, my knuckles stretched white over the knife in my hand as I headed for the one person who could answer for my pain. I didn't care if he was on the council, or the previous Chancellor. Kane would get what was coming for him.

JASPER'S POV: Today was going to be a good day, I told myself.

Three months had gone by while I was in confinement. Three months of being locked up, three months of getting therapy, and three months of my best friend being dead.

I no longer blamed Murphy, I knew full well that the events that happened that day were out of his control, that he was trying to help us survive. I couldn't hold him responsible. I just want to apologize to everybody and move on. Being locked up for that long changes you, not in the same way Mount Weather did. This was hours and hours of reflection and silence. It was enough to drive me mad, but I held on because I knew Monty would've wanted me to bounce back on my feet.

So I plastered on a smile that didn't reach my eyes when I entered the engineering station, hoping to find Raven. She was the only one on camp and I could use the work to distract myself.

Wick had his arm propped on Raven's shoulder as they inspected the blueprints on the table. They looked up at my entrance and Wick removed his arm as they both straightened up.

"Jasper," Raven moved around the table. She brought me into a hug, which I hadn't been expecting. "I'm so glad you're out."

I squeezed her back, female contact felt nice after three months of male therapists and doctors.

"You're not mad at me?" I looked at Wick for a moment before returning to Raven.

She pulled away with a half smirk. "For what? Shooting Murphy? I only wished I had first."

I glanced down at her leg brace, completely forgetting about it in lock up. She didn't look too torn up about it anymore. She was definitely stronger than me, I could tell you that.

"How is he? I wanted to go talk with him, but apparently everyone left."

She rolled her brown eyes. "Jaha has them convinced The City of Light is real. Indra wouldn't let him go alone, so naturally Octavia followed." She spoke with fondness of both girls.

I nodded. "When did they say they'll be back?"

"Apparently, a place called The Dead Zone isn't very safe." Wick chimed in. "We don't know if they're even going to make it there, if it's not a fairy tale land."

Raven looked sorrowful. "They'll be back." Determination in her voice.

"So, what can I help with?" I headed for the table.

"Easy there, Michael Faraday." She sidestepped me. "You're fresh out. Don't you think you need time to get back into the swing of things?" She asked.

"The best way for me to get back into the swing of things is for me to help us survive, not getting used to the accusatory looks and fake smiles. Let me help you guys."

She glanced back at Wick for confirmation, he winked at her, which made her turn around quick. I noticed a hint of redness in her face, but I wasn't surprised. Those two had crazy chemistry between them back up in space, no pun intended.

"Sure."

"Great." I could feel the relief on my face. "What are we working on?"

OCTAVIA'S POV:

I walked aimlessly through the sand, my focus on what awaited us once we found The City of Light. Indra was letting me have time to myself, but I knew that would stop as soon as we found or didn't find what we were looking for.

Laughing caught my attention. Murphy threatened the guy to shut up, but he kept going. Everyone was annoyed with this guy.

I rolled my eyes. He got whatever was coming to him.

The blast sent me flying back, the heat nearly charing me alive. My heart sunk in my chest.

"Murphy!"

"Octavia! Stop!" Jaha scolded.

The explosion had happened right where he was standing. The smoke too thick to see past the body parts scattered around us. A hand grabbed mine, which made me jump. I looked down to see Murphy coughing heavily. I knelt to him, checking to make sure he was okay.

A girl screamed and a half a second later she was blown to bits.

I covered myself over Murphy.

"No one move," Jaha instructed.

"This land is mined." Indra announced.

"We're going to have to wait out the night so we can see them. Everyone, try to stay where you are." He added.

I relaxed as I carefully scooched down so I wasn't laying on top of Murphy's head, realizing I couldn't move away from Murphy all night if I wanted to live. His hands rested on my hips as our eyes meet and my breath left me at our closeness.

He rested his arm behind his head, propping him up a little so he could look at me. "Now you can't run away from me, Little Blake." He spoke in hushed tones.

I tried to fight the smile, but when he saw it he grinned. "Shut up." I whispered back, not wanting everyone to hear us.

"I missed you, too."

I folded my arms over his chest and rested my head on top of them as I looked at him. "I never said I missed you." My voice playful.

"You didn't have to."

We just gazed at each other for awhile, neither of us saying a word. I let myself enjoy this, enjoy being this close to him because tomorrow I had to be strong again. So I let my head rest on his chest, my hand rested over his beating heart as his hands rested on my back, making me feel safe. The sound lulled me to sleep.


	12. Untitled

The song for this chapter is Untitled - Interpol watch?v=Qm2oBSCtImg

BELLAMY'S POV:

"Kane!" I marched up to him.

He turned to me from speaking with Sinclair. Bewilderment registered in his eyes at the sight of the knife. "What's going on, Bellamy?"

Sinclair held his hands up in peace while Kane stepped toward me. "We can talk about this in private."

"What's the point? Everyone knows."

A few of the Guardsmen had taken notice of our interaction, their weapons raised. "Put it down, Blake." One of them instructed.

Kane waved them off. "It's okay." He stepped closer to me. "Mr. Blake and I are going to have a talk. Get back to work." He gave me a curt nod then lead the way to the tent then council just convened. He turned to me. "How'd you find out?"

"It wasn't hard to guess. Do you have anything to say to me?"

He huffed, then ran his hand through his dark brown hair. "I honestly never thought we'd have to have this conversation."

"Now's the time to pay the piper." I realized after I said it that it sounded cheesy, but it was too late to take it back without looking stupid.

He leaned against the table, his arms folded across his chest. "So you don't want to talk about it, you don't have any questions?"

I stumbled back, not prepared for that question. If I wanted to say something now was the time. I took a few steps forward and really looked at him. "Why couldn't you just let her live? She didn't hurt anybody, not one single person. She did everything she could to make things better for us and you just floated her."

He blinked rapidly. "Who are you talking about?"

My anger flared. "My mother!" My grip on the knife tightened. "Did you even think what it would be like for me and Octavia? We didn't have anybody else!" I had never allowed myself to think too much about our father because he didn't care enough to stay around. That resentment silently manifested over these years and now I took it out on Kane. "Then you took Octavia away from me and I was alone. I had nothing." I couldn't fight the tears that sprung to my eyes as I sniffed. "And now I have nothing again."

"What do you mean again? What happened when you left?  
"She's gone." I didn't want to believe it, as I told Kane this it made it final.

"Clarke?" He asked, worry thick in his voice.

All of my anger drained away. "I don't know what happened. I searched for her, screamed for her, but she was gone." My shoulders fell. "Who would take her?" I slid to the ground, my knife laid a few feet away.

What was I going to do without her? She was my other half.

"How could I be stupid? I yelled and left her by herself. She wouldn't be gone if I had just listened, if I had forgiven her."

Kane knelt in front of me, his face sympathetic. "Don't put this on yourself, son. You could've been captured along with her. Maybe it was supposed to happen this way, so you could tell us she was missing. We're going to find her."

I looked up at him, noticing something familiar about his eyes, but I couldn't quite place it.

"What's going on in here?" Abby flew in.

Kane rose and went to her. "Let's talk about this outside."

"Why are there Guardsmen ready to shoot this tent to pieces?"

He pushed her out. "Come on."

I had done a lot of wrong when we got down here; making everyone take off the wristbands, torturing Lincoln, and ruining the radio that costed three hundred lives. Out of all that I knew I didn't deserve much, but I didn't deserve Clarke being ripped away from me.

"She what?" Abby nearly yelled.

"Wait wait wait-he's just a kid. He didn't make this happen, Abby. He can't take you blaming you right now."

There was a pause of silence, long enough to stir my curiosity.

"Did you tell him? Is that why you're finally sticking up for him?"

"No, I didn't tell him." He spoke lower.

What were they talking about?

I dusted myself off and wiped my eyes before exiting. "Are we going to go look for her or what?"

OCTAVIA'S POV:

I stirred awake and after a few moments after I realized where I was I looked up to see Murphy sleeping, his face so and not the hardened mask that he usually displayed. A sense of contentment filled me. This was nice. I wouldn't mind waking up like this everyday - woah!

I glanced down at my stomach and his excited johnson. Part of me wanted to be mad, but I couldn't really blame him. This was actually kind of funny. Sure, it kind of killed the romance, but somehow it didn't bother me, so much that I shook him awake with my silent laughter.

He peaked an eye open and took us in. "Woah, Octavia." He pulled me up his body, then groaned. "Not helping at all."

I laughed. "Relax, it's okay."

He looked confused. "What got into you?"

I could think of one thing that I wished got into me. My face flushed and by the smirk on his lips I could tell he knew what I was thinking.

"What's on your mind, O?"

"Nothing." I grinned. "I just woke up and I saw you there," I gazed into his eyes, not sensing any danger in them at all. "And I thought that..." Butterflies danced in my stomach and my nerves got the best of me. "That I'm glad that you're okay, that we're okay."

He stared at me for a few moments before saying, "I'm glad we're okay, too. For a while there, I thought I lost you."

I nodded. "Well, I thought you were going to die, instead Lincoln died and I was trying to be the perfect soldier for Indra. I just-I didn't want to be weak."

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Panic spiked in me. "Oh, nothing important. I just meant I had to be focused, I couldn't let myself get distracted and I should've told you that instead of letting you think I hated you. I never blamed you for Lincoln's death."

"How'd you know I thought that?"

"I know you, Murphy. And I'm sorry."

He pouted. "Well, apology not accepted. You hurt my feelings, Little Blake." He feigned a hurt look and turned his head. "I don't think I want to be your friend, it's not worth this personal trauma."

"Yeah, whatever. You love me." I teased.

His eyes turned to mine. There was a lot of unspoken things between us, but for the most part I could tell what he was feeling by his eyes. They gave everything away. Now they were telling me that he wanted me to say something back.

Did I love Murphy? Yes. Was I in love with him? I still didn't know. There were times when I I had no doubt in mind that I had very real feelings for him that weren't going away, feelings that as much as I didn't want to admit it, I started to feel when I was still with Lincoln. As I looked at him now, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to see where this could go, but this wasn't the right time. As I looked at him now, I knew there was so much I didn't know about him, but that I was willing and ready to know him.

"I can't believe things have changed so much. You know, I'm pretty sure I wanted to violently murder you at one point." I gave a wry grin.

"I'm pretty sure you did, too."

"And now..." I didn't think we could be any different, yet we were more alike than I once wanted to admit.

"And now?"

"Would you just kiss already" Richards asked suddenly.

We looked around, almost everyone was awake and starting to follow Jaha down the trail he forged with his walking stick. Had they been awake this whole time?

I carefully rose, reaching my hand out to Murphy. He strongly grasped it as I pulled him up. Whatever we were, I didn't want us not to be-

"Okteivia." Indra called me, then added a few choice words I didn't care for.

I called back, then turned to back to him. "I want you to know that whatever happens with us that I've never had a friend like you."

There was clear disappointment in his eyes. "Ah, a friend?"

I took his hands in mine. "Yes, a friend. A best friend. Even though I haven't been much of one to you lately. And that's not to say that I think of you as just a friend because I don't. You're much more than that, so please remember that if something happens and I'm not me for a while, okay?"

He gave a slight nod, unsure of what to say. I wasn't sure I've ever seen him speechless. He pulled me close, his arms wrapped around me tightly. I relaxed in his embrace, a smile on my lips as my eyes closed. We stayed like that for a few more moments, then he pulled away.

His eyes gazed into mine. "I know that you're not in the same place as me and I'm okay with that. As long as you understand that I'm not going to let you push me away because you think it makes you weak."

I started to object, but he placed his finger on my mouth.

"I'm going to fight for you, O. Trust me, I know how cheesy that sounds, but I'm not going anywhere, so you're going to have to accept that either way." He moved his finger away.

I nodded. "Okay."

He nodded. "Good."

FINN'S POV: Three months ago

"When do you think I'll be okay to walk again?"

Eli looked me over, his eyes before meeting mine. "A month or two."

My eyebrows shot up. "A month or two?"

He headed over to the kitchen area. "You dropped off a cliff, Redshirt" He said with a hint of amusement. "How long would you think it would take?"

I sighed. "I can't let you take care of me for that long, I don't want to impose."

"I don't mind." He started on dinner. "It's been a while since I've had a man in my bed."

"Oh, um..." I didn't know what to say to that.

He grinned. "Did I surprise you with that?"

I shook my head even though his back was turned to me. "I kind of picked it up. You're not very subtle.

He laughed. "I try not to be."

At least one of us wasn't uncomfortable.

"So you like men." I started. "Is that accepted amongst your people?"

"No, that's why I'm all the way out here."

A twinge of sadness ran through me. How sad his life must've been.

"That's not very progressive."

He smirked. "I'm just messing with you. The Commander's a lesbian herself. It's not uncommon."

A sense of relief tugged at my heart. "Well, then our traditions aren't that different aside from your people being savage."

He tasted the soup that was actually growing on me, then he brought it over. "We've had to be." He agreed. "Imagine your world stopped existing as it had for centuries and you're left with no government, no easily accessible resources, no transportation, nothing. You have to survive together. Sooner or later there's going to be chaos. Someone has to step up. Someone has to make the rules and enforce them. Someone has to keep them safe. Someone has to keep everyone else in check with a firm hand and if they don't then things will fall apart. It would be every man for themselves. Eventually, everyone would become purely animalistic, things like love and companionship wouldn't matter." He continued to stare at me. "Isn't that what you all had to experience when you first landed?"

He was right. That was exactly what we had to endure.

"I never thought of it like that." I told him. "Obviously, not all Grounders all the same." I took the bowl from him, his hand lingering, making sure I had a steady hold on it. I cleared my throat. The contact felt different, not because it was a man, but because it was a man who I was almost sure was attracted to me. Sure, I've met gay guys before, but none of them seemed to be interested in me that way.

"So," I took a sip of the soup. "What's in this stuff? Why don't I feel the pain?"

He gave a tight smile. "If I told you then you wouldn't eat it."

My lips stopped on the bowl, my eyes meeting his. "It's not like bugs or anything gross, is it?"

He grinned. "No." He took the bowl from me. "But if you're worried about sea plants and tiny woodland creatures then I should probably figure out another meal plan."

I grinned. "It's fine. I don't hate it."

"I didn't think so, Redshirt."

I gave him a questioning look. "My shirt's not even red."

He laughed. "What do you want to be called then?"

"My name."

"Finn sounds like a fish."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "I've never gotten that before."

Come to think of it, I didn't like Finn either. It was a tainted name. I looked back at Eli. I don't want to be called Finn anymore."

There was understanding in his green eyes. "We all have baggage. I was kidding about the name." He had a faraway look in his eyes. "It's up to you if you let it carry you down or let you grow."

He was right. Besides it wouldn't matter what I was called, when I healed I'd find my way back to the cliff and finish what I started. I couldn't go on like this. It was too hard.

"You want to talk about it?" He offered.

Even know he knew the gist, did I want the one person that was willing to help me to know how messed up I was?

"Come on." He leaned on his knees. "It might help you."

"Not even a little bit."

"Too bad. I'm already expecting a story."

I shook my head with a wry grin. "Just remember that you opened up this can of worms and I had no intention of bring this up."

He lifted a dark eyebrow. "You jump off a cliff and you expect me not to ask questions?"

He was right again. He took care of me without asking anything in return. The last I could do was answer whatever he asked me.

"Alright." I thought back to the moment when I first met Clarke, how much she looked like light in the darkness the council threw us into. How she challenged Bellamy, how she stood up for herself. How she looked at me those first few days. "When we met, I thought here's the Princess, spoiled and entitled. She's never going to last down here, but Clarke was the first person to step up and try and help us survive. And that's what we did. I got to know her and suddenly everything didn't seem so bad. We slept together and then my girlfriend flew down and I completely screwed everything up. I tried to see where things would go with Clarke and she rejected me, so I tried to make it work with Raven."

He gave a small shrug. "That's not uncommon down here. I'm going to guess that they didn't like that?"

"That wasn't my intention. When Raven and I ended things Clarke and I wanted to start things up again, but then the war kind of got in the way and the mountain men took them. I only wish I knew that before I had eighteen people's blood on my hands. And after that she couldn't even look at me and I couldn't blame her."

"This all happened in a month? You seem to like complicated."

I huffed. "I never wanted it to be complicated. I just wanted to be with Clarke.

He nodded. "And now?"

"Now, I'm here with you and she's over there with Bellamy."

Interest darkened his eyes. "Is that the hot tan guy with the dark shaggy hair?"

I nodded.

"He's not too bad looking."

"Gross. He's a major dick. He likes her and it's obvious to everyone but her." Just thinking about them angered me. "You couldn't write the tension between them." I sighed. "I should've fought harder for her."

"Maybe if you fought harder you'd be in a lot more trouble."

"Don't tell me you believe in fate?"

His brow raised. "You don't?"  
"Not really." I shook my head. "I've never believe in much but peace and look where that got me."

His eyes softened. "Well, someone was looking out of both of us. You got a savior and I got a puppy eyed hottie in my bed."

"Oh, thanks." I laughed awkwardly.

He smirked as he rose. "You already knew I find you attractive." He said with confidence as he made his way around the room.

I choose not to answer that.

"So are you going to tell me about you or do I have to gu-"

A blonde guy flew into the door. He looked at me for a few moments then turned his not so friendly eyes to Eli. I didn't speak Grounder, but the conversation didn't sound too happy.

Eli forcefully held the guy back. "Easy there." He shoved him a few feet back.

The blonde guy glared at me with resentment thick in his eyes before spitting in my direction and leaving after another heated exchange.

Eli stared after him, his whole body stiff.

The tension was thick in the air.

"Not a fan of me, huh?"

He scoffed and turned to me with a look of resentment, something I hadn't seen, but thought was inevitable. "No." I shook his head. "He's an old friend, always sticking his nose in other's business."

"Do you mean old flame instead?" I asked nervously, waiting for him to go Grounder on me and my broken ass.

"What do you think?" He paced and angrily spoke in Trigedasleng, then went after the blonde guy.

In his absence I thought of how much I had disturbed his life. I barely knew Eli and he'd halted whatever he was doing to heal me after I slaughtered his people. Why was I still here?

With that thought I pushed my body over onto the floor with a thud as I refrained from groaning in excruciating pain. Not even the soup could prevent me from feeling that. For a moment I thought I was going to black out from the agony. Once I caught my breath I attempted to crawl for the exit. Attempted was a bit of a stretch I could barely move without crying out. But I had to keep going. If this was what it took for Eli to get his life back then so be it. He'd be grateful to not have the burden anymore. Maybe if I was lucky enough another Grounder would find me and take it all away. There was no way I'd make it to the cliff this way.

I searched around me. Eli was nowhere around. I could do this. Who knew how long he'd be back. The brisk night air chilled me to the bone. A growling from nearby caught my attention, but in the darkened forest I couldn't see a lot. Branches snapping, leaves rustling, a heavy growl. Then I felt breath raise the hairs on the back my neck.

CLARKE'S POV:

I stirred awake at the incessant sound of an alarm, the sunlight burning my eyes. I rolled over onto the pillow and wrapped the thick covers over me. I reached over and pounded it in hopes to stop the noise, but couldn't find it, so I threw the covers off and saw it sitting there on the bedside table, blinking numbers and all.

I pressed the buttons to make it stop, my heart stopped as it registered. A lamp. My eyes scanned my surroundings. Drapes. A tv. A fridge. A stove. A door. Where was I? Even on the Ark we had technology, but nothing like this.

Shocked, I jumped out of bed and opened the double doors to the balcony, the light blinding me. A gasp left me.

A/N: As a clarification, Clarke isn't back in Mount Weather or anywhere else the show's taken them.


	13. Lost

The song for this chapter is Kris Allen - Lost  
MURPHY'S POV:

We'd been walking carefully on this stupid trail Jaha forged with his walking stick. Caspian had already broken down and made a run for it, guns blazing. Jaha was the only one who ran after him, which said a lot about Jaha. I would've let the guy die if he wanted to risk his life so easily. One thing I didn't expect to happen was my stomach to turn when I thought Jaha could die. I didn't particularly like the guy, after all he floated my father, ruined my family, and sent me down here. He was a catalyst for bad. Still, something in me didn't want him to die. When I took him to see Wells' grave, I guess you could say we bonded. I wouldn't ever tell him that. When it happened, Octavia grabbed my hand, holding me in place, like she knew I'd go after him.

As soon as we all made it across safely, we ran up the dune. My legs burned endlessly, but it was worth it knowing it was about to be over. This was it. This was what Jaha had risked our lives for. If this was all a lie and there turned out to be nothing close to the City of Light, then it was all for nothing. Those people died for nothing.

Blinding light spanned across the land while disappointment ebbed in me. My eyes went to Jaha, knowing he'd be crushed. He gazed at the scene before us, not really understanding what his eyes were telling him. I took a step toward him, my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me.

Caspian cursed and threw a rock at one of the solar panels.

"We're going to move forward."

"What?" Caspian interjected. "You can't be serious. We just went through the desert and minefield to find that the City of Light doesn't exist. Now you want to keep going, keep risking our lives?"

I stepped toward him, removing my hand from Jaha's shoulder. "Hey, no one's forcing you to go. You can either come with us or crawl away like a coward. Your choice."

He stayed quiet.

"I'm in." Octavia stood by my side, then spoke to Indra in Trigedasleng, I wasn't even going to lie it was hot.

Indra stepped in front of Jaha. "We're not going back, not until we know what's out there. We're in."

Jaha nodded. "Then it's settled. We keep searching. Whoever wants to turn around go ahead now."

Octavia bumped into my side as we headed down the sand dune, following the tiny flying robot. "Look at you, having faith." She looked impressed.

A sense of pride ran through me at impressing her. "I figured why turn back now when it just got interesting." I bumped her back.

She laughed.

We came to a stop at the water, all of us confused at this point.

"There's a boat." Caspian pointed out.

There were eight of us and that boat looked to hold us, just not comfortably.

I looked at Caspian, a tiny bit amused. "Looks like you get to turn back after all." I told him.

He looked angry. "No, I'm not going back now. I have just as much right to be on that boat as any of you."

Octavia looked at Indra. "Will that boat hold our weight?"

She surveyed the boat, pushing it down a few times. "It should. We're not going to fit on here comfortably."

Without another word we all climbed into the boat one at a time while Octavia held it in place. When she boarded I knew she would sit on the floor, so I pulled her to my lap.

She let out a little gasp, shocked that I yanked her down. My hands rested on her hips.

She turned her hazel eyes to me. Something bordering on desire underneath. Her arm swung across my neck, holding herself in place from the waves while the Grounders started to paddle.

A few times she thought we were in fear of tipping over and tightened her grip on me, her other hand rested on my chest. I didn't blame her. None of us could swim besides the Grounders, so if we tipped over, we'd likely all die. I held her tight, a little afraid myself.

Indra and Jaha discussed strategies.

"How long have we been out here?"

"We're not there yet, so not long enough." I told him.

He scowled.

Octavia chuckled under her breath. "You should really stop antagonizing him."

"Maybe he should stop giving me a reason to antagonize him."

She nodded. "What do you think is out there? I know Jaha believes and you believe. Before this trip, I thought what a waste of time, people will die, but those solar panels and that robot is something, right?"

I didn't know what to tell her. I got my hopes up only to be disappointed. I don't ever get my hopes up. Not anymore.

I sighed. "I think whatever we find is something. Those people have power and lots of it by how many panels we saw. That thing is remote controlled, or at least programmed to know how to fly back wherever it came from. It's traveling across the ocean. I'm going to guess that it's going to the City of Light, O."

She nodded. "Even if it's not, someone still has power."

We stayed silent for a while, tuning out the noise before she turned back to me, her eyes honest.

"I don't want you to be discouraged. I know you want to start over, that's why you wanted to come, not to get away from me."

I stayed silent. Everyone had pretty much forgiven me, but I wanted to get away from that past. If we find the City of Light I could be anyone I wanted without any apprehension about my motives. I could do better. I could get back to the place where I was when both of my parents were alive and happy.

I looked down at Octavia. "You know, I wanted to be a chief."

She looked surprised. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I grinned. "I knew there was no career in it back up in space. My dad got his hands on a few old cooking shows and I used to watch them once they went to bed when I was little. I thought I was being sneaky, but they knew what I was doing." I could feel a layer of loneliness fall off of me. "When I'd get home from school, they'd have rations ready for me to play around with, even though it meant they could get floated. They wanted me to be happy."

She looked at me with kind eyes, bordering on the way Bellamy looked at Clarke. I knew Octavia cared about me. I knew she had love for me, but that she wasn't in love with me. While that stung, I knew all I had was time to prove that I could be there for her, that I could be better than my worst. I didn't want her to be ashamed of me. Maybe that's why I really wanted to find the City of Light, so I wouldn't be ashamed of myself.

"I can't imagine you having the patience to do that."

I shouldn't have been upset. I knew what kind of person I was, but coming from her, it hurt.

"Hey, I know you can do it if your heart's in it." Her hand on my chest turned my face to meet hers. "I don't doubt you, so don't doubt yourself."

My eyes searching hers. How did we get here? How did she believe in me more than I believed in myself? How did she come to care about me? When did I stop being monstrous Murphy to her to whatever we were now? I didn't know any of that, all I knew was that she was on my lap and her mouth was so close to mine that it would take no effort at all to capture them between mine and show her what she meant to me. Her staring at me like she could see through me didn't help.

If something did happen between us how would it change things? What if I lost her?

"Aren't you curious to what's out there?" She asked, gazing out at the glimmering sea spread before us for miles.

"Mermaids for sure. Maybe Sirens."

The corner of her mouth dipped in an amused smirk. "Mythical creatures, really?"

I followed her gaze, myself wondering what hid underneath the surface. What had survived? What had evolved? "I've read the books, seen the pictures." My eyes assessed her, finding only one flaw, if perfection could be considered a flaw. "You could've been Ariel and I could've been Prince Eric."

She laughed. "I don't think so. I'd rather be Xena."

"Definitely hot. You could work that."

A cocky smirk played on her lips. "I already work that."

Some time later she looked at me with tired eyes. Her mouth set in a frown as she held her stomach.

"O, you okay?"

She leaned over the side of the boat, puking up into the sea. I held her hips tighter, hoping I didn't leave any bruises. She groaned.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked Indra.

"She's sea sick." Indra answered with disdain, which I wasn't sure directed towards me or Octavia showing signs of weakness.

I held onto her tighter. "Well, is she going to be okay?" Annoyance heavy in my voice.

"Murphy, she'll be fine." Jaha assured me.

She wasn't showing signs of letting up, I could see a tear running down her cheek. I didn't know what to do to stop it. Panic set in.

"Are you just going to sit there? Do something!" I yelled at Indra.

"Murphy-" Jaha started.

"What?!" I glared at him.

If Octavia got seriously sick out here he was to blame for it. Abby was back at Camp, I couldn't get to her in time if I needed to.

His eyes tried to calm me. "She's going to be okay." His voice soothing.

Octavia leaned into me. Relief washed over me as my hand rubbed her back. I could feel everyone's eyes on us, but I didn't care. They could look all they wanted to.

CLARKE'S POV:

"Coffee?"

I snapped around so fast my neck hurt. Harper shut the front door behind her.

FINN'S POV:

Three months ago.

Something flew by my ear, pinning whatever tried to eat me to the ground a few feet away. I prayed it was a Grounder, giving me an early death. The shooter sat in front of me. I assumed it was Eli, due to the fact that he wasn't killing me.

"Are you okay?" He asked somberly.

It was hard to do anything else besides wish I were dead from the pain, but I managed. "Yeah."

He layed down beside me. He didn't speak, just let us lay in silence. Instead of relaxing me, it geared me up. Like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I couldn't gauge how long we stayed like that before he spoke.

"It's okay if you don't want to live after what you've done," His voice understanding. "But don't leave because you think I don't want you there."

I could feel him turn to look at me.

"Don't make me believe it was my fault you killed yourself. I couldn't live with that, Finn."

That never crossed my mind. I didn't want Eli to blame himself. I just wanted him to have his life back.

I flipped on my back with a groan. "I'm sorry." I turned my head to look at him.

This close I could make out his face, his eyes almost glowing emerald green.

"No, you're not. You'd do it again." He grinned.

A small laugh bubbled out of me. "You're right."

I instantly regretted laughing, it felt like my bones were about to snap, my muscles tight and burning in exertion. "It was going to happen sooner or later. You realize that, right?"

He turned away, his eyes on the sky. "Are all sky people this suicidal or is it just you?" He was silent for a bit. "Or is it me?"

Why would he think that? Well, I did just try to commit suicide after he took care of me. That should do it.

"Wh-"

"Is it because I'm gay? Does it make you that uncomfortable?"

Disbelief ebbed in me. "No, Eli." I was a little irritated that he thought that low of me. "You being gay doesn't make me uncomfortable. And it's not why I left. You need your life back. That guy from earlier proved that. What if he comes back with more angry Grounders and they kill you for protecting me? Then it would be my fault."

Silence spread over us.

"I'm not going to leave you to die. You're going to have to come back with me. It's not like you can protest, you can't move without crying out in pain."

At this point, I just wanted to rest.

"How'd you make it this far, anyway?"

Everything felt heavy.

"I don't know." He carefully picked me up.

My eyes closed for a second, then I opened them only to close them again as I tried to block out the sting of tired, sore muscles and healing bones. I should've ate the rest of the soup.

"You really scared me."

"Why was that?"

"Despite your death wish, I consider us to be friends. When you weren't there once I got back I knew you left and I thought it was because of how awful Kai was to you or me being gay."

"Yeah, that guy was a dick."

He laughed softly.

I opened my eyes, looking up at his face. He looked down at me expectantly. "I'm not a homophobe, I promise."

He smirked. "So what are you then?"

Again, I took in how much taller and broader is than me. I didn't like to stereotype people, but when it came to gay men he wasn't what I pictured. Muscles. Chiseled face. Manly confidence. Normal. I was aware of him carrying me and like whenever he touched me it felt different. Not like a woman's touch, but not like a man's either. Something in between.

"Finn?"

I met his eyes, swallowed the lump in my throat. "I guess, I never really thought about it." I thought of Clarke and she still made my heart jump. I thought of Eli and while I didn't want to jump into bed with him or anything, I enjoyed his presence. Sure, he was handsome.

"I mean, I've only been with two girls. Raven and Clarke. I've never had a guy interested in me before."

He smirked. "You think I'm interested in you?"

My face flushed. "That's not what I meant. I just-"

"Relax, Finn." He grinned. "I'm just messing with you."

I gave a small grin.

"You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

I wasn't exactly sure what he meant, but I wasn't worried. "No."

"Good."

BELLAMY'S POV:

Lexa helped us out. It had been a few days without a sign of Clarke or who took her. We headed back to camp to regroup and map our next search party. Kane didn't leave my side the entire time, his kindness probably brought on by his guilt. At one point, he said, "I didn't want to float your mother, Bellamy. I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry." I gave him an appreciatory nod before going back to searching.

Now, I found myself standing in front of Finn's place. He told us where to find him. I couldn't believe I was here right now. It was bad enough I had to ask for Lexa's help, but now Finn's.

"Can I help you?" A stern voice asked from behind me.

I turned to see a tall, dark haired Grounder, a little broader than myself. He was carrying the makings of a dinner.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Finn, but I think I have the wrong place. Sorry to bother you."

I headed back, wondering if Finn lied to us.

"He lives here."

I turned around to look at him. "And you are?"

"Eli. I take it you're Bellamy?"

I nodded. "May I?" I gestured to his housing.

"Sure." He grinned as he walked past me, like he was assessing me.

I followed him inside only to see no sign of him. Eli sat down his supplies then led me to a clearing with a few wooden posts stuck in the ground. Finn moved gracefully from post to post, handling a long stick that dipped and smacked the posts. He appeared to be training.

Eli spoke to him in Trigedasleng.

He turned at our presence, sweaty and shirtless. He packed on a few muscles in his absence. Like I expected, he didn't look happy to see me. He stared at me, much in the same way Eli had.

"What are you doing here, Bellamy?" He asked. "Something wrong?"

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be the reason he lost it again, but I didn't have any other choice. I needed every resource I could get because so far the ones I had weren't pulling results. If they had, I wouldn't be here.

"Clarke's missing."

I waited for the inevitable break down.

Worry registered on his face, but that's all that happened. "Oh." He glanced at Eli, then looked back at me. "How long has she been gone?"

"A few days."

The redundancy in our lives was starting to piss me off.

"Any idea of who'd take her?" He grabbed his shirt from the ground and pulled it over his head.

"Spacewalker, if I had any idea who could have her, I wouldn't be here talking to you."

Eli stepped in. "You know, he didn't even go on that spacewalk. That was Raven."

My forehead creased. Who was this guy? I shot Finn a look.

"Eli saved my life. Nursed me back to health." There was a certain fondness in his voice that surprised me.

I gave Eli a curt nod. "Okay." I turned to Finn. "So, you in or what?"

He walked past me and for the first time I noticed his hair had grown longer, like how it was when we first landed. Eli and I followed him.

"We're both in, if that's okay with you?" Eli asked.

"The more eyes, the better."

Finn disappeared into the large tent, leaving Eli and I alone.

I turned to him. "Thank you."

He gave me a half smile. "I don't mind. Any friend of Finn's is a friend of mine." He eyed me again. "Of course, I know you two aren't close. Both in love with the same girl and all."

Where was Finn?

Just then he appeared with two bags, tossing one to Eli. "It'll take some time. You're probably already trampled any evidence left, but I'll do my best."

There was a sense of relief, knowing I had a tracker looking for Clarke. "Great. Let's get moving." I headed back.

"Boy, you weren't kidding." Eli whispered to Finn.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Nothing." The amusement clear in his voice.

My eyes rolled as Finn laughed.

What had I gotten myself into?

RAVEN'S POV:

It had been tough seeing Jasper like that when they brought him back. I may have been a little late coming down here, but I knew what things were when I landed. Jasper and Monty were brothers, sure the ground tested them, but they still had an unbreakable bond. Now that bond was gone and all that was left behind was Jasper. Not having a proper burial had to mess with his mind. Apparently, when they went back to look for his body, Monty was nowhere to be found. We all came to terms that an animal got to him.

I watched him work with Wick, throwing himself into the work. My heart went out to him. This couldn't have been easy. Time and time again I was thankful that Finn had escaped from Lexa's murder trial. As messed up as it sounded, I was glad that he wasn't here because I still loved him. He'd been the one to help me out when my own mother didn't even care. I knew I loved him from an early age and coming down here changed us. We didn't have the same relationship. We had pieces of memories and feelings clung to friendship.

Before Clarke went missing she told me that he stopped by and I couldn't deny that him not coming to see me hurt, but it also made me realize I was stuck on someone who didn't want me.

My eyes went to Wick. He was teaching Jasper a few things and I couldn't help but grin. He looked up to find me watching him. He winked with a smirk, then went back to helping Jasper.

CLARKE'S POV:

How did she get here?

"So, that's a no on the coffee?"

A loud blaring came from the other side of the wall. It was music, some genre I hadn't heard much of, but recognized as classic rock.

"Where are we?" I asked Harper.

She gave me a confused look as she raided the fridge. "What do you mean?"

I neared her. "How long have you been here?"

She shrugged. "A while." She chuckled. "I bet no one noticed I was gone. I got here right after we were released from Mount Weather."

She started on the coffee, making it in the machine like it was second nature. "What's with the third degree, Clarke? We're safe here."

I rounded the counter. "Do you even know where here is?"

She looked at me as if were obvious before nodding at something behind me. I turned to see Sterling.

"I thought you were dead."

He grinned. "Hey, Clarke."

OCTAVIA'S POV:

Warmth bloomed in my chest as I listened to Murphy talk about his childhood. He smiled and like lately it reached his eyes. I didn't think I could enjoy looking at someone's smile so much, but with Murphy it felt like a personalized gift whenever he decided to show it to me.

His hands on my hips tightened every time the boat rocked a little too much.

It was hopeful to see him passionate about something. When we reached the top of the sand dune and there was nothing but panels I thought he'd give up, but instead he stepped up.

I imagined him as a child, experimenting on dishes, happy and loving. I wondered what it would take to get him back to that place. Whenever we get to where this ocean leads us I hope there's something for him. He's changed so much from when we first landed.

He looked down at me with worry in his eyes.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing to worry about." His grip on me tightened as deafening crackles from the sky sounded. "Thunder."

Rain heavily poured down on us. Just what we needed.

A streak of lightning flashed miles away from us. We could make it through this.

The wind picked up. The waves became bigger, slowly becoming harsh. Each wave swayed us from side to side. I was going to throw up again. I leaned over the boat. Murphy's grip tightened so hard I thought he'd bruise my bones. There was nothing much left in me from the first time I got sick, now it was just dry heaves.

"Are you okay?" Murphy asked me.

A wave crashed into us, wetting everyone to the bone even more. I just wanted to get off this boat! Lightened struck closer to us this time, there were a few screams of panic which I couldn't help but find funny being that Indra and I were the only two women on the boat and neither of us seemed scared. As I finished dry heaving something moved in the water, jumped out at me, sharp teeth ready. Murphy flung us back as I let out a scream. I spoke too soon.

Jaha tried to keep us all calm, but he was on the edge of freaking out himself.

Two more bolts of lightning struck as whatever was in the water knocked into our boat. I cowered into Murphy's side. The paddles didn't help any at this point.

"What the hell is that?" Caspian asked.

"A Great white shark." Indra answered, real fear in her voice.

A wave sprayed us again, another taking us under water for a few life threatening seconds. I coughed up salt water and who knows what else. My eyes on Murphy. He already accepted that we were going to die.

"Octavia," He started.

I shook my head at him. "No."

His blue eyes pleaded as another wave hit us. "Please, let me-."

"No." Tears stung my eyes, my chin trembling.

I didn't want to die. I didn't want to leave my brother. I didn't want to leave Murphy.

"I love you, Octavia Blake." He wiped my tears away.

Thunder roared above us, lightning rained down on us, waves hit us, a shark stalked us. Lightning hit the boat and it split. Murphy dropped into the water, holding onto my hand for dear life.

My eyes widened as my heart jumped out of my chest. "I love you, John Murphy."

Strength found my body as I tried pull him up, but the boat was breaking off, the waves too strong for us. The sight of the shark yards away made me cry out. I met his eyes. There was acceptance in them, contentment. His grip on my hand loosened so fast I couldn't stop it. I shook my head, ready to protest. He fell into the sea, willing his life away.

"NO!" I cried.

Indra held me back. "He's gone."

I fought her, prepared to jump in, but her hold was too strong.

"I'm sorry, Octavia."

I crumbled into her arms as uncontrollable sobs wracked my body.


	14. Devil's Backbone

The song for this chapter is The Civil Wars - The Devil's backbone watch?v=YTb6MoMLvcY Sorry for the not great chapter title. The title's obviously are named after songs. I already had a song picked out for this chapter, but I decided to use that for a later chapter and use this instead.

The bellarke fan video is watch?v=eFSXKXXsLdo

CLARKE'S POV:

"Wait a minute." I backed away from them.

I distinctly remembered Bellamy telling me Sterling was speared after the war with the Grounders. And when I thought about it, Harper hadn't been around.

He stepped forward. "It's okay now."

"I don't understand." I looked between him and Harper. "How did we get here? Why is there this much power here?"

They grinned. "Isn't it obvious?" Harper asked.

I gave them a look. "Obviously, I don't know."

Sterling held his hands up in surrender. "Relax, Clarke. The City of Light is safe. No one's going to hurt us here."

It couldn't be real. Fairy tales weren't real, but so far I've seen things I couldn't have imagined.

"Where are you going?" Harper asked.

I opened the door only to run into Roma. My eyes grew as I stared at her alive and well. Now I knew I was dreaming. I rushed past her, trying to find something to wake me up, but I was mystified at the few people in the hall. A white guy with ruby red dreads and jeans rode by me on some time of board with four wheels, smelling of what I assumed was a medicinal plant. He grinned and his eyes matched his hair. A couple argued in the hall, the woman forcing the man out of door with three kids behind her. A young girl came up a set of stairs, talking on what appeared to be a thin, tiny phone.

I had to be dreaming or hallucinating. I remember being kidnapped, my hands went around my throat. It was still sore, my eyes still stung from crying over Bellamy.

Bellamy.

Something in me snapped and I ran for the stairs, taking them as fast as I could without tripping. A door stood between me and the outside. With a deep breath I pushed it open, the sunlight stinging my eyes as I bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" A guy yelled with a northern accent I recognized from a few old movies.

My eyes adjusted to find people everywhere. I swirled around, taking in buildings that reached the sky. Loud noises surrounded me. A passing train overhead made me jumpy. I was knocked to the ground.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." A blonde girl with shorts and a tank top crouched over me. She held her hand out, seeming out of breath. "When I'm listening to music, I don't really see anything else. Dangerous, I know." She gave a sheepish grin.

I stood on my own. "It's fine." I turned away from her, moving forward.

So many people. Restaurants and businesses at every turn. How was this here? How was any of this possible? How long had this been here?

A car skidded to a stop not even an inch in front of me. My heart jumped in my chest.

"I'm sorry." I moved out of the way quickly.

The car doors opened. Out stepped a girl and guy around my age, a few years older dressed in clean cut suits. They both had dark brown hair and olive skin, reminding me of Octavia and Bellamy instantly, they had to be siblings. The girl had a ton of makeup on, her lips a dark red.

"Clarke," The girl approached me. "Glad you've woken. We need to speak with you." Authority heavy in her voice. "Get in the car."

I backed up a few feet, suddenly aware that I didn't have any weapons.

They closed the distance. "Hey, we just want to welcome you to the City of Light. Nothing sketchy, I swear." He gave a calming grin.

"No offense, but I don't know you. Why'd you bring me here? Where's the rest of my people?"

"Get in and we'll inform you of anything you want to know." The girl demanded.

Her brother gave her a look. "Way to make her feel safe, Talia."

She rolled her eyes. "We don't have time for pleasantries. We have a full schedule for the rest of the evening and I'm planning on keeping it."

"You two are in charge?"

"Please forgive my sister, she has to work on her rapport. I'm Evan." He held out his hand.

"What do you want with me? Why'd you kidnap me from my home?"

Talia scowled. "That wasn't your home. This is where you belong. You should be thankful."

I glared at her, taking a few steps toward her. "You take me from my people and you expect me to be thankful? I don't know you from Eve. I want answers, but I'm not getting in that car with you."

She smirked at me. "You have a little fight in you. I'm not surprised. We could use you in the company."

Evan stepped in. "Leave us alone for a second." He nodded at the driver in the front seat of the black car. He glanced at his flashy watch and my hands immediately searched for my dad's. "How about we go get some lunch?"

Panic rose. Where was it? What if I dropped it when I'd been taken? What if I never saw it again? I walked onto the black cement, determined to find the only thing left of my father's, the only thing connecting me to Bellamy.

Hands wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me to a hardened chest as a car blared it's horn. My heart thudded rapidly as I met Evan's green eyes. He looked concerned as he let me go.

"You really need to pay attention, Clarke. This world isn't the same as you're used to."

"There you are!" Sterling ran up to us, out of breath. "I kept calling your name."

Talia acknowledged him. "We were just getting to know Clarke." She cracked a smile at him.

Sterling grinned at her shyly, then met my eyes. "Are you okay?"

I ran my hand through my hair as I looked around me. "Where's Bellamy? Is my mom here?"

"No." Sterling answered. "It's just us."

"How could you be okay with that?"

He shrugged. "Look around, Clarke. This is bigger than us. We weren't meant to become Grounders and we would've if we stayed out there."

"Bellamy risked his life saving all of us and you didn't even think to reach out to us? To let us know there was something else out there?"

"Don't blame him." Talia interfered. "It's not up him who gets to come here."

I huffed. "Then who do I need to talk to? I need to get back to my people."

"I'm afraid that's not possible." She said.

I looked to Evan. He seemed to be the more reasonable one. "What if I don't want to live here? You can't keep me against my will. The last group that tried to didn't make it out alive."

Talia nodded. "We heard about that. So what do you feel up for? I'm thinking Thai."

I sighed again. What other choice did I have? The sooner I got answers the sooner I'd be able to figure out how to get back home.

BELLAMY'S POV:

"It's been hours. Please tell me we have something?" I asked Finn.

"I'm trying, but it's been days since she was last here." He sighed, meeting my eyes. "The only thing I can suggest is we set out and don't come back until we find her."

My neck felt tense, I reached back to massage it.

"That's the best I've got. It doesn't have to be a lot of us. Probably just Kane or Abby. One of them has to stay behind. And Lexa."

My head snapped up. "No way. The three of us and Kane. That's all we need."

He looked confused. "In case you haven't noticed we could use the muscle."

Eli coughed under his breath.

"Not that we don't already have some," He clarified. "But in this world, more helps."

I nodded. Lexa would demand to come anyway when she found out.

"Sure."

We set out for the long search ahead of us, nearing the Dead Zone fairly quickly. Luckily, the sun was setting soon. I could feel my skin cracking under the intense heat. The light chatter amongst the group did little to distract me. Every thought I had was consumed with worry over Clarke. I didn't know whether she was safe, scared, or alive. I didn't know if I'd ever find her again. These last few days without her made it abundantly clear that I couldn't do this without her. She believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. She made me care. She saved me from becoming a Grounder. Now all of that didn't mean anything because she was gone.

As the sun set I couldn't help but play the argument over and over in my head. I'd been so angry, felt so betrayed. I had a right to be, but I also didn't have to be an ass about it. If I had just heard her out...

Kane strode beside me. "You okay?"

"No."

Silence stretched between us.

"You will be. We're going to find her." He patted me on the back.

I glanced at him, wondering why he decided to be there for me all of a sudden. "What's your angle, Kane?"

His forehead creased. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, why are you here? Why are you being so nice? I don't need your pity."

He shook his head. "It's nothing like that. I just...I see myself in you. We were similar when I was your age."

"I doubt that." I looked ahead.

"No, it's true. I had someone I was serious about and I lost her because of a poor decision. For a long time, I didn't know how to deal with that, so I focused on enforcing the laws on the Ark. That was all I had."

I eyed him. "What did you do to lose her?"

He sighed with a faraway look in his eyes. "I cheated on her. When I went to tell her she already decided our fate. I couldn't get her to talk to me. It became too hard and I stopped trying eventually. One of the biggest mistakes of my life."

"I'm sorry, but you and I are nothing alike." I looked him in the eyes, again feeling something familiar about them.

He stared back, face a calm mask. "We're more alike that you realize, Bellamy."

I scoffed. "Why don't you keep your stories to yourself, Kane. I'm not going to make the same mistake you did. I love her. I would never cheat on her."

He nodded to himself before giving me some space.

CLARKE'S POV:

The three of us sat at a table closest to the exit, per Evan's request. The two of them sat across from me. Never have I heard of Thai food, which I was told was from Thailand, which I wasn't sure existed anymore. According to Evan it was spicy and spicy was good.

"You'll come to learn there's a lot to experience here. I'm sure that you haven't expanded your taste buds in your lifetime." Evan thanked the waitress for bringing our drinks.

I inspected my juice, then brought the glass to my lips. The sweet tangy pineapple puree went down nicely, I finished it all in a few gulps.

"You've never had juice before?" Talia asked, she sipped her sweet tea with lemon.

"There wasn't enough resources to have that luxury." I surveyed the restaurant again, hoping by some miracle I'd see familiar faces. I touched my neck again, feeling the raw skin proving that this wasn't some bad dream.

"I need some answers. Why'd you kidnap me instead of just talking? I assume it was you that took me."

Talia typed rapidly on her phone. Evan met my eyes. "Actually, it wasn't us. We don't handle the dirty work. No offense."

They looked over my shoulder, a grin on Evan's face and a mildly content look on Talia's. I turned to see a younger version of them headed our way. Instead of dark brown hair he had sandy brown hair, both sides buzzed short, the top a neat short cut. Unlike his siblings he wore casual clothes, all black everything. His pants snug enough that they weren't baggy and his fitted buttoned down v-neck hung loose enough that you could clearly see he was in shape. He wasn't too buff, the perfect amount of muscle. A light stubble peppered his face, his chin dipping into a cleft like Bellamy's.

He grinned at his siblings, then turned his crystal blue eyes on me, recognition in them. He sat down next to me, his thigh touching mine. A masculine cologne overtook me. "Aiden." He held out his hand.

I shook it, feeling the calluses on his palm. He seemed to be the type to handle dirty business. "It was you." I pulled my hand away.

"Yeah." He looked me in the eyes. "I'm glad you're okay."

I moved my leg away from his. "You wanted me here." I stared at Talia and Evan. "Why?"

"We told you, Clarke. You shouldn't be living out there like savages."

"You mean like Grounders. In case you hadn't noticed we've made it on our own for months now. We only had ourselves. It wasn't easy. You've let the Grounders live there without any interference. Why?" I leaned forward on my elbows. "Were they too far gone for your society to be "saved"? Were you afraid of them? Afraid they'd ruin it? Or take it over?"

Talia pursed her lips. "Yes. We have tried before, a generation or two ago and the Commander at the time didn't want any part of our city. We've left them alone since."

"And you don't think Lexa wouldn't want her people to have better? That was another time, another Commander. What makes my life any more important than theirs?"

They looked at each other, tension in the air. I looked at Evan for the answer, hoping he'd just tell me the truth, but he didn't say anything.

Aiden turned toward me, his clear blue eyes honest as he sighed. "You need time to get used to the city. We don't want to overwhelm you right now."

My forehead creased. "How courteous of you."

His eyes held worry. "I think it'd be in your best interest for us to discuss this later." Promise thick in his voice.

I couldn't count on that promise, but somehow I caved. "Fine."

The waitress refilled my glass.

"I'll have my usual." He told her.

She scurried away.

"I need to contact my people, let them know I'm okay. I'm assuming you have a radio system." I pointed to the ceiling, which was playing a mix of eclectic songs. I thought of Bellamy and my mom. A wave of sadness washed over me. Our fight was bad. "Well, most of my people, anyway."

Aiden touched his knee to mine again. This time I didn't move away, a tiny bit grateful for the contact that seemed was aimed to comfort me, but then I moved mine away, remembering he was the one that took me.

"I'm afraid that's not possible. No one enters the city without our say so." Talia informed.

My annoyance rose. "Then give them the say so. Obviously, you've been watching us if you know who I am."

"I'm sorry," Evan apologized. "We can't do that."

"And why not? You don't really expect me to stay here against my will, do you?"

"We can't let you leave, Clarke." Aiden inforced. He touched my shoulder.

My hand grabbed the knife in front of me and before anyone could object it was pressed against his throat. "Don't touch me."

His eyes held no sign of fear, only arrogance, assurance that I wouldn't actually hurt him.

"Don't you dare hurt him." Talia threatened.

A few patrons stirred.

"Or what?" My eyes locked on Aiden's. "Are you going to kick me out?" I asked her.

Aiden smirked, clearly amused by me. "Put the knife down, Griffin."

"Please," Evan pleaded, worry in his voice.

I removed the knife, making sure to leave a trail of blood so they knew I wasn't playing around. Talia glared at me. Evan looked relieved. Aiden wiped the blood on his dark pants.

"I see that you need to learn your place." Talia tapped her french manicured nails on her glass of tea.

"I don't belong here." My voice rose. "Your attempts to keep me here will fail. I'll find a way back to my people. I always do."

Her perfect eyebrow arched in disdain. "That's endearing of you to presume that, but you won't slip from our fingers that easily. Our security is very competent."

The waitress arrive to our table with our food balancing on her arms, a concentrated look in her eyes. As she placed Aiden's down, another fell onto Evan's lap. She gasped, clearly embarrassed that she wasted food on a big shot of the city.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Wyatt."

"How inept can you be?" Talia hissed. "I'd like to speak with your manager."

Talia's authority obviously made the girl feel inferior, tears brimmed in her eyes.

Evan stopped dabbing at his suit to meet her eyes, a kind smile in place. "It's okay. It was an accident, right?"

She nodded quickly, blinking her tears away before brushing off the remaining crumbs off his suit with a rag. "I'm so so sorry. Can I get you anything else?" She stammered, avoiding his eyes.

He grabbed her hand, catching her gaze. "Honestly, it's okay. Just another order for me. Make it to go, please." He let go of her hand and she fled in a daze, obviously intimidated by his handsome looks. I assumed she just started this job, being that she didn't appear at all confident in her ability to take orders and serve food.

He typed on his phone.

Talia scoffed with a roll of her eyes. She stood, typing on her phone. "You really need to knock this Mr. Nice act. If someone is incompetent at their profession they should be reprimanded. How do you expect to run the business when Dad's gone?" She stalked out of the restaurant. Both brothers sighed.

"Apologies. My sister can be a bit..." Evan grappled for a word.

"Of a bitch?" I supplied.

Aiden laughed. "That's a bit of an understatement." He flicked a piece of rice off the table at his brother. Evan gave him a stern look, but I could tell he was trying not to find it amusing. "Dig in, Griffin. You don't know what you're missing."

I eyed my food. It looked strange. A mixture of meat, vegetables, and noodles covered in some type of sauce or soup. I didn't think my stomach would agree with that.

Aiden forked some food off my plate. "If you won't eat any, I'll just take it."

A bald man approached the table, a mask of professionalism about him. He handed Evan a long black bag.

"Thank you, Gordon." He rose. "I'll be back."

I watched him leave, realizing I was left along with Aiden, the man who kidnapped me. He cut his eye at me. "What do you want to do today? There's a lot to do here, a lot that you've never experienced."

I stayed silent, deciding that ignoring him would be best. He stared at me until I finally met his gaze. "What?" I demanded.

He leaned closer, clearly having no problem invading my space. "You're going to have to be around me, so get used to the idea."

I couldn't help the scowl on my face. "I don't have to get used to anything." I made my way to the door, making it to the nearest crosswalk before he grabbed my arm, pulling me to him. His clear blue eyes glared into mine while his cologne engulfed me. I noticed how much he towered over me, much more than Bellamy did. The sunlight glinted off a tiny silver hoop in the top of his right ear.

"You can hate me all you want, but I can't let you leave."

I yanked my arm away from his burning grasp and unknowingly turned into traffic, horns blaring at me, drivers cursing. He snatched me back to his chest. His eyes burned.

"That's another thing, you need to learn the rules of the city before you get yourself killed." He barked.

"What do you care?"

"I brought you here, didn't I?"

I huffed. "You can't keep me here!"

He rubbed the back of his neck and took a few steps away. "Clarke, I know you don't want to be here and I'm the reason you are, I get that." His voice softened. "But you're meant to be here."

"Huh?" Curiosity filled me.

His eyes looked tired. "Nevermind."

We turned at Evan's presence. He wore a new suit. "Everything okay?"

Aiden raised his brow at me. "Is it?"

I'd play their game for now, but as soon as I got the chance I'd make a run for it. How hard could it be?

BELLAMY'S POV:

The next morning we headed out after sleeping against a dune. If we ran into my sister and everyone else I would be pleased. The odds of that happening today seemed slim.

My body ached, my throat rubbed together from thirst. My calves burned. It was undeniably exhausting to trek through the desert, the sand making it hard to move very fast. I'd do this a billion times over if I had to. Clarke was worth more than anything I had to endure. Regrettably, my mind was getting away from me. I needed to find her, but I wasn't going to go full Finn.

My eyes found him walking alongside Eli. I didn't know what it was about him, but something was definitely different. He seemed more disciplined, calmer, and happier. Eli said something and he snorted. I wasn't partial to Finn, he was in love with my girl, and he was her first. There was always going to be a part of me that was jealous. Looking at him now, he seemed content. It surprised me that I was glad he had someone in his time away that helped him out. He served as a cautionary tale. Finn wasn't a bad guy, more of a pacifist than the rest of us, he just had a breakdown. What we all went through, I'd say he was entitled to it. Granted, he definitely didn't have to kill all those Grounders. Even then, he wasn't so different than the rest of us, than Murphy. We all did what we had to and the Grounders would do worse if they had to.

I walked up to them, striding next to Eli. He towered over me. "Thanks again for helping us out." I told them both.

"Not a problem." Eli grinned. "As long as you don't make a habit out of losing Clarke, we're good."

I cracked a smile. "I don't plan on it. When I get her back she's not leaving my sight."

"He's serious, too." Finn told him.

Eli spoke in Trigedasleng, Finn almost keeled over in laughter, clutching his stomach. Eli gazed at him with admiration and something a lot like desire.

They weren't, were they? I mean, not that I objected, but Finn was in love with Clarke. Wasn't he? I thought back to when I told him about Clarke, he didn't seem all that upset, he just looked at Eli and was pretty calm about it. I suppose I could chalk it up to the three months of separation and him learning from his mistakes. I watched them, realizing I had yet to really pick up the Grounder language, which was pretty much slanged English. I also realized I hadn't seen Finn this happy before, even around Clarke, who used to worry the hell out of him.

"What were you training for?" I asked him.

Eli's strides became longer and soon he was out of hearing distance and began talking with Lexa. I turned to Finn.

He sighed. "It was physical therapy."

My brow rose. "What for?"

He stared straight ahead, his body stiff. For a few moments he was silent. Finally, he spoke, "I tried to kill myself." Shame thick in his voice.

What could I say to that? He didn't want my pity.

"Pathetic, right?"

"Considering what you've been through, what we've all been through, I wouldn't-"

"You mean what I've done, what we've all done." He replaced quiltily.

I nodded. "Hey," I exhaled. "You're still here though. There's a reason for that. You didn't give up."

He stared after Eli, deep in thought. If he did feel something for Eli, I wondered if he scared to admit it?

"It's none of my business, but it seems you have Eli to thank for that."

He looked at me with hesitant puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, I'm not blind. There's something there, right?"

His face blushed as he looked away. "I'm not quite sure."

I nodded. "Well, if something's going to happen you might have to be the one to make the move. He still thinks you're into Clarke."

"He doesn't."

"You sure?"

He met my eyes. "No."

A loud noise came from ahead, sending us flying back. A black smoke cloud filled the sky as sand rained down.

"No." Finn crawled away as he stumbled toward Eli, who laid clutching his right leg to his chest. His face shrewd in agony, but he didn't make a sound.

Lexa brushed off her clothes, ignoring her minor arm wound.

Kane searched around us, looking for a suspect as I rose. "Bellamy, you okay?" He asked, checking me over.

"Yeah, you?" I walked toward him, coughing from the smoke.

He nodded.

"Finn, is he okay?" I called.

"Nobody move!" Lexa commanded, her head bleeding from the roots of her hair light brown hair. "I thought this might be a problem. The land is mined."

My temper flared.

"You knew about this and you still let us come this way?" Finn demanded, his face unbelieving as he held Eli to his side.

She assessed him. "We have to find Clarke, we have to do what we have to do. I'd expect you of all people to understand that."

His face paled. She left him speechless. He focused on Eli, who had all his limbs in tact, but it looked like he had a minor gash in his leg. Finn took off his shirt and made a tourniquet out of it. Eli trained his eyes away from Finn's chest. I cracked a grin.

"I have to take him back." Finn announced.

"What?" Eli and I demanded.

"I'm fine." Eli pulled away from him only to tumble to the ground. "Really, I'm okay." He said flippantly.

"No, you're not." Finn helped him up. "I'm sorry, Bellamy."

Lexa cautiously stepped forward. "If you leave you can forget about your pardon."

Woah.

We all turned toward her in disbelief.

"That's not fair."

She shot a glare at me. "This is none of your business."

I started forward, but Kane halted me. "Finn's my people, so it is my business. He's apart of our society. If not for his attempts at peace in the beginning who knows how many of either of our people would be dead." She knew I was right. "Besides, you don't want Clarke to hate you."

She sneered at me.

"I'm okay to go," Eli assured everyone.

It wasn't like he was fatally injured, but the way Finn reacted you'd think he was on his death bed.

"We have to keep going. We have to find Clarke." Eli told him.

"Now we just have to find the rest of the landmines." Kane said.

I met his eyes. "Great."

Hope yall like it! I know I said I'd have it up by Sunday, it's 1 am so...Hope yall like the CoL dynamics.


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